A LONGING

A LONGING

A Poem by Shabeeh Haider


I close my eyes and hide those dreams,

That will not see the light.

Why does it feel when I’m with you,

That everything is right.

 

Someone has given you his name,

We have to stay apart,

But when had you stretched out your soul,

And handed me your heart?

 

Your fragrance sweetens someone’s night,

Your smiles brighten their day.

And all I get are whispered words,

A thousand miles away.

 

How much I want you in my arms,

How many times I cry,

And though I breathe, I eat, I live,

How many times I die?


© 2016 Shabeeh Haider



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Featured Review

Oh baby! I've been there! This might be my favorite of all your stuff that I've read lately. I absolutely LOVE the way you have stated this message in terms that are somewhat elusive & also apparent at the same time. Everything about the structure feels just right for the message, too. It reads well & oh-so-relatable. Life presents us with such unreasonable challenges, huh? (((HUGS)))

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shabeeh Haider

1 Year Ago

Oh Barleygirl. I can feel for you. Life goes on but the regret and the emptiness never goes away.read more



Reviews

This makes me think of FORBIDDEN love!! So much longing and hope and sadness and passion! All balled up into one great poem

Posted 11 Months Ago


Shabeeh Haider

11 Months Ago

Connolly, Thank you for stopping by and taking time to read this poem.
This is really a good write. So much feeling and expression in your words.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Shabeeh Haider

1 Year Ago

Thank you for such a generous review
This Owl can relate to every word you said above. :D very nice! Shabeeh Haider


Posted 1 Year Ago


Shabeeh Haider

1 Year Ago

Thank you very much Yan for your kind words
The magic in your simplest expressions never fail to awe me. I read it, closed my eyes, and re-read it.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Shabeeh Haider

1 Year Ago

So kind of you. I can imagine you reading it with closed eyes. :)
Well sir, I get to say only one thing reading this ...
"You died,
I survived,
But surviving this way
I die everyday..........."

So nice poem penned by you right from the bottom of the heart and reaching to the readers'... so nice to read....
thanks for sharing!!!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Shabeeh Haider

1 Year Ago

Wonderful words from you. Thank you Anindita
Anindita Janhabee

1 Year Ago

Most welcome Sir..
I love the descriptions in this piece. This is a simple poem, yet the words are truly capable of evoking a feeling of longing (as the title would suggest). I also enjoyed the contrast you created in this poem; there's a sense of beauty conveyed throughout, but there's also a feeling of yearning--which strongly emphasizes how it feels to be away from someone (or perhaps something) you love. On top of that, the flow is very nice. Good job on this poem.

- William Liston

Posted 1 Year Ago


Shabeeh Haider

1 Year Ago

William, thank you for your very kind words
Achingly beautiful. I love the thought you put into your romantic poems - they're not mushy clichés slapped together, but unique images with evident effort and feeling behind them. My favorite lines by far are "But when had you stretched out your soul, / And handed me your heart?" Beautiful connection of "soul" and "heart," which are almost synonyms, but not quite. That gives these lines a lovely parallel structure, especially with the verbs you used. The final stanza is also fantastic. Excellent work overall! You engaged my mind and tugged at my heartstrings with this one.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Shabeeh Haider

1 Year Ago

Alicia, I am glad that you could feel the pain behind these lines. Thank you for such a wonderful re.. read more
Powerful, amazing words for the emotion of love.
"How much I want you in my arms,
How many times I cry,
And though I breathe, I eat, I live,
How many times I die?"
We will die often for the want of love. The above lines perfect and true. Thank you Shabeeh for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 1 Year Ago


Shabeeh Haider

1 Year Ago

Coyote, I am humbled and honored by your kind words.
Coyote Poetry

1 Year Ago

Was my honor to read your work.
This is so sad and beautiful... Wonderful writing. The longing for your loved one is nicely conveyed and it enhances the connectedness that you get from these emotions... Great work!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Shabeeh Haider

1 Year Ago

Sapientiam. Thank you for your kind words and nice to meet you here

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987 Views
31 Reviews
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Added on July 25, 2016
Last Updated on July 25, 2016
Tags: poetry, love, shabeeh

Author

Shabeeh Haider
Shabeeh Haider

Makkah



About
Writing poetry is my passion. I have been writing since I was 10 years of age. I love the poets of the Romantic Era and am very particular about rhyme, meter and balance. I have also written many Gha.. more..

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