BACKDRAFT

BACKDRAFT

A Poem by Shimmerbliss/CAF
"

To save you would consume my soul, and then, My Love, I too, would burn...

"

A demon fire 

Enflames your soul

My Love, you rage beyond control.

I reach for you, 

My hand is seared

A pain I cannot soothe with tears.

You call to me 

In chilling cries, 

With yearning sobs, and alibis.

To rescue you

Is doomed desire

My sacrifice would feed that fire.

© 2012 Shimmerbliss/CAF


Author's Note

Shimmerbliss/CAF
Written long ago, penned in the moment...
I know that "seared" and "tears" don't properly rhyme,
But, I just can't seem to give up that line!

Let me know if it works...thanks!

My Review

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Featured Review

I think that seared and tears go perfectly with this. This sounds like an intense, but rocky relationship the kind that is dangerous for us. It's like we really want to, but know in the end we're going to get burned. We just can't help ourselves.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shimmerbliss/CAF

7 Years Ago

Truly an intense relationship... long ago. I learned a painful lesson about rescue. Thanks so much f.. read more



Reviews

I think that seared and tears go perfectly with this. This sounds like an intense, but rocky relationship the kind that is dangerous for us. It's like we really want to, but know in the end we're going to get burned. We just can't help ourselves.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shimmerbliss/CAF

7 Years Ago

Truly an intense relationship... long ago. I learned a painful lesson about rescue. Thanks so much f.. read more
oh who cares about a proper rhyme? This moved me. I have certainly been there.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shimmerbliss/CAF

7 Years Ago

Thanks again, my friend. This brings back memories that burn, but I am so glad I wrote it. As always.. read more
Gotta love all that heat. "seared" vs. "tears" sounds like an assonance to me. I'm told that an "assonance is a rhyme which is not a perfect rhyme, but sounds close enough to get by".

Works well for me.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shimmerbliss/CAF

11 Years Ago

Thank you so much, Clayton! :)
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Pax
A demon fire
Enflames your soul
My Love, you rage beyond control.
~ yes, anger that burns with rage are hard to handle and it burns you too, too much than the flame that brought it…
I reach for you,
My hand is seared
A pain I cannot soothe with tears.
~ sometimes scars that are too deep are much longer to heal...
You call to me
In chilling cries,
With yearning sobs, and alibis.
~ it’s harder to heal when someone still at your doorstep never leaving and masked with all the lies of the world…the cries hunts the very soul…
To rescue you
Is doomed desire
My sacrifice would feed that fire.
~ this ending is really sad, you still jump on the fire just to be in love or be to this person you love

hoping i understand your poem well enough...
great work my friend...

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shimmerbliss/CAF

11 Years Ago

I love your thoughts on this, my friend! Thank you for taking time to read it and let me know you un.. read more
Pax

11 Years Ago

your welcome... i find this admirable.... :)
Shimmerbliss/CAF

11 Years Ago

:)
Romantic intensity most artistically portrayed; a lover, almost literally, too hot to handle--can't tell you how many times women have lodged similar complaints against me.
I say, let 'em melt!
A top-notch offering, blissful Claire!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shimmerbliss/CAF

11 Years Ago

I am afraid much of my heart is most likely melted...but it still works okay! Thanks so much, Frank.. read more
My love , you rage beyond control .
Out of this world.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shimmerbliss/CAF

11 Years Ago

Again, my thanks to you for your time and your kind words. I appreciate both.
Sami Khalil

11 Years Ago

You are welcome. Thoughts like that are what poetry is all about.
I think the line works fine. always go with what your heart tells you. Superbly written.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Great Piece ! and it rhymes fine ! I can envision the flames, tears, desperation..

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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...
. stunning poetry ... it's the anatomy of what goes on between two people sometimes ... i've experienced this ... i don't write form poetry ... nor do i know much about it ... i just think this piece is powerful as it is ...

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

No problem with that rhyme nor with any of them. You write of the volatility of romance as one who knows.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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545 Views
10 Reviews
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Added on May 24, 2012
Last Updated on June 14, 2012
Tags: love, loss, addiction, betrayal, dilema, sacrifice, rescue

Author

Shimmerbliss/CAF
Shimmerbliss/CAF

TX



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