FRACTURED

FRACTURED

A Poem by TerryDarcy-Ryan akaSheerTerror
"

" retrospective whiplash "

"








still glimpses smile for a picture     

the cast off shattered glass

reflect the past through a mirror

retrospective whiplash

fooled is ours to hold dear

big soft pillows suffocate the scream

for a loyal kiss of fate

we engage in a wicked promise to endure

rise and fall for order

another day to shovel deeper

obligated we bury the anger

while intent on fracture

break by break

a snap a split a sever

the mind coming undone

the sound of unwinding gears

we are smothering under the surface

to the rattle of danger

adrenaline spiked for peril

we move with the crowd shoulder to shoulder

a herd enthralled to a jagged drag

a bump a push a nudge

the catch of a hand

our urge to push back

pressed against furies threshold

the hinges give to the fractured door

a single shot an uproar

rage fuels the press behind a shove

the next thrust smashes through fear

pressing hard for something perfect and clear

affliction outweighs the contender

a shove a drive a force

impulses so pure resurrecting the core

no longer willing to crawl the shore

lost in hazards trap and snare

everyday we meet solace and demise

we answer side by side

with a smile and a lie

the threat builds inside

a knock a pound a bang

a panel of wood

complete this box

hard hit pieces of metal

bullet and fasten

the perfect tool for this turning grace

much like the boxer uses embrace

we take our place



  Terry D’Arcy-Ryan






      



                           











© 2017 TerryDarcy-Ryan akaSheerTerror



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Reviews

"still glimpses smile for a picture
the cast off shattered glass
reflect the past through a mirror
retrospective whiplash
fooled is ours to hold dear" - I really enjoy the flow here, it is a piece that, so far, has really made me think. The only thing I would ask you to consider is the formatting. The capitalization within poetry effects how your audience reads it, but seeing as there is no punctuation in this piece, I would almost wonder if your lack-thereof is intentional; which is mostly an observational question I would have about the piece. :)

"big soft pillows suffocate the scream
for a loyal kiss of fate" - I thought about these lines for quite some time and still cannot fathom what they are alluding to. I may lack the interpretive skill to decipher it.

"another day to shovel deeper
obligated we bury the anger
while intent on fracture
break by break
a snap a split a sever
the mind coming undone
the sound of unwinding gears" - These lines really resonated with me. I love the imagery you've created. It's all very relatable.

"we move with the crowd shoulder to shoulder
a herd enthralled to a jagged drag" - I like the way this reads out loud. It flows very well.

"lost in hazards trap and snare
everyday we meet solace and demise
we answer side by side
with a smile and a lie
the threat builds inside
a knock a pound a bang
a panel of wood
complete this box " - I love the 'smile and a lie' bit. It was very well constructed and I was able to envision this whole bit very well.

"bullet and fasten
the perfect tool for this turning grace
much like the boxer uses embrace
we take our place " - I'm not personally a huge fan of rhyming in poetry, and felt that the end of this was a little abrupt.

Overall, I think you have a very solid piece here. I really enjoyed reading it and all of the things it implied or alluded to. It was fun to formulate different interpretations for it. Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work!

-Rynn

Posted 5 Days Ago


TerryDarcy-Ryan   akaSheerTerror

4 Days Ago

Rynn, the use of capitalization and punctuation in poetry is not clear to me. I appreciate the inp.. read more
Rynn

4 Days Ago

I appreciate you taking the time to talk about your work, it gives the piece a new dimension.
This is just amazing, mate. Your depth astounds me. :D

Posted 1 Week Ago


TerryDarcy-Ryan   akaSheerTerror

1 Week Ago

Raven Moonchild, I appreciate such and amazing review you Rock!!

Sheer Terror
Raven Moonchild

6 Days Ago

Nah, you rock, dude!!! :D
we never know who we're standing beside as we go about nor do we know what anger and motives lie within them which could explode anytime. never quite knowing when the seeds of such acts were planted. the short lines very effective. love the selection of pics as usual. great title.

Posted 1 Week Ago


TerryDarcy-Ryan   akaSheerTerror

1 Week Ago

Pete, I am always happy to receive your review. I changed the pics a little hope they still hit. I.. read more
Living while reflecting on a past one hated, feeling you don't belong, don't fit in and suppressing the anger as you just get on with life but you are only just holding on and feel like you are going mad. The whole piece is wonderfully descriptive and the final lines just brilliant. A boxer hanging on to avoid the punches.

Posted 1 Week Ago


TerryDarcy-Ryan   akaSheerTerror

1 Week Ago

John, thank you so much for the outstanding review.

Sheer Terror
I'm highly impressed with the way this flows. I'm three Scotch in, so will offer better insight, tomorrow. Gahd, this is good, though.

Posted 1 Week Ago


TerryDarcy-Ryan   akaSheerTerror

1 Week Ago

Wow, what a great review I felt this one to the bone. Thank you

Sheer Terror
i guess some of these things start as a child,our inner thoughts,our fears that we hide,our true feelings that some hide,,loved the write and images

Posted 1 Week Ago


0 of 2 people found this review constructive.

TerryDarcy-Ryan   akaSheerTerror

1 Week Ago

Wordman, you relate so well to this thank you for taking the time to read and review. You Rock!!read more
 wordman

1 Week Ago

you know that you`re welcome
Your writing is very disciplined in structure and it makes sense. I can respect that no matter what you're trying to convey intellectually.

You're a very solid writer.

Posted 1 Week Ago


TerryDarcy-Ryan   akaSheerTerror

1 Week Ago

Dave, wow what a great review thank you.

Sheer Terror
I can relate to this on so many levels.
Feeling alone in a crowd, hiding your true self until it rots. A true insight of our inner psycho.
So beautifully written, great use of the words and descriptions that make you feel like if you are there, keeps you in tension until the very end
Congratulations.


Posted 1 Week Ago


TerryDarcy-Ryan   akaSheerTerror

1 Week Ago

Toxic Angel, it is a great thing when someone relates to what you write. We are condition at a youn.. read more

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8 Reviews
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Added on December 4, 2017
Last Updated on December 5, 2017

Author

TerryDarcy-Ryan   akaSheerTerror
TerryDarcy-Ryan akaSheerTerror

PHOENIX, AZ



About
When I was a young girl I was your average Tomboy. I lived to watch Star Trek the only thing that could take me away from the voyages of the Star Ship Enterprise was playing Baseball with the boys. .. more..

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