Today's Forecast is Cloudy with a Slight Chance of Pain

A "If only I knew then what I know now" poem. Some stuff happened today that I just... I need to cope in my own way and this is how I do it. :) I am fine, though. Still loving life!

Shrooms and coke (not the drink),
Beer and 'smokes' (more than you think)
Litter your room.
A coat to plug your door,
That way no odor escapes.
Marijuana and pot (not the kind for storage).
This is way too much knowledge
For a ten year old to handle.
Illegal drugs of every kind
Poisoning my innocent mind.
"Don't ever do this,"
You say and relax.
"Don't do this. Not at fourteen.
Not like me. Don't do this."
You take out a smoke,
You light it ablaze
And fall into a divine daze.

That was five years ago.

I remember to this day.
To this day I remember what that did to you.
Today I remember what you did to me.
Today I know why you said that.
Today I know why I should have said that.
Today,
Today,
Today.
Today, I know it is all over for you.

This is today.

Drunken and dazed (in your trace),
Picked up by police (just by chance).
Out of state,
Out of your mind,
High off of drugs,
High off of every pain combined.
Shipped back to home,
You were mad, crazy, insane (or so they say).
I will never forget this day.
You lost your temper, lost the fight,
You lost sight of what was right.
Like a small gust of wind gaining momentum,
You gained that power,
That will,
That burning desire,
You picked up a spark and lit a town on fire.
My town.
My people.

This is today.

Your one choice,
Your one move,
Your one decision
Affected me,
Will forever change me.
You,
Your,
You,
Your.
It is about you.

Well, others may institutionalize you,
Well, others may call you crazy,
Well, others may mistreat you,
Well, others may have deserted you,
I cannot help but think,
"Does she remember me?
Is she thinking of me?
Will she? Will she? Will she?"
I hope you do.

I love you.

Author's Note

Would this be good as like Spoken Word Poetry? Or.. I dunno.. something? I wanna get into it and this was not written to be a poem for that, but strong strong emotions that have been building for five long years are behind it and it has some rhythm. I dunno. :) Just wondering.