Living in the Past, Chapter One Part One

Living in the Past, Chapter One Part One

A Chapter by Carissa Sink

Sandra woke slowly, stretching and and yawning as a smile spread across her face. She hadn’t slept this good in months. Not since she had moved in with her baby sister, who just so happened to have given birth to a little hell spawn that refused to sleep through the night. Sandra sat up and looked around the room, grateful for the much needed rest. That was, until her gaze landed on her bedside clock.

                  “S**t!” She yelled, scrambling from the bed and going into a panic. 8:22. She had eight minutes to shower, get dressed and make it to work before 8:30. Not happening. Sandra looked around, trying to locate her cell phone so she could let her boss know she’d be late. Sandra sighed. There was no way she could talk herself out of this one. Finally getting her hands on her cell, she called the office.

                  “Morning Kennsington,” her monotone boss answered causing Sandra to wince.

                  “Morning Sir, I’m calling to let you know I will be late getting in to the office today,” she replied, waiting for the shoe to drop. The line was silent for about a minute.

                  “Then why are you still on the phone Kennsington. Get in gear.” The line went dead and Sandra let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. She allowed herself 2.5 seconds to breath and then she became a blur of motion. After showering, she dressed in a sliming pantsuit with a silk blouse and 5-inch stiletto boots. Standard issue. It felt as though she hit every red light on the way to the office. Her fingers were constantly tapping away at the wheel, and she wished with every cell of her being the the car in front of her would drive just a wee bit faster. By the time she reached headquarters, it was 9:15 and she was beyond late. Gordon was going to kill her. Making her way the seventh floor of the building, Sandra prepared herself for the worst.

                  Just as she reached her office and the safety of her desk her name was called across the floor.

                  “Kennsington! My office,” the director hollered, summoning her. Sandra gave one last look at her desk, piled high with files and paperwork. A rock and a hardplace.

                  “What’d you do this time short stuff?” her partner asked. Sandra looked over at Wells and sighed. Cyrus Wells was a complicated man. At Six foot Two he towered over her, even in her heels, constantly referring to in clever nicknames.  She might be 5’ 8”, but that didn’t stop Wells from teasing her every chance he had. His face looked angry but his green eyes gave away his concern for her. They may have only been working together for a few short months, but Wells seemed to have developed a soft spot for Sandra.

                  “I’ll let you know when I find out,” Sandra replied, turning to face her boss. She entered to large room where her boss and current director of the FBI’s New York field office sat. Michael Gordon was a hard man to read. When she first transferred to New York, Sandra had thought that the director had hated her. However, after her brush with death two weeks ago, the man had seemed to soften towards her, often telling her to be careful whenever she left the office.

                  “Sir,” she said nodding at the man behind the desk. Gordon may have gray streaks in his hair, but that was the only sign of his advanced age. The man was fit and lean and ready to take on anyone stupid enough to get too close. Gordon looked up and removed the wire framed glasses from his face, tossing them onto his desk before recling back in his chair.

                  “Have a seat,” he said to her, extending his hand towards the chair across from him. Sandra nodded before taking a seat in the maroon chair in front of her. Her eye’s connected with the director’s across the desk. Gray vs. Blue. The staring contest lasted about two minutes before the director finally spoke to her. “We haven’t talked much about the Gonzales case in the past two weeks,” he said in a rough voice. she nodded at him. “Despite everything, you did good Kennsington.” She smiled a bit.

                  “Thanks you, Sir,” She replied, grinning like a fool, and he huffed.

                  “Maybe next time you can avoid almost losing your life to close the case,” he said in a bit of a serious tone. Her smile fell and she cast her eyes to the floor. “The case may be closed but Fernando is still in the wind,” Gordon said and she nodded. “You need to keep your eyes open. There’s a good chance Fernando will come after you for taking out his old man. Watch your back Kennsington.”

                  “Yes, Sir,” She responded and he waved his hand in dismissal. Sandra rose out of my chair and took a step towards the door. Perhaps he wouldn’t comment on my tardiness, she thought.

                  “Oh and Kennsington? Maybe tomorrow you can actually show up on time?” He said without turning to look at her. Sandra winced. Perhaps not, she thought.

                  “Yes, Sir,” she responded and continued to flee towards her office. As she was walking, she gave Cyrus a look, summoning him into her office. By the time sh lowered herself into her seat, Wells was already sitting down across from her desk. He looked a little annoyed, but he was just trying to mask his worry.

                  “So, fun size, how’d it go in there,” he asked, giving her a look that tried to hide his concern. It did not work.

                  “Gordon just told me to watch my back, he’s afraid Fernando will come after me for throwing his dad in prison,” she regurgitated to him, frowning a bit. Wells’ face softened, even offering up a small smile, showing the dimple in his right cheek. With light brown hair and soft green eyes, Cyrus was an attractive man. Too bad he was already married to the job.

                  “Don’t worry pequena, I got your six,” he stated, rising from his seat. “Lord knows I don’t want to train a new partner,” he replied, laughing to himself, his head tossed back. Sandra smiled at his retreating back, wishing she had something she could throw at him. She knew with an ego that big, there would be no way for her to miss.

                  The rest of the day was somewhat uneventful, despite the fact she was cleared for active duty two days ago. She spent most of her time catching up on paperwork that had fallen behind, mostly because she despised desk duty. After what felt like eons, the time to leave was finally approaching. She sighed in relief, logging off her computer and gathering her things.

                  On her way out of the office, she slapped my hands down on Wells’ desk, startling him out of his cat-nap and sending a few papers sailing towards the floor. The large man practically toppled out of his chair. She laughed a bit harder than necessary, earning a glare out of her drowsy partner.

                  “I’m on my way-out Wells, have a good night,” She said, turning to walk away and towards the elevator doors.

                  “Have a terrible night Kennsington! I hope someone wakes you from a deep, wonderful sleep,” he yelled after her. She just laughed the entire way to the elevator. 




© 2017 Carissa Sink



Author's Note

Carissa Sink
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Featured Review

Positive first! The relationship between Sandy and Wells is very cute. You developed it just right with a little background story and friendly banter. I also find this story compelling in a way I usually don't. Everything you write is very realistic, like it's actually happening. The characters are sincere and real, the dialogue fits their personalities, and this chapter has a natural flow to the events of the day.
However, there are a few things that could use some addressing. One, there are some grammar errors. Watch your capitalization (when describing Wells you wrote he was Six foot Two, but you wouldn't capitalize that.) Also watch comma usage, you're missing quite a few. There's also a few words where you have a missing letter (for example, at one point you writing she but it has no e). If you go back through and proofread you should be fine, it seems as though most of these are typing errors.
Secondly, there's a problem with the transition between the prologue and the first chapter. You introduce a new baby at the end of the prologue, and then you go right into grown-adult Sandra. It's very confusing. Now, I purposely leave the beginnings of my stories vague for the large part in order to make things especially surprising later for readers and create even more excitement for them, and I know as a writer I am personally highly annoyed when critiques tell me I could be more clear in the story. If that's what you're doing here then as long as you make things clear later in the story it's fine. If not, I'd at least suggest giving a succinct timeline at the very start of the first chapter so that readers can see how she has progressed and it's not baby one second and then BOOM FBI agent next.
Lastly, if an FBI Director were worried about the safety of one of his charges, that is something he would speak to them about immediately, not two weeks later. Even in the most hectic of all work days he would make the FBI agent stay after work for a bit so he could have a discussion with her about staying safe. So I would consider changing that "it's been two weeks since you almost died and I'm only just now going to discuss with you the safety concerns" as it isn't very realistic. Despite those two things, this chapter actually was very enjoyable. You still get a 90/100 because it's a good read, it just needs some tightening up!

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Carissa Sink

1 Week Ago

Thank you, I appreciate your input and will look into making some changes.
Thank you for your.. read more



Reviews

Positive first! The relationship between Sandy and Wells is very cute. You developed it just right with a little background story and friendly banter. I also find this story compelling in a way I usually don't. Everything you write is very realistic, like it's actually happening. The characters are sincere and real, the dialogue fits their personalities, and this chapter has a natural flow to the events of the day.
However, there are a few things that could use some addressing. One, there are some grammar errors. Watch your capitalization (when describing Wells you wrote he was Six foot Two, but you wouldn't capitalize that.) Also watch comma usage, you're missing quite a few. There's also a few words where you have a missing letter (for example, at one point you writing she but it has no e). If you go back through and proofread you should be fine, it seems as though most of these are typing errors.
Secondly, there's a problem with the transition between the prologue and the first chapter. You introduce a new baby at the end of the prologue, and then you go right into grown-adult Sandra. It's very confusing. Now, I purposely leave the beginnings of my stories vague for the large part in order to make things especially surprising later for readers and create even more excitement for them, and I know as a writer I am personally highly annoyed when critiques tell me I could be more clear in the story. If that's what you're doing here then as long as you make things clear later in the story it's fine. If not, I'd at least suggest giving a succinct timeline at the very start of the first chapter so that readers can see how she has progressed and it's not baby one second and then BOOM FBI agent next.
Lastly, if an FBI Director were worried about the safety of one of his charges, that is something he would speak to them about immediately, not two weeks later. Even in the most hectic of all work days he would make the FBI agent stay after work for a bit so he could have a discussion with her about staying safe. So I would consider changing that "it's been two weeks since you almost died and I'm only just now going to discuss with you the safety concerns" as it isn't very realistic. Despite those two things, this chapter actually was very enjoyable. You still get a 90/100 because it's a good read, it just needs some tightening up!

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Carissa Sink

1 Week Ago

Thank you, I appreciate your input and will look into making some changes.
Thank you for your.. read more

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Added on November 6, 2017
Last Updated on November 6, 2017
Tags: Fantasy, supernatural, love, soulmates


Author

Carissa Sink
Carissa Sink

Kalamazoo, MI



About
I write mostly romance with some fantasy and supernatural mixed in. I write mostly for fun but was recently told I should share my pieces. Looking for some feedback to know if my stories are enjoyable.. more..

Writing
Chapter Two Chapter Two

A Chapter by Carissa Sink