A  Shadow Approaches

A Shadow Approaches

A Poem by SilverInk

A shadow approaches

The smiles grow bigger
Time flies quicker

A shadow approaches

A care have they not
Their joy will soon rot

A shadow approaches

Mother calls them inside
A safe place to hide

A shadow approaches

The lights go out
Smiles turn to pouts

A shadow approaches

One scream into more
Soon throats are sore

The shadow approaches
The shadow is gone.

© 2017 SilverInk



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Reviews

Hello, SilverInk, thank you for entering my contest! :)
There's a building suspense in this one.

Posted 6 Months Ago


SilverInk

6 Months Ago

No problem, I hope you liked it!
This felt like an old fairy tale, one of those stories people tell over time. I really enjoyed it. Very mysterious and well-written.

Yari

Posted 6 Months Ago


SilverInk

6 Months Ago

Thanks for reading and reviewing!
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RWE
I like your use of "shadow" in this context, leaving the reader to imagine for herself/himself what that dark figure represents. I think you could've added another line or two, and made this poem even more powerful. Still, it's a great piece of work. You so well convey fear, and leave the reader asking, "what is that shadow? Is it even something to fear? Nice work.

Posted 6 Months Ago


SilverInk

6 Months Ago

Really glad you got what I wanted readers to get out of it! Thanks so much!
I really like this write, found it truthful...
you write very well.

Posted 6 Months Ago


SilverInk

6 Months Ago

Thanks so much!
I sense the poem to be an Afro American experience, although not exclusive. You fill the reader with a dread that something terrible might happen and in that sense I find the writing remarkable.

Regards,
Al

Posted 6 Months Ago


SilverInk

6 Months Ago

Exactly the response I wanted from a reader! The point of the poem is for each reader to interpret t.. read more
Like it has been said, this is good. I enjoyed the build up, but think the last line drained some of its oomph. Perhaps it is just the change in rhythm. Or a couple of lines describing the shadows purpose is needed. Still well done!
- George

Posted 7 Months Ago


SilverInk

7 Months Ago

The last line was more to say that every thing that is of the darkness will come, but it will leave .. read more
I think its great how you constantly raised the tension in each line, it felt eerie and yet thrilling at the same time. I guess I visualized myself in one of my favorite horror movies as I was reading this. You've got a way of taking people back into their minds which is fine. keep up the work.

Posted 7 Months Ago


SilverInk

7 Months Ago

Thanks so much!
Thank you for entering your poem into my competition.

I liked your refrain of the shadow, it allowed for the pace to build rhythm and suspense very quickly.

You created some spine tingling imagery as well.

Good job

Posted 7 Months Ago


SilverInk

7 Months Ago

Glad you enjoyed it!
a fast paced drama .. i say the vampires have won for now :{ eeeeeyow!
E.

Posted 7 Months Ago


SilverInk

7 Months Ago

Thanks for the review!
I think it was very interesting and different i really don't have much to say.

Posted 7 Months Ago


SilverInk

7 Months Ago

Thanks for the review!

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Added on December 10, 2017
Last Updated on December 15, 2017

Author

SilverInk
SilverInk

New York, NY



About
HELLO! I've been here for about a year, I'd like to say. I really like writing novels, but I usually can't finish them, so I stopped posting them here. Lately, though, I've been writing a bunch of.. more..

Writing
My Guest My Guest

A Poem by SilverInk



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