Within Breath

You are the most peaceful child 
I have ever seen;
You lay there eyes shut
with your mothers nose.
One hand under the blanket,
The other placed above;
Your fathers piano fingers 
replicated to the curve. 

You are two and my mind fills; 
I can see you kicking a football to me. 
You'll fall to your knees, 
but rise up on my shoulders 
to cheer and applause. 
We'll trod through the hall way with stories, 
to the judgmental eye and the smile of a mother. 

You are not here but here with me always, 
For letters in stone do not mark memories absent. 
You are on my mind more than you ever would have been. 
My comfort in times of despair, 
and so I realize; 
You are not here but here with me always.

Reviews

[I Am Svetlana]

This has such powerful descriptions and images in it :) I love how you convey the scene in the first stanza, helping us get a better picture of the baby's particular traits that it has inherited from each parent. Then you picture the future and what you could see yourself doing with that child of yours, then the last stanza could be when the particular child passes away someday. And though they may be physically gone, they are always watching over us and in our hearts. Beautiful!

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

Thank you!

[Michelle N. H.]

Standing, just watching and imagining a future that could've been. I was brought back for a while, to a similar scene in my life. It's melancholic, poignant and very well written.

[ZeniaK]

Awwww I loved this! So sweet and tender in the beginning with undeniable sadness towards the end. The flow was great and was so gentle, yet powerful throughout with the amount of meaning and emotion you weaved into this.

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

Thank you !

[Baby Ricochet]

A lovely ode to father hood.

[Lyn Anderson]

this is beautiful. A powerful, emotional piece about love and loss.

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

thank you!

[Raymond Federle]

Very well done. Touching at deep emotional levels. :)

[Daffy]

Wonderful words, again, and an expression of feelings that I can relate to. Extremely well expressed, Shane.

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

This has an emotional quality to it, that's obvious reaching, and touching your readers.
What I feel, through this poem is much an unborn twins maybe? a mother, a sister? I feel lost, I feel dead, I feel sorrow, pain, and mourning, true feelings, you share in poetic letters. Shane you just have a gift, with words. A fantastic but heart wrenching piece.

- Elisa

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

Thank you Elisa! So shines a good deed in a weary world!

[Yellow Butterfly]

Such a poignant poem written about the loss of a loved one... gone but never forgotten..

I feel your pain throughout...

Beautifully penned...

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

Thank you, I tried to convey my simplest emotional state.

[Yellow Butterfly]

It came across very clearly...

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

Thank you my friend.

[Yellow Butterfly]

Your welcome my friend :)