Schaudenfreude

I’ve been feeling light,

And I don’t have a reason why

But fifteen years have shy gone by

And I’m done questioning the way of things

 

It started with a dream

A tactful tear upon the seams

Of fortune’s greatest mystery

Its thread unwinding down beneath my feet

Before it leaves in sly retreat

 

To you it’s just a game

Deriving pleasure from my pain

A creature walking midst the short of breath clearing the distance between me and death

 

You called upon this hopeless dreamer

Pinched between your thumb, forefinger

Wrestled in a stroke of nerves

And laughing as you pulled upon my life

Unraveling my dignity

At mercy to the golden sea

Of your contempt and wicked thought

                Or maybe that’s me playing my lot

 

Losing to your game

Giving you pleasure with my pain

And though I know  you’re all the same

I can’t help shivering at the thought of slacking

                Kneeling before you, and crushed beneath the ground into

                Another ditch of empty memories that whisper of the happiness I knew

 

To you it’s just a game

So why should I try to stay sane

In this abomination of occupation

A sad excuse for decent company

 

Why are you so obsessed

With banging down upon my chest

With tantalizing ill requests that give me hope when failure is my best shot

 

                I’m through with losing to your game

                The outcome is always the same,

                I’d call it a tasteless cliché if you would spare some time to hear

                I know

                You’re all the same

                Deriving pleasure from my pain

                I see you smile to watch me squirm

                And plead the fifth when you bare question

 

               

To you it’s just the same

Deriving pleasure from my pain

And feeding out into your putty hands

Deflated from your heinous acts

 

Of fiddling with the strings

Upon the fate of destiny

And dragging me out from the light

After I’d given you my life because

 

To you it’s just a game

Deriving pleasure from my pain

A sideshow act for you to speculate

And question how to steer the story

 

To you it’s just a game

Deriving pleasure from my pain

A sideshow act for you to speculate

And question how to steer my story

 

 

To you it’s just a game

Deriving pleasure from my pain

A sideshow act for you to speculate

Let’s hope it doesn’t end up gory