Paled by Sunday Sun

I thought I missed you.

The mobile eccentricities,

those slender artist's hands 

a dry-brush to cheapen my face 

with discount acrylic 

lugubriosity

... I made my bed...

with layered velvet sheets of midnight

stained in the ghosts of 

former lovers- dried up wishes.

You're raven's caw-

Defiled the moonlight vista

the swathe of dusty bee-sting words

spilling from lips wet with infamy,

how I mesmerized each crack and tinge

Paled by a thousand Sunday suns and

brittled like corn shucks 

on a hollow afternoon. 

the grafitti on my bones is a constant ghost

dripping mad cursive from your song

my shadow dismal enough to turn a tide-

in this moment pregnant with punishment

and stillborn sighs

I looked through that veil of star dust in your gaze

I looked until the brush of time

would paint the face of demons

to mark this day

 

The next time I saw you,

I drown

swallowed by the white undertow

of your crisp and techno fallacies

In still life moments such as these,

we'd lose ourselves. 

Comical- those days we were so young.

Brazen corn flower skies would smile

as we talked Bowie and argued Sartre-

washing it all down with

sunshine-tinctured shards of mosaic.

In those days, I knew little

and passioned your touch

In those days, I swam-

in oceans vibrant with lucidity

while you showered in alkali dust

and sang from that black hole of a

heart. 

In those days, I never knew;

my passions' a world apart. 

Reviews

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

ok I just babbled a whole bunch of stuff and deleted it
instead I will say
the first and last lines are a perfect electrical circuit
I tried in vain to explain why they were in said deleted babble
it was chock full of bad analogies and contrived
attempts at nothing fruitful
THIS poem, however, is engorged with perfection
I'm pretty sure I could never write a poem
and stay this focused while writing about an ex
"sunshine-tinctured shards of mosaic"
if the last line is a quotation
then it's an irony that i do not quite fathom

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

I think everyone should listen to this in Joan Baes's "Baptism" voice

[Kristallo]

I just tried that John, and you are so right! I had almost forgot how much I adored Joan's voice... and i'm quite sure that you could write anything of equal or greater value on the subject of lost love if the mood was right. Stay sane, dear poet. :)

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

nah I doubt I could, but it's not a contest..I do what I do well enough and you obviously excel at what you do..viva la joan
:)
you stay sane too, well as sane as you need to be..don't be too sane, and I'll promise the same

[ba_mcfarlane]

Poetry that reads as if it was written from behind the 'Doors of Perception."
Bravo

[Alexandria Reece]

I can see you standing in your room thinking on these things. What wonderful memories and what a strange and poignant thing it is to reminisce alone. You are as an urban shaman speaking telepathically to the reader of times dusty and half-remembered. I love the ache in this, I feel it everywhere.

'the swathe of dusty bee-sting words
spilling from lips wet with infamy,
how I mesmerized each crack and tinge
Paled by a thousand Sunday suns and
brittled like corn shucks
on a hollow afternoon. '

Yes yes, pure and unadulterated genius as always. You have a startling intellect, I love to attempt following your thought processes, though it does not always end well. You are Queen of verse and expression.

I also have to note that I see you use velvet a lot, don't stop... it's like an extremely sexy signature you grace so many of your pieces with! I love it!

[Kristallo]

I didn't realize I did that. :P Thank you for a most thoughtful and insightful review- I am honored by your lovely praises.

[Perdition]

Reading this one I wanted to try turning on a light..just to see if I was dreaming. Too many too manys' to slow it down and bring it all out in line by line praise...but all that being said..well, Just How DEEP did you go to turn this one so Immeasurably SIMPLE and QUIET in that very loud way ? That kind of simple in quiet that makes you walk out past the heat of your assumption turned sidewalk and burn out your thoughts with your face buried inside your hands. Sound of a caw crowing constant between your fingers. Just a phenomenal flow, K.
" In those days, I swam-
in oceans vibrant with lucidity
while you showered in alkali dust
and sang from that black hole of a
heart. "
Yes, being the operative word here. When you get it right YOU.. YOU REALLY get it right.

[Kristallo]

I always look forward to your reviews, as you give the most insightful and esoteric thoughts; always so alight with imagery. I am smiling, thank you, always, for your wonderful words... I truly take them to heart.

[Perdition]

It is always my pleasure..sometimes I am overwhelmed though. After all, you are a mind that steals the conscious.

[Perdition]

You argued Sartre under corn flowered skies ??..Not young or Jung flowered skies. Well no wonder you argued. I came back to swim again in the better words..Red Book in hand.. My mind is settled now and so being can see this as a brilliant release like the snow drifts of daffodil. The words seem to skip through the elephant eyes in the corn fields and then stop and fall where falling is another way of letting in the sun and it's Mad Hatter's muchness of ray within it's yellow sea.
You are a mind bound to analogy and a soul that floats over the black opulent sky beaming yellow particles of undulation yet arrived. A good thing me thinks.

[Perdition]

Oh and I loved the Baez Baptism input. Also put in Blackmore NIght's -"Village lantern and Shadow of the Moon"..You have a Celtic eye in your heart so it plays well. Gotta turn it soft though.

[Kristallo]

Actually, corn flower is a shade of blue as well, dear. ;)

[Perdition]

IS NOT!!!..lol. That is the beauty of your choice of sky colored layers like consciousness. You have corn and then you have corn. Which does the reader choose and which does the reader choose? I chose and fell a million miles. Every inch a wonderfully worthy fall..but all journey defined is unavoidably "just another word for nothing left to lose".

[Kristallo]

ahh, Janis Joplin would know best about falling a million miles within the confines of self-absorbing imagination. How I know it, well. :P

[Rosalind Gale]

"... as we talked Bowie and argued Sartre-
washing it all down with
sunshine-tinctured shards of mosaic."
Gosh Kris, it is like looking in on my own life, a past time, only with a clear voice reminding me of how things were, once. A kind of gothic cloud shadows the piece - a tale underscored by a melancholic longing... a lost time, one that hurts, still.
Much love
Rosalind
-xxxxxxxxxxxxxx-

[Kristallo]

Very acute observation. It's true... thank you, Rosa.

[Rosalind Gale]

Welcome -
I played that Radiohead song earlier, Give up the Ghost. I like it. You are changing me... maybe...!
-xx-

[Kristallo]

It's one of my favorites to play late at night. Try this one out, if you liked Give up the Ghost, you may like this... don't worry, it isn't Radiohead! But I think you'll appreciate it's beauty. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24lV146dhOY

[Rosalind Gale]

Hey I like it, I mean, I could easily fall asleep to it without even being stoned. Do you know that old group Tubeway Army? I sought out their early stuff before after our comments on the LHSS's page - I had a little trip down memory lane - then read your poem. It was lovely, a sort of coming together of moments.

[Kristallo]

I haven't heard of them, but i'll definitely look it up- i'm always on the look out for new music. Lately, i've been really into indie and experimental stuff- but I love music from all ranges. Is there a song that you'd recommend first?

[Devons]

Yes - "Are Friends Electric?"
Being English, I had to tell you.

[Kristallo]

I liked it! Saw that The Dead Weather did a cover of it, too, also enjoyed that one, made me want to listen to Depeche Mode a while. Thanks for the recommendation.

[Devons]

It's been used over here in recent years too... by a girl group!

[Kristallo]

Oh yeah? Is it any good?

[Devons]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGSajAGg9h4
Judge for yourself. Totally different in style...

[Mr. Lou]

Great poem. Good imagery and choice of words.

[Devons]

Had Edgar Allen Poe been asked to write Alice In Wonderland in terms of an analogy for a former love - then this poem might be something approximating the result. I mean this as a compliment. An artistic mind thinks where others dismiss, and this is a fine example of that difference. A human relationship has been defined here in the form of Gothic tragedy and sensual intellect; creating a legend in profound impressionism. Reflected metaphysically in ominous, sombre clouds upon a rain-swept, wind-driven soul, wracked by the melancholic alienating consequences of an analytical, de-constructive intelligence.

[Kristallo]

One of the best reviews i've ever had, you certainly now how to break a composition down and appreciate it for all its colors and facets. Thank you so much for reading, and even moreso, for understanding. :)

[Muse]

I just got done paying Craig a compliment..so..I had to read you too. Can I say...great minds think alike? ha ha ha

a dry-brush to cheapen my face
with discount acrylic
lugubriosity

Your vocab...brilliant.

Your WOW reviews below...prove my point perfectly.

In milky white abandon-
you blinked our moment's solitude
from your dusky twilight eyes.
Down the rabbit hole, we tumbled
scrambling in azure undertow-
deafened by the static white noise of
your techno fallacies.
In pregnant moments such as these,
we'd lose ourselves.

Yes...more brilliance...your words roll off the tongue. Have you read this out loud? If not...please do..it feels so very good. :) High scores.

Muse

[An owl on the moon]

Sitting here speechless... not quite wanting to leave this moment... one you've intricately woven like a tapestry... threads of thought intertwined with fragmented feelings... There is such an extravagance in your recollections across seasons and scenes... What vibrant days... no wonder you conjure their collective dance so beautifully... Weave on, dear poet... weave on.

[Sethnicity]

Holy Hell, Kris you are laying it on pretty thick!
I don't think you've written anything this... Perfect.
"You're raven's caw-
Defiled the moonlight vista
the swathe of dusty bee-sting words
spilling from lips wet with infamy,
how I mesmerized each crack and tinge
Paled by a thousand Sunday suns and
brittled like corn shucks
on a hollow afternoon. "
(btw...", Grim" that's the word I would have ended that verse on.) - not that my opinion matters at this point.

God forbid I ever have to follow your stand!

Your use of swathe is so GDDAmed slick! He Himself would have succumb to regathering his tongue and still would have gotten bit by the bees let free to ruin.
I could go on more about this... and I may come back just to get busted in the chops by this piece again... what can I say... you deliver pleasurable pain like a syringe, I'm hooked.

I will also add you have been spending some QT in the lab with lines like:
"sunshine-tinctured shards of mosaic"
and
"while you showered in alkali dust
and sang from that black hole of a
heart. "
All those classes are making you lethal!

[Kristallo]

Yeah, I like that its different from what I usually do. I'm quite proud. :3

[Sethnicity]

As you should be! this is excellent!

[Kristallo]

Thank you, Seth.

[Sethnicity]

Seems your re-writing has yielded your poem a but more closure... And maybe so more understanding in time. Its good to see someone actually growing through their art. I hope the future holds more even exchange and positive change in all aspects of your life.