Promises Made

He said thank you I promise I won't fail 
She believed him as he wove his tail 
He said I love you and I always will 
Though she shouldn't she believed him still 

She believed the touch of his hand on her waist 
She believed the tracks of tears on his face 
He'd never hit her before it was true 
She thought that something He'd never do 

But he'd come home from work angry and riled 
Mean as a snake acting like a spoiled child 
The dinner she fixed him was far from right 
It seemed to her all he wanted to do was fight 

She tried to calm him the best she could 
He wouldn't listen and it did no good 
In fact it seemed to make things worse 
He got in her face he screamed and he cursed 

He said you don't love me I see that now 
You are probably cheating on me anyhow 
She swore she loved him swore it was true 
 cheat on him she'd certainly could never do 

But now it was over he held her to him so close 
He whispered again and again I love you the most 
She believed him her head on his shoulder 
She smiled as his hands grew more bolder 

They made love that night he held her tight 
He promised her they would never again fight 
She burrowed closed she loved his touch 
In her heart she loved him loved him so much 

Her marriage was happy for a long time then 
She knew the sorrow has for sure had come to an end 
But one day work did not go the way he planned 
He came home a wild and a very angry man 

He screamed at her the way he had before 
He hit her and knocked her into a door 
As she lay there she feared for her life 
There in his hand she saw gleaming a knife 

She begged him please please don't do it 
But once more he raised his fist and hit 
It hurt so bad she could only scream 
She had never thought he could be so mean 

He raised the knife he brought it down 
Her life it shattered the pieces all around 
He brought the knife down he drove it in deep 
She felt deaths coldness over her sweep 

And as her blood flowed covered the floor 
She thought of all that had gone on before 
Again she heard him say I love you 
I'll never hurt you...

Reviews

[Elmarie]

This is a profoundly real poem. Domestic violence has become a major topic in the Australian news in the last year. The statistics are shocking. You are a great wordsmith and I pray this is not first hand experience. I have made some Editing suggestions, people read things differently and to me it would read smoother this way. Yet every poet has artistic licence and it's all up to you. I love your passion and will read more of your writing :) El

He said thank you I promise I won't fail
She believed him as he wove his tail (this should be tale)
He said I love you and I always will
Though she shouldn't she believed him still

She believed the touch of his hand on her waist
She believed the tracks of tears on his face
He'd never hit her before it was true
She thought that something He'd never do (maybe: that's)

But he'd come home from work angry and riled
Mean as a snake acting like a spoiled child
The dinner she fixed him was far from right
It seemed to her all he wanted to do was fight (maybe: ......all he wanted was a fight)

She tried to calm him the best she could
He wouldn't listen and it did no good
In fact it seemed to make things worse
He got in her face he screamed and he cursed (maybe: .......screamed and cursed)

He said you don't love me I see that now
You are probably cheating on me anyhow
She swore she loved him swore it was true
cheat on him she'd certainly could never do (capital C for cheat)

But now it was over he held her to him so close (maybe:........ he held her so close)
He whispered again and again I love you the most
She believed him her head on his shoulder
She smiled as his hands grew more bolder

They made love that night he held her tight
He promised her they would never again fight (He promised again they would never fight)
She burrowed closed she loved his touch (She burrowed in close.....)
In her heart she loved him loved him so much

Her marriage was happy for a long time then
She knew the sorrow has for sure had come to an end (She knew for sure the sorrow had come to an end)
But one day work did not go the way he planned
He came home a wild and a very angry man

He screamed at her the way he had before
He hit her and knocked her into a door
As she lay there she feared for her life
There in his hand she saw gleaming a knife (maybe: .............saw a gleaming knife)

She begged him please please don't do it (maybe: comma after the first please)
But once more he raised his fist and hit
It hurt so bad she could only scream
She had never thought he could be so mean

He raised the knife he brought it down
Her life it shattered the pieces all around (Her life it shattered to pieces all around)
He brought the knife down he drove it in deep
She felt deaths coldness over her sweep

And as her blood flowed covered the floor (And as her blood flow covered the floor)
She thought of all that had gone on before (She thought of all that has gone before)
Again she heard him say I love you
I'll never hurt you...