Wrong is Not in My Name

Wrong is Not in My Name

A Poem by anna
"

This a revised poem that I created for my UIL Poetry.

"
I need to take a walk and clear, my head about this 
About why I can’t go out without changing
my clothes,
my shoes, 
my body posture, 
my gender identity, 
my age, 
my status as a woman.

The point being that I can’t do what I want to do with my own body 
because I am...
the wrong sex,
the wrong age,
 the wrong skin, 
because I was wrong,
wrong again to be me.

And even tonight suppose it was not here in the city but down on the beach
or far into the woods 
and I wanted to go there by myself thinking about God
or thinking   
about children 
or thinking about the world 
all of it disclosed by the stars and the silence:   
I could not go
and 
I could not think and I could not stay...  

Alone..
  
As I need to be ... 
Alone because I can’t do what I want to do with my own   
body and   
who in the hell set things up   
like this   
and they say if the guy penetrates   
but does not ejaculate then he did not rape me   
and if after stabbing him if after screams if   
after begging  and if even after smashing   
a hammer to his head if even after that if he   
and his buddies spoon-feed me a ancient 
date-rape drug. So I’ll howl at you. Using me to 
swoon at your questionable light.
over and over
hoping you disappear for nights on end.
after that   
no rape   

 because I was wrong, 
wrong again to be me
I was wrong 
to be who I am   
the wrong skin on the wrong continent.

it was my father saying I was wrong saying that   
I should have been a boy because he wanted one/a 
boy and that I should have been lighter skinned and 
that I should have had straighter hair and that 
I should not be so boy crazy but instead I should 
just be one/a boy and before that          
it was my mother pleading plastic surgery for 
my nose and braces for my teeth and telling me 
to let the books loose to let them loose in other 
words 

I am the history of rape   
I am the history of the rejection of who I am   
I am the history of the terrorized incarceration of   
myself   
I am the history of battery assault and limitless   
armies against whatever I want to do with my mind   
and my body and my soul and   
whether it’s about walking out at night   
or whether it’s about the love that I feel 
of each and every desire   
that I know from my personal and idiosyncratic   
and indisputably single and singular heart   
I have been raped   
be- 
cause I have been the wrong sex the wrong age   
the wrong skin the wrong nose the wrong hair the   
wrong need the wrong dream the wrong geographic   
the wrong sartorial.
I have been the meaning of rape   
I have been the problem everyone seeks to   
eliminate by forced   
penetration with or without the evidence of slime.   

I am not wrong: Wrong is not my name
My name is my own.  
and I can’t tell you who the hell set things up like this 
but I can tell you that from now on my resistance   
my simple and daily and nightly self-determination   
may very well cost you your life

© 2014 anna


Author's Note

anna
enjoy

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that was amazing! and very relate able.

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on November 10, 2014
Last Updated on November 10, 2014
Tags: rape, wrong, despair, human, women, rights

Author

anna
anna

TX



About
Hello there, I welcome you to my profile. Let me tell you about my self. I am Anna,born on July 21st and 16. Poetry and any other writing is one of my passions I love to do, i also do some photography.. more..

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