CAN YOU HEAR ME?

can you hear my words,

amidst the loud crashing of love's destruction?

can you look into my eyes,

through the smoke of hate and anger?

 

can't you see,

that we've lost all sense of who we are?

when last have you looked into the mirror,

and known the one who looked back?

 

we are a suffering generation,

on the brink of self destruction,

and when we look down from our perches,

we see the dark chasm of our ever fading world

 

we live our lives in grey scale,

cause our broken self image filters out all colour.

let the deceptions fall...let us see into the world of truth

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

You have some tense confusion in this line, "when last have you looked into the mirror,and known the one who looks back?" It starts out past tense and ends up present tense. We need the tense to agree. It should be, "when last have you looked into the mirror,and known the one who looked back?" to be in agreement and I would change "cause" in the next to the last line to "because" since they are different words with different meanings. As for content, this was sad but beautiful in its sadness. I feel a yearning for something brighter and better. You have the power to make it so and it is a power within us all. If you want a better world or a better self, it begins with you. Two of my favorite quotations from The Analects are, 1. " The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." and 2. " It is better to light a single candle than to sit and curse the darkness." The words of the master sage are as applicable today as they were 2600 years ago. Jesus quoted Confucius or repeated an exact duplicate of his 500 year old philosophy known to Christians as "The Golden Rule". If you have never read The Analects, I highly recommend its reading as a source of enlightenment and strength; courage, wisdom and beauty. I rate this 100%...keep up the good work.

[Dani]

Wow. I really, really like this. "We are a suffering generation on the brink of self destruction". Sadly true.

[JanieB]

I really like this. Well written.

[Sweets]

"let the deceptions fall...let us see into the world of truth"
Such a great line :)
Good poem! :D
100/100

[Linear]

Ah the mirror on my wall casts an image dark and small, and im not sure at all it's my reflection, It sure is time to open our eyes wide, for time is so reduced.

loved this work of art