A LONGING

I close my eyes and hide those dreams,

That will not see the light.

Why does it feel when I’m with you,

That everything is right.

 

Someone has given you his name,

We have to stay apart,

But when had you stretched out your soul,

And handed me your heart?

 

Your fragrance sweetens someone’s night,

Your smiles brighten their day.

And all I get are whispered words,

A thousand miles away.

 

How much I want you in my arms,

How many times I cry,

And though I breathe, I eat, I live,

How many times I die?

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Oh baby! I've been there! This might be my favorite of all your stuff that I've read lately. I absolutely LOVE the way you have stated this message in terms that are somewhat elusive & also apparent at the same time. Everything about the structure feels just right for the message, too. It reads well & oh-so-relatable. Life presents us with such unreasonable challenges, huh? (((HUGS)))

[Shabeeh Haider]

Oh Barleygirl. I can feel for you. Life goes on but the regret and the emptiness never goes away.read moreOh Barleygirl. I can feel for you. Life goes on but the regret and the emptiness never goes away.
{{HUGS}}.
Thank you for your review

[Fahmida Mehreen]

May my sighs find a shelter in your heart.
This is the only thought that passed through my mind as I read your poem.

Warm and romantic.

[Shabeeh Haider]

i am speechless, Fahmida. People review poems. You have reviewed the emotions behind this poem.
read morei am speechless, Fahmida. People review poems. You have reviewed the emotions behind this poem.
Wonderful to hear from you after a long time.

[Fahmida Mehreen]

I am more than glad to have done so. I only wrote what I felt.
I have my tabs on your work. :)

[Shabeeh Haider]

that is so sweet. Stay blessed

[Sammi]

First Shabeeh I love the color! ;) I think this is marvelously written sad and beautiful all at the same time (like clandestine love) unsated hungers desires and yearnings make the impossibility of glorious physical emotion and sensations impossible, a lot like holding a glass of ice water just out of a dehydrated person's reach, the smoothness is so fine I figured out your every two lines have 8 and 6 syllables each and makes me want to thy this style, and the heartbreak just killed me to the bone with a little tear of sadness! :'( -- thank you!

HUGGS!
Sammi

[Shabeeh Haider]

You have said it so well Sammi. So much like clandestine love. And all my poems have a very specific rhyming pattern. Thank you for your kind words.

[Sammi]

I want to give your style a try Shabeeh -- you make me feel giddy, and I love your name! :)

[Shabeeh Haider]

so sweet, thank you. My name means "image"....as for the rhyming pattern, Its worth a try

[Sammi]

I just posted mine called The Bus Ride, hope you like it with my special touch! ;)

[Raylene]

I love the rhythm in this and the story in it very well done the last line just gripped my heart I felt the emotional rollercoaster in this piece well done

[Shabeeh Haider]

Raylene, thank you for your kind words

[Raylene]

My pleasure

[Miss Sharon]

Now THIS is what I call poetry! Beautifully written with impecable rhyme, meter and style. And of course the marvelous content speaks for itself. Brava! ~Sharon

[Shabeeh Haider]

Awww, Sharon, You made my day. Thank you

[Miss Sharon]

I only say it like I see it! Love your poetry. ~Sharon

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

I read a straight flow of honest emotion in this poesy, that I liked.
The "stretched out your soul," line was my fave! Tyfs!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Cyprian, thank you for your kind review

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

You're most welcome!

[Lydia Shutter]

Unrequited love.....never easy. When the one you love belongs to another, you can only have one another in fantasies. The emotions are real and heartfelt throughout this well written poem. Lydi**

[Shabeeh Haider]

Lydi, thank you for your kind review

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

Heart-touching words there in the end. Feelings of sadness and affection are brought out clearly. When your beloved stays- or is caused to stay- away from you, such pain, such grief is inevitable. The immensely complicated feeling of love is beautiful, yet there is always some room for sadness. There are ups and downs, but, "All's Well That Ends Well", isn't it?
Lovely piece. Keep writing.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Vatsal, thank you for your review

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, yes, the one who got away and is with someone else...i know that feeling---she was the one---and experience since then has shown me that---

but "what if's" can last forever...we just have to try to move on.

really like the expressiveness of this.

j.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you, Jacob

[stargirl23]

I loved this as always!! though I don't think you need the question mark in the final line.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you Adi, and yes the question mark was not needed

[Bear]

Bravo! Very nice rhyme scheme, good emotional depth and an ending that haunts with a truth everyone who has ever experienced loved will relate with. I give it five out of five Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Bear, thank you for your very generous words