Why did you have to Go...

Why did you have to Go...

A Poem by Siena - Silent Awakenings.

I've tried to call, but you've said nothing at all.
And while I wait and fret, all I know is that you're not here, not even in sight, for I have tried to call, but their was no reply at all...

Why am I in shambles, blinded by the sight of reality, so light tempered? 
I've barricaded the door, no I do not want to sleep anymore, I'll quiver like I did before.
So hungry, angry, and so frightened, what if my existence was never meant to be without you near, you're not here!

But its alright, I'll cope when you're back... back from that place I never wanted you to be, that was the place that gave you empathy, you said it made you strong, made you honoured to be who you are.
I say that place makes you become who you think you should be, that place is for people who take chances, but don't you see... you can't do that to me!

Nothing is explicit... You live, you love, you fight and 'you' come back.
You don't do everything you've done without word or call that you're not living, or worse. That you won't come back. 

Am I deranged? For I am now in your closet, looking at the traces of existence that you were not once a dream.
I hate it, I hate you. You've left me here, and I do not know what to do.

And as I sweep my hands across your clothes, I come across a suit... its your spare.
Messy green prints enter my eyes like knives.
Oh, and that's when it hits me, the enormity of it sinks in once again, snap back I tell myself, snap back to normality.
Adrenaline, adrenaline... adrenaline rush.
Why won't you come? Why won't you let this peace be cussed?

After all this writing, crying, this screaming... the pen, that writes on paper that shakes like the rice in African rain sticks, allows me to write a single and most proper letter:
"Are you well, my sweet? You seem gone, gone more now, than you will ever seem in my unstable future. 
        You know I miss you... but don't you ever forget it."

© 2012 Siena - Silent Awakenings.


Author's Note

Siena - Silent Awakenings.
I started writing this poem about half a year ago... And stuck with it.
I really hope that it is clear enough, as people have criticized me of that in previous poems. Enjoy it! :)

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Featured Review

Wah, that is good stuff! As someone else pointed out some grammar mistakes i.e their rather than there. Very gripping and intense, as I read i was totally drawn in, didn't even notice my cell ringing! XD Great job!

Have you ever considered trying to write a stream of consciousness piece? They are neat, this sort of gave me the impression that you could make a very thrilling one. Again good job!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

"Why am I in shambles, blinded by the sight of reality, so light tempered?
I've barricaded the door, no I do not want to sleep anymore, I'll quiver like I did before.
So hungry, angry, and so frightened, what if my existence was never meant to be without you near, you're not here!"

this is important work, and the kind of poetry where the reader can easily identify the movement, through pain, of the speaker. this is good work.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sometimes the goal of poetry is not to expose its purpose but to allow the reader to make it his own. You have the emotion to write tremendous poetry.
What you really need is a challenge of structure. To be poetic is to edit the lines to a type of flowing verse that brings rythym and stanze. You have the emotion and it is very real and heart felt. It feels so real.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Powerful. Well written, says a lot. Cheers

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Your poem just grab me from the start, and I couldn't keep my eyes off until the very end. The poem really expresses true human emotions that are being pushed to the limits. Your words really grabs your thoguhts, feelings, and what you want back. It's a sad poem but true. Very nicely written. I will enjoy more of your poems.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Although the lines are sometimes very long, your poem is easy to read and understand. It conveys heavy emotion and yearning for a return of a friend, to return to what you perceive as normal. This is a fine piece of writing.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is just flawless. Greatly elicited that feeling of angst, suspense, the adrenaline rush when we lose someone and mourn helplessly. Pain, rhetorical questions, metaphors, along with vivid imagery, and this just flowed rather awesomely with the rhyme within the stanzas/paragraphs, and had my attention till the very end. This is certainly a feeling I can relate to, an abandonment that fails to snap us into reality, as we fall in doubt and search for evidences of existence with worries. Great job, enjoyed reading.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this....I love how it is written, the word use and the flow. Great job.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Its a really nice piece! I can see you improving from your previous poetry.

Just fix the grammar mistakes and it will be perfect. :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I'm very impressed by your poem! Your words grabbed me and never let go! The emotion is quite sad and you expressed it very well.

"But its alright, I'll cope when you're back... back from that place I never wanted you to be, that was the place that gave you empathy, you said it made you strong, made you honoured to be who you are.
I say that place makes you become who you think you should be, that place is for people who take chances, but don't you see... you can't do that to me!"

...I love the strength and intensity of your thoughts here.
You have amazing talent for poetry :) Keep writing!!!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Another impressive and heartbreaking poem - you are so good!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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17 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on August 31, 2011
Last Updated on May 25, 2012
Tags: emotional wreck

Author

Siena - Silent Awakenings.
Siena - Silent Awakenings.

United Kingdom



About
Siena / 25 / England I adore Writing. Please check out my contest winners, they are all so great: http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Show-me-the-determination.-/14590/ http://www.writersca.. more..

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