Similarities part 1

Chapter 60

Similarities

Part 1

Unlike Kelly, when Danny arrived. He wasn’t brought in by handcuffs nor was he disrespectful at first. In some way’s it was a breath of fresh air. Well briefly anyway until you got up close realizing in retrospect’s he smelled of cigarettes and really bad BO that made your nose itch not to get to close. Personally, I thought I had smelled worse after being in the hot box after week, but Danny made it smell like a vase full roses. Our introductions were brief while Dad quickly opened a window.  Stating the fact the house felt stuffy to our new caseworker reaching number 8 on the list of many that aren’t worth describing.

Dad had like before had gone over the do’s and don’ts when it came to the introductions which we made quickly and left just as quickly, most of it was because of the smell. That was getting more pungent the longer it sat on Moms fine leather couch. It didn’t take long for Dad and Mom to get right down to business, showing Danny his room down in the basement which he and Shane had been working on and haven’t quite finished. Dad had decided since there wasn’t a chance that I was ever going to be able to join the boys downstairs, due to my night terrors and my fear of basements. It was best to divided Arthur’s room into three rooms, instead of making it big enough for three people.

Yet once more everyone would be playing musical chairs. Mom and Dad didn’t trust Shawn and felt it would be better to have Shawn have a room all by himself, the smallest of the three rooms, but it would be all his own. Arthur to would have his own room which would be when finished the same size as Danny’s new room, but for now, he would share it with Arthur. Mom and Dad were prepared for anything when came to entering their “retraining program” and Danny was no different. It was the second the caseworker left when like always the games to begin.

Mom and Dad had prepared ahead of time, having us quickly set up the extra bed they had purchased to become Jason’s new bed, once Arthur’s and Danny’s room was finished into the baby’s room. Moving the baby into Jody’s room since Kerry had moved out to attend Brigham Young University or simply stated BYU and would only come home for Sunday dinners or during school breaks in the terms.

Dad had added locks on the door and a very thick and heavy door that would be able to hold a wild best inside and sound, and shatterproof window sealed shut. It was intended that it would be my room when it came for Shane to go on a mission. Hoping by then my night terrors would become a thing of the past or rarity. With Kerry gone the house seemed empty, but her big bed didn’t go to waste.

Simply put it became mine and Shane’s to give us more room, in our room and for our growing bodies. Some people would think it wrong for two guys sharing the same bed, even more so not being blood-related or even think we were gay. In any case, they would be wrong. Neither were we gay, but we were brothers in our hearts and in our minds. Even God would say so or beg to differ.

I tell you just because you don’t have the same genes or blood doesn’t mean they can not be your family and I have had many over the past few years. I love them all the same and would fight and walk through fire for them a hundred times if it came to prove that they were my brothers and sisters and parents, I would do so. Well except my sisters Susan and Becky, even more so my father, and that particular time my mother. (Yes she had a change of heart and I will get to that soon.)

Our caseworker didn’t stay long, just long enough to do the paperwork and take the grand tour. Mostly likely the smell of Danny hurried her along so she could fumigate her car; again. No foster kid was allowed a suitcase or any personal items. Unless cleared by Mom or Dad. Personally, I think they did it for two reasons. One: not having to search for clothing for drugs and hidden weapons. Second: most of the boys they have taken in rarely have good clothing or they smelled of cigarettes which never came out of clothing.

Even though Danny wasn’t as wild as Kelly it doesn’t mean he didn’t experience the same treatment upon arrival. Age had nothing to do with it when you’re a foster kid in the Rothwell home. Mom and Dad still required a strip search and most importantly a bath. All I can say is he might as well get used to it when you live with a whole house full boys. Modesty or privacy does not exist here, he was lucky he didn’t get hosed down outside in chains and handcuffs.

Mom and Dad gave him his first lesson when it came to modesty second he came out of his room naked as the day he was born. With fresh red hand marks across his face and butt; while Dad prodded him towards the backdoor, the long way out through the garage so he could parade him through the house having everyone see him, including Jody. Danny tried to cover up the second he noticed her and everyone in the family room, earning him a slap across the butt.

Dad growled for him to turn around slowly with his hands to his sides daring him if he moved them the consequences would only get worse. Dad made Jody takes a good look or she to would suffer his wrath. Besides, it wasn’t big deal to the rest of us boys and Jody consider she’d bathed most of us several times or seen all there was to see with how often Dad inflected this type of punishment or not. Yes might be called criminal now, but there wasn’t a thing anyone could say or do about it. To everyone else, she was your sister and I had lost count how many times Dad inflicted this punishment over the years.

When Dad was satisfied he made Danny open the back door, Shawn made the mistake of saying, mule boy. Dad halting slammed the door shut pushing Danny against the wall. Dad yelled “Shawn we do not use that word in this house. You just earned yourself a full day in the raw starting now.”

Shawn didn’t move, instead backed away to run which was a big mistake. Shane had closed off his escape as Dad reached out and grabbed Shawn by the shirt and ordering Shane to hold Shawn down. Danny tried to make a break for it, but Dad was quick and slammed him hard against the wall.

Thanks to Shane, Shawn was stripped down to his socks and boxers. His shirt ruined being ripped into shreds by Dads own hands. Dad ordered Shawn to strip or he would make Shane do it for him. And to think it wasn’t that long ago when I had a problem when came to modesty and now I could run around with Dad and my brothers without a single stitch or care or a blush and quite comfortable being in my own skin even with three women in the house, being naked in front of them was not a big deal.

I couldn’t figure out why Shawn, Arthur, and Kelly had such a problem with it when you had been practically raised this way, and now Danny. It also stated there was more going on down in that basement and Dad had nothing to do with it and I knew from experience it had to do with sexual abuse. But Mom and Dad didn’t want to believe that it was happening under their own roof or the fact that Shawn was the ring leader.

Unlike like me, Shane, and my two younger brothers Jared and Jason, this would be not a big deal. Even my best friends liked our carefree lifestyle, and their parents approved of it stated if their boys felt comfortable about it and weren’t anything sexual going on, they were more than fine with it, to the point we would go skinny dipping as families and close friends, but the moment it became sexual then Huston we have a problem, but at this particular time it was just a guy thing, but we had been discussing about letting the female verity join us, We hadn’t found a way to break the ice, but at least we were talking about it and making it so when it did happen that it too would be not a big deal and we all knew in great detail about the birds and the bees and how and what sex was.

Considering at the time there was an outbreak of pornography and child sex rings being exposed over the news and everywhere we looked; parents were trying to find a way to protect their children. Psychologist, doctors, and religions where discussing the best way to immune their children.  Dad and Mom had fasted and prayed and had gone to the temple on numerous occasions for a solution. And felt good about the decision of desensitizing their children, by exposing them early on, by making it not a big deal when came to seeing someone else’s body, but instead adding Christ teaching that everyone one is one of gods children and this was just a fact of life, not a sexual tool to be abused, but a beautiful way to share one's self.

Maybe the nudist colony had it right considering they feel the same way as the Rothwell’s, and you seldom if at all find any sexual abuse going on in their mist and there they were hung out to dry or run out on a rail. Many times Mom and Dad read to and wrote to them discussing the problem and the answer was they became closer to God and closer to nature and most of all closer as a family. With that being said that was exactly what Mom and Dad were trying to accomplish. Plus hoping to stop other boys like Kelly, Arthur, James, and Danny from going to already full prison, giving them the opportunity to change their lives before it was too late.

Dad was beyond angry and an episode was getting closer by the minute. Dad took one look at me watching me breathing hard and repeating my safe words. But it was too late the room was in total panic. I screamed seeing my father standing in the room beating Aaron. The light bulb flickered above him as I yelled at him to stop. Something grabbed me and held me down when I looked I was staked to the ground. My father laughed and came closer and smiled lifting me by the chin. I stopped screaming and stared him right in the eyes and spit in his face. I was terrified, but I had beaten this monster in my dreams several times. Sometimes he’d win and other times I’d win. I knew how to defend myself and to remind myself of it.

In my mind, I was working through my scenarios slipping easily through the ropes that were tied behind me relaxing my body and slowly untied the knots and slipped the rope off the stake. Without warning my father, I slowly lifted my knees and kneed him in the groin, giving me a chance to roll away so I could untie my feet. I roared like a tiger flexing my leg muscles and flipped me to my feet; digging my toes into the dirt. I was begging my father to come near me; I could hear someone behind me, most likely my mother.

I dropped into a sit spin swept her legs from underneath her. Corkscrewed up and using my right hand gave a punch to the chest watching my father back away surprised gasping for air.  My mother grabbed me from behind; I roared spinning into her grabbed her wrist using my momentum and lowered my head and shoulders into the perfect sweet spot and dove letting my body dive and lower just enough to feel her lift and roll across my back and spun in time raising my arm blocking a punch from my father. My mother growled and I smiled seeing my father dive to tackle me to the ground. I jumped back and somersaulted across him seeing him slid underneath me while I landed on the balls of my feet. I was about to turn when the light went out leaving me in total darkness.

I closed my eyes focusing on the sounds around me. My brother was crying, my parents breathing hard a few feet from me but getting closer. I dug my toes into the dirt making a complete circle and prepared myself. Dad and I had practiced these hundred times blindfolded, using only my senses to tell me where my enemy was.  I could feel the rough tears in my boxers and the heat of my skin as I took slow even breaths. Repeating over and over my safe words; letting my hands and arms flow into patterns to give me focus my bare feet testing, digging the hard circle knowing the second anyone crosses the line I would strike quickly and it be their mistake.

I waited as my arms and hand flowed from one pattern to the next like a dancer. I breathed slowly calming my heart rate. I sensed someone getting closes, something big. Their rough breath as I waited, I dared them to get closer. Something sharp stung right in the middle of my back. I turned feeling dizzy and feeling my body beginning to fall. My mind felt cloudy, I knew I didn’t have much time before I would. I had time for one last strike a fake knee drop sweep.

I pretended that tranquilizer was working and drop to my right knee; then sprang back kicking my left leg back behind me, rolled upwards into half bounce. Twirled into a half corkscrew and used my hands into windmill strike. Something struck my arm only to fall to the ground. I turned into half cartwheel feeling my legs almost near to collapsing. I struck out only finding air and dove for the ground. By then it was too late feeling the second sting hitting the back of my legs. My biggest mistake was I had calmed down too much slowing my heart rate and released the pent up energy.

When I woke I was in bed strapped down with Mom sitting near my bed watching Shawn and Danny running laps out in the field. Mom was holding the forth tranquilizer in her hand. In case I hadn’t come out of the episode. I knew I couldn’t move but it didn’t stop me from trying. Mom heard me was about to knock me out again. When I stopped and gave her my full attention repeating my safe words while I answered each of her questions correctly.

When it was done she surprised me by slapping my face; yelling at me for not controlling the episode from happening in the first place. I knew I deserved it and many more like it. I told her I was sorry and would do better. She nodded stating Dad was trying to decide if I too needed to run laps or spend a full day in the hothouse or both.

I winced feeling the bruises that hadn’t quite formed and thought about my actions. I also knew it was 100 degrees or hotter in the hothouse considering summer had just begun. Mom didn’t bother to untie me instead left me to think about my actions when she opened the door.

I called her back stating. I would run the laps with the rest of them if Dad still felt the same I would spend a day in there and miss supper as well. Mom nodded came over and released me. I stripped off my boxers and shorts leaving them on my bed as went out and joined the boys. Jody smiled, but didn’t say anything; Shane was outside with ice bags where I must have punched him in the face and wiping the blood from his nose and lip. I said I was sorry and began my run catching up with Dad, Shawn, and Danny.

Dad didn’t break stride when he noticed me and kept everyone running. Dad said 10 laps I said 15 or 20. He too was favoring injuries I had given him; I felt I had earned every one of those laps. When we had made a full circle, he told Shawn, Danny and I that I was in charge and if they didn’t obey or think about going easy just because it was me in charge. Took his belt and smacked them hard on the butt, handing me the belt.

Dad knew I feared and hated the belt, but he also knew I had earned some payback when it came to Shawn. Shawn had the nerve to growl at me and stopped running and was walking back to the house seeing Dad had walked back into the house after another lap. It was Shane that stopped him holding him, ordering me to do what Dad said.  I feared Dad. I also knew if I didn’t I’d be the one getting the beating, but I couldn’t do it. Every time I tried to in the past and Shawn knew it. I thought I was beating my brother Aaron, and I refused to become the abuser. Instead, I threw down the belt at Shawn’s feet and telling Shane and Shawn that I refuse to become anything like my father.

I turned and took my place with Danny; in the background, I could hear Shawn screaming, and watched Shane join me instead. Dad was the one inflicting the punishment for both of us. Not once during my time there had I seen Shane doing the same laps as us due to his age. Shane nodded and we ran our laps together, plus 10 more because I refused to take the whip in my hands and become the taskmaster. I was about to do another ten until Dad came out to stop me when Shane took Danny into the house. Dad simply said that he was disappointed in me for disobeying his orders, yet he was also proud because I didn’t want to seek revenge. Slapping me hard on the butt; telling me to hit the showers.

Mom and Jody were in the house fixing dinner Mom had already put down plastic runners by the backdoor and all the way down the hall, to keep the carpet clean from our dirty feet from the field. I was about to take a seat hearing the shower until Mom told me that Shane was in the shower waiting for me. I nodded, there was no point arguing about it, it wasn’t the first time or would it be last time I and Shane had bathed together. I simply climbed in.

When we were out Danny was waiting dressed in a pair of boxers while Mom handed him a scrub brush. Telling him that she wanted the bathroom clean to the point she could see his own reflection. Shawn was scrubbing the hallway in the raw and stopped to look us. Mom said you missed a spot. Shawn growled and Mom swatted him leaving another red mark across the butt.

Danny jumped watching it. To me it was just another day at the Rothwell’s, simply put on my apron and helped with dinner. Shane set the table placing a shirt for me and him on the back of our chairs. Grabbed a peeler and help peel the potatoes. Dad took his spot in the chair reading his paper and so he could keep on Shawn and Danny. Telling them both they missed a spot.

Danny was milder than Kelly, but it didn’t matter to Mom or Dad when came to their retraining program. I had overheard them talking that they were going to be harder on the new boys now considering they had failed with James and Kelly. I had a feeling that included me still feeling the red mark were Mom slapped me. I knew I needed to be golden, and in most cases I was. Not once had I gave them any major problems when it came to using foul language or skipped a class or did any of the things Kelly and James did.  It was the episodes and the fear of basements that were my downfall.

Even though I had told Mom that I was willing to miss supper in part of my punishment she told me that it wasn’t necessary considering she too was proud that I declined to take the opportunity take it out on Shawn for disrespecting me when I was told to do so, but she gave me warning that next time she wouldn’t let it go or would Dad. When I am told to do something I better do it.

I understood and they wanted me to promises that I would. I was honest about it stating that was one promise I could not make even if they put in the hothouse all summer or grounded me for a lifetime I wasn’t going to make that promise. I knew my life was about to get harder from that moment on. I could see it in Dads eyes and her’s. Yet the very thought of hurting another person no matter who it is. I would never be able to live with myself. For now, they let it go.