The Wanderer

Sun sets,

settles beneath

somber hills

An old man walks.

Cane in hand

trudging on

step by onerous step

An old man walks.

Leaves crushed

by tired feet

turning to dust

An old man walks.

Branches as bones

body of leaves

rustling in the wind

An old man walks.

Wind grows stronger

harsh gusts

across his fragile frame

He blows away.

Author's Note

Reviews?

Reviews

[SamanthaDanielle]

You are so talented. Another excellent one and I loved the repetition!

[Cole Hayley]

Another powerhouse little poem from you. Its becoming a habbit isnt it? You have such a way with words its inspiring.

[SheActsLikeSummer]

Oh, thanks so much. This means a lot to me. I teally appreciate it.

[SheActsLikeSummer]

*really. :)

[G!o]

this is wonderful with the great imagery. I adore the increase of depth as we go down the stanzas. Great writing.

[SheActsLikeSummer]

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Lily Mae]

This is so melancholy and yet beautiful.. It reminds me of when my Father found out he was dying.. He went for his daily walk and would always look at me and say "Dead man walking".... it was sad and yet he was trying to be funny.. so this reminds me so much of him.. Wonderful write...for sure..x

[SheActsLikeSummer]

I'm so sorry for you're loss. I'm really glad you like it. Thanks so much for the read.

[Leslie Philibert]

I like the strong imagery here, and the way you use the present tense in the last line, this makes the poem very immediate, you shift the balance of the poem to a direct observer , which I think you did very well, good write.

[SheActsLikeSummer]

Oh, thank you! :)

[BLBrown]

Good poem. I like how it started out almost soft, then grew stronger. There is tenacity here, and foreshadowing with the reference to dust. The words really fit well together, dare I say, flow well. I think you might only want to think about the last line. It is not of the same feeling to me. I think the repetition makes the poem more powerful, easier to envision, so maybe you could carry that through to the last line, like "an old man flies" or something like that to represent his death. Just a thought! Great job.

[SheActsLikeSummer]

I'm glad, thanks so much. I was going to say "An old man blows away" but I thought it kind of messed with the flow. "An old man flies" gives me a different image as to what I wanted the poem to portray. I think I'll keep it the same way but I really appreciate the thought. :)

[BLBrown]

Always the core meaning is the responsibility of the writer and they must stand by that...be protective of it despite reviews - reviewers can only try to understand and give their best feedback. It is a lovely poem and you should be proud.

[SheActsLikeSummer]

Thanks so much, I really appreciate it.

[Aehr]

i loved this one. kinda spooky, really nice!

[SheActsLikeSummer]

Thanks so much. I really appreciate it.

[Aehr]

you are very welcome! i really loved this one... did i forget to shelve it? silly me!