The Setting Sun: Two Silhouettes

We have felt the power,
in all portrayed as weak. 
We have felt the sorrow, 
in what is remembered with a smile. 
We have felt difference, 

in all that remained the same. 
We have felt the absence,
among all that lays its claim.  

We have seen the clouds water,
turned to the foundation of solid structures. 
We have seen the end,
in all that was beginning. 
We have understood great character,  
in all that never was.  
 Yes we have seen great memories, 
as the mind glorifies the blur. 

Thank you for the moment, 
although the moments nearly gone. 
I do not await tomorrow,
for tomorrow was yesterdays song. 
Together we have chatted,  
although we have stood alone. 
Thank you for the moment,
Although the moments nearly gone. 

Reviews

[Julie Spade]

As I read your piece, i have this sense of rush which is a good thing because it shows how important it is to read between the lines! The overall flow is pretty good, having a rhyme scheme and all. The images within my head are in different forms as I read each sentence . Thank You so much for the request!

[Vidya Bacchus]

We must appreciate all the wonders around us and not take them for granted.Great point my friend.

[m.s.early]

The narrator encourages us to appreciate the day in its day. It is also a lesson that we find that which we seek. There is a bright path in the darkest corridors, but we must be willing to allow our perception to focus on it.

Motivational. Encouraging.

[M. L. Zane]

Though the message is interesting, it might do you good to reference the "setting sun" in a more literal sense. You make numerous references in this to everything but the title itself, and the title needs to reflect fully what is in the piece. If you don't add a "setting sun" along with the other imagery, I recommend simply calling this "Two Silhouettes". It is a small detail, but an important one.

You also have a slight space typo in "Yes we have seen great memories" where the 'Y' should line up with the previous line. It doesn't quite line up, and you likely bumped the space bar by mistake. Easy fix, though I hate using "line" so often in a review. Otherwise, this is decent. I'll get through the long list of read requests soon.

Regards,
-M.L. Zane

[paras]

that's such a great work i especially liked "Thank you for the moment,
Although the moments nearly gone. " as its like a person only remembers value of something after its gone or over :) keep up the good work

[Desiree]

This is desperate in an underlying way, like time is slipping thus "sunset" and that two may have stood and seen together, it may pass with yesterday. Very Very Very wonderful in all it's words and feeling. Thanks for another beautiful poem. You, have such a gift.

[Light]

A nice tribute to people who created memories though it didn't last longer...because there's always an end to everything.
This is insightful. Thanks for sharing.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

Very profound write......and also beautiful!
I really enjoyed it!
Great write again dear friend! :)

[Sami Khalil]

"Yes we have seen great memories,
as the mind glorifies the blur.

Thank you for the moment,
although the moments nearly gone.
I do not await tomorrow,"