Alec's prayer

Alec isn't your typical angel

Our Father, who is not in Heaven,

Alec is thy name.

My Kingdoms done.

I will walk alone on Earth,

as I have here in Heaven.

Give me this day my sweet revenge.

And forgive me my blasphemy,

For I'll punish those you were to weak to.

I won't be your heaven's redemption,

But I will slaughter true evil.

For this is my legacy,

I gained power, not seeking glory.

I'm coming Lucifer

Amen

Author's Note

Please read under the assumption this is the lords prayer I felt it came out better that way

Reviews

[Rynn]

"Our Father, Who is not in Heaven,
Alec is thy name.
My Kingdoms done." - Already I love this piece. I love how you've turned things around. The only thing I would edit is the capitol "Who" can be "who".

"I will walk alone on Earth,
As I have here in Heaven." - again, you don't need a capitol "A" after a comma.

"Give me this day my sweet revenge.
And forgive me my blasphemy," - Absolutely powerful.

"For I'll punish those you were to weak to.
I won't be your heaven's redemption," - "to weak" should be "too weak"

"I won't be your heaven's redemption,
But I will slaughter true evil." - still the power behind this is stunning.

"I gained power, not seeking glory.
I'm coming Lucifer!
Amen" - the only thing I disagree with is the exclamation point. I feel a period is more powerful than exclaiming will ever be. More sentences were killed by periods than ever were by exclaiming.

Overall, truly I loved this. It was something I have never come across before and found it to be immensely powerful. The flow was flawless and the word choice was excellent. I suggest going back for capitol correction and a punctuation check, but otherwise - amazing write. Thank you much for the read, write on.

-Rynn

[Nanaki]

Thank you am glad you liked it, this is the first time Ive tried poetry even if it is just a mashup of the lords prayer and an angels hatred of the devil. I enjoyed it none the less

[222333]

I don't get it.

[Nanaki]

read the lords prayer dude

[222333]

I have. I still don't get this poem.

[Nanaki]

Its a alternate version to the lords prayer. It basically says heavens in ruins due to Lucifer and the scourge from hell. Alec an angel hates what has happened. despises Lucifer and jibes at god for not both being there and strong enough to stop him.

[matrixmark]

Wickedly awesome. I love pieces like this and you twisted the lords prayer around in such a powerful way.

Just the simple - Alec is thy name.
My kingdom is done.
Those 2 lines were the trigger which set this piece off in a spectacular way.

Delicously dark and VERY VERY POWERFUL.

Mark.

[yuhee]

A wicked piece huh. You got a creative mind. Really

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

An interesting write for sure. I didn't really know what to make of it.
Very interesting prayer.
Creative imaginative piece I think.
Well written :)