The Princess's Royal ClockA Chapter by Unam
A good comedy if you'd ask me.
It was a neighborhood I could recognize, it was a friend’s neighborhood… my brother’s ex’s neighborhood in fact. Aye, it was weird but that’s what makes things memorable, right? Well to start things off there was me of course, my brother, some friend from college or complete total stranger, never asked questions about him because he was just there. Anyways, we were in trouble, we stood lined up before the good-looking girl my age, supposedly the princess and her royal servant who was also her representative in a way. He was accusing us of stealing the royal artifacts which were supposed to stay in the grandfather clock in the deepest, farthest end of the neighborhood. The reason why I said accused is because we didn’t steal anything, in fact, at the same time he was accusing us of stealing the artifacts he was informing us that they were stolen to begin with. But you know"the whole ritual how the royal people in charge are total buttholes about who did what. The princess on the other hand was fairly gentle and calm about the situation; I was guessing that she didn’t care much about the whole ordeal. Knowing the kind of lady killer that I am I even tried talking to her but that didn’t go well with me trying so with the representative still yelling at us.
So after the gruesome lecture we were forced to go in search for the artifacts before they started looking for it themselves and from the way they told us that it seemed like that wasn’t a good thing. So we got in the nearest car and I was the one to drive the three of us around the neighborhood in search for the artifacts. There were three of them. Well my first and most obvious assumption was that someone at the neighborhood bar had a clue of who could have possibly taken them. We cruised up before the bar, already finding a group of several bandits, and yes"they looked like the old leather armor, sword swinging, arrow shooting bandits from an elder scrolls series. Well for some reason, us, dressed in today’s modern clothes and unarmed decided to interrogate these bandits for any signs of the artifacts. To our luck, one of them had it and so we go through a huge argument on how they got us in trouble. So, check this out, they apologized and hand it to us. I honestly don’t remember what it was nor did I care, I just wanted to clear our names. We achieved one artifact on the first search and after going in the bar and getting in a few fist to fist brawls we managed to come out with another.
We were jacked up but happy we accomplished two relics in such a short time, but the sky caught our attention from celebrating for it was turning bloody red. We exchanged glances between one another and noticed up the street that royal enforcers, who really looked like firemen, were burning down houses with flamethrowers. I was guessing that it was a punishment upon the neighborhood for its thieves but since my mind was in the real-world I knew I didn’t live here so I didn’t really care, yeah, cruel but that’s what happens when you live in a bad neighborhood. Anyways we went back to the princess and her representative to return the first two artifacts, unfortunately the representative was busy with commanding the enforcers so we had to give them to the princess so she could disappear down the hill to return them to the clock. We also noticed that there was a fancy limo being prepared to leave, they were leaving! But why, weren’t they the ones burning the homes? Turns out they had good reason to act so violently. The princess explained how when the clock reaches twelve o’clock, the entire world perishes in an explosive reaction. I… I nearly pissed my pants hearing that and I believed it because that was the reason the sky was turning red and the frequent tremors.
Well, before the princess left with the rest of the royalty, she taught my brother a melody that he could not tell anyone in order to stop the clock from destroying the world when we return the artifacts. We made sure he constantly hummed it in his mind so he wouldn’t screw up at the very last second. After frantically driving around the neighborhood we managed to finally find the last artifact, a golden jeweled crown. I was responsible for holding it and so on we sped back towards the hill were the house held the clock. It was down a road-less dead forest hill. The house was your cliché gray wood, old horror house but we did not give two s***s because we needed to get to the clock in less than a few minutes. Now not only was the fact of finding the room where the clock was going to be issue but just for the entire situation to become ridiculous… goblins… a horde of them. Why, where, how? I remember thinking to myself “Are you f**kin’ serious?!” but I did my best to adapt, so I used the commanding voice I learned how to do from my military experience of my high school academy to give directory orders over the loud war cries and grunts of battle. I and the stranger guy… yeah still didn’t know who he was… we came out clothes torn like barbarians into the room with the clock before us. Once we realized the goblins were not following us we swiftly crammed the crown into the clock, we didn’t care about whether it was in properly; the crown was in the damn clock like we were told to do! Now we sat there looking restlessly out the nearby window, noticing the sky was fading into a white, pale color, cracking like breaking stone. The tremors began shaking the earth crazily. We were prancing around in panic wondering what to do next, then we exchanged glances and I cursed vulgarly, “F**k! Where’s my brother!?”
“What the hell! You guys left me!?” I remember my brother spatting from where we came, wounded worst between the three of us.
“Shut up and sing d****t!” I yelled back, we only had seconds left from watching the clock tick patiently.
My brother swiftly sang the song as fast as his lips could move, it was such a dumb melody, and I even chuckled in disbelief as my brother made a fool of himself before us. Once he finished he looked at us, then joined in the panicking watch of the changing sky. It did not change its mood but worsened until it looked like the explosion was just a breath away. Then, in a blink of an eye, it all reversed into the healthy blue sky it was once before. We roared in cheers and marched proudly back into the neighborhood, realizing that no one was left. The world was abandoned and we looked in crushed morality as the sky, once again, turned red.
Excluding its rather dark end I think this had to be the funniest dream I ever had just because of its pure randomness, I mean, really? Elder scroll bandits, goblins, ha, you what? Now that I’m writing this I see what made me have this dream. I played a night of oblivion a day before going to sleep on this one. Oh and I forgot to tell you one major thing that made this a comedy to me. The royal representative was Geoffrey from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I like to watch that show on demand. Aye, hilarious, but overall it was a good story inspirer for me. I actually considered adding this to my potential book log but I couldn’t think up of a story based on it. Overall it was a fun story to tell my brother that morning, the complete randomness was too much!
© 2012 Unam
Added on January 22, 2012
Last Updated on January 22, 2012
Unam's Dream World
AboutI'm a college student who've been writing since about early middle school. I enjoy a series of hobbies such as playing guitar to writing all day. I enjoy writing books of single characters who und.. more..