Not Eternity

My First Song!

Verse 1:

Tourcher my soul with words of love

I want so much not to hear

Make my heart race and hide

With sweet nothings whispered in my ear

 

I know you think what you feel is right

But I've got to tell you it's wrong

I don't want you for forever

Just want a night of passion strong

 

Chorus:

So don't get attached

Don't open your heart to bleed

'Cause you'll never find love so true

Waisting your love on me

Don't make more out of this

Than it was meant to be

This is just one night of bliss

It's not--- eternity

 

Verse 2:

I thought you might have been my type

How could I have been so wrong?

It was only meant to be a good time

Now you seem to think you belong

 

'Cause when you wrapped your arms around me

You seemed to want to stay

And that type of thinking confounds me

'Cause my heart don't work that way

 

Chorus:

So don't get attached

Don't open your heart to bleed

'Cause you'll never find love so true

Waisting your love on me

Don't make more out of this

Than it was meant to be

This is only one of night bliss

It's not--- eternity

 

Hook:

I've never been one

To do more than a one night stand

My heart can't feel

What someone else demands

I've never been one

Who could give more than I could take

So if you're lookin for someone

Don't try me, I'm a mistake

 

Chorus:

So don't get attached

Don't open your heart to bleed

'Cause you'll never find love so true

Waisting your love on me

Don't make more out of this

Than it was meant to be

This is just one night of bliss

It's not--- eternity

 

No it's not--- eternity

Remember it's not--- eternity...

 

 

4-16-08 12:00 P.M. Frances L. Phillips

 

Author's Note

This is my first song and until my resident lyrics expert gets a hold of it it will not be opened for rating but I wanted to get some feedback.... let me know how it is for a first song and how I could make it better... and since I have a tune in my head but can't share it with you make a tune that would you think would work for it and go with that lol...

P.S. the lyrics guru has approved its opening for ratings so here it goes.... rate away but let me know what you rate it and why please... thanks!

Reviews

[bellamarcella]

I really enjoyed this, it is something everyone can relate to on either side of it. Everything was well versed and even though no one knows exactly what tune you used, the words speak for themselves and a tune is easy to imagine. Well done! Thanx for the great piece. I gave you an 85 for the creativity and point of view.

[Brianna Brie]

Hook:
I've never been one
To do more than a one night stand
My heart can't feel
What someone else demands
I've never been one
Who could give more than I could take
So if you're lookin for someone
Don't try me, I'm a mistake

Chorus:
So don't get attached
Don't open your heart to bleed
'Cause you'll never find love so true
Waisting your love on me
Don't make more out of this
Than it was meant to be
This is just one night of bliss
It's not--- eternity

Wow this piece hits home. It is raw and honest, and I think people are going to be able to feel the music and relate...sad. Really can't comment on making a song better, because I don't know much about that. On heart and soul alone I would give this a high rating. Loved the 2 verses copied.

[Adam Jordan Turner]

Very nice Frances. I have not one complaint about this piece whatsoever. It was very nice and also a complete 180 for your writing. You never take this angle at things. You are usually writing as the one who does not want to be hurt instead of fearing being the one who will hurt. I really like the tough side you've displayed to your creativity. It's very spicy, very much the words of a true siren. Open it up for ratings, it will do you well. I think people will like the approach, the clever rhymes, the youth, the freedom, and the bravery all present in this piece. I'd love to hear your working melody!