"You're Safe With Me"

Don’t mind me, i’m just bored

Baby, i heard a news about you,
Is it true? That you are really scared to love
Baby, just tell me everything that's in your heart,
I promise you, everything is safe with me.

Listen...
Let me hold your hand (first)
Let me (please let me) kiss your lips
Let me hug you tight, baby
I have something important to tell you.

I really love you,
I need ya
I never felt this way before
Since from the very start
You caught my heart
Believe me... you're so cute
My heart is so true
Fight for love? I'll fight for you
No one is above you
Baby listen,.
You're safe with me.


H.

Author's Note

. 😁
Any thought?.

I actually changed my grammar today, as the comment down there, thanks to @blackprince, mr. thank you for reading my poems and lyrics, ive marked your word. Wherever you are, God bless you. :)

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Your poem, overall, takes over the reader with frisky uninhibited enthusiasm, which hardly ever comes around these days, since people seem to be withholding the good stuff. You have a dynamic writing style with questioning, short exclamatory phrases, & a strong sense of honesty. I feel you could improve if you picked a few words, here and there, that are more interesting, not so basic. Try changing "hold your hand" (over-used in poetry & that's why it's a little boring) to: "tickle your fingertips" . . . the more specific you are, the brighter your writing will be. Another example, instead of "you caught my heart" (this is fine, but could be stronger): "you elevate my heart" or "you enchant my heart" . . . "caught" is a verb that does not conjure up any images . . . try using more dynamic verbs that SHOW something about how things are happening . . . frisk, cajole, freeze, frolic, scent . . . I see that you feel a little insecure about your knowledge of English. Well, I'm old & forgetful but there are tools to help find new interesting words. Many writers use a thesaurus to find a wide variety of words that could be used in the place of something basic like "caught" . . . it's easy to do nowadays, since we can look things up on the internet easily! Have fun! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Shineheemi]

I’m new to poetry plus my vocabulary’s weak. I will that in mind. Thank you so much. :)

[BlackPrince]

In the last paragraph, you're supposed to say 'YOU CAUGHT MY HEART'. Or say, 'YOU CATCH MY HEART'.

When you express your sentences, be careful not to confuse the past tense with the present tense.

As writers, we are here to help each other grow in our love and passion for writing.

I like the overall poem for the way it expresses your sincere feelings for that special person.

WELL DONE

[Shineheemi]

I wont change it.. thank you for correcting me. Im not good in english i admit it. So they can see how you taught me here. Ill apply it nextime. Thanks.