Lies

 

will watch those lies slid off your  tongue like turpentine but don't think you're getting away with them

I might just be remembering them and waiting for the day to drop the bomb

 

Author's Note

Just something small

Reviews

[biggle]

i read this, because you have the same photo i have for a picture. and i laughed, i like this though.

[Taymour]

''Fact is, all lies, all evil deeds, they stink. You can cover them up for a while, but they don't go away''

[Huggy Bear]

I like it. It is a great piece

[Matt]

whoa.. id hate to think ppl can see right through me..
great write. short, straight to the point.

[Charles]

A small bomb is still a bomb - don't hold it in... Edit: change 'slid' to 'slide.' Christopher Todd's suggestion is worth thinking about, but ultimately it is your poem and there's nothing wrong with the format you used - less conventional that a 'rant' but, hey, you're ready to drop a bomb so why be conventional?

[Ken Gervais]

Good one! It's almost as though you slipped into someone's mind and revealed how they think they got away with. Sometimes good things, like poetry comes in small packages. Nice job, very well done.

I bloody love this. it's like how people think they're really getting away with something because you don't say anything about it, and so they keep right at it. revenge, I suppose. it's all going to catch up with you in the end.

"will watch those lies slid off your tongue..." Just forgot the "e" at the end of "slid".

Otherwise, I'd say not to change a thing.

[Christopher Todd Dallas]

Try this. Think of line breaks as pauses, minimalism, and reducing the verbose.
This style is usually labeled as a "rant."
And generally, if the rant is creative and fluid, then people love them.
The reader's response, if the writer is successful, is, "Yeah. Shove that down'his throat!"

I see lies
slide off your tongue
like
turpentine
and
don't think they go unnoticed
and
remember
I'm waiting
for that day
to drop
the bomb
and
maybe,
the kitchen sink too

[MeiAngelus]

I like it... but to keep your emphasis on the word them, I don't think you should repeat it in the last line. Other than that, a tiny beauty. It makes me think of karma and her vengeful wrath. Liars always get caught in the end.

[Sheila Kline]

Those lies do have a way of catching up with us!!
Well said in few words!