Ocean

Life's like an ocean calm one minute the rocky the next ...

Life's one big ocean
the calm before the storm
Motionless it roars
Grey skies try it's hardest to knock us down

Crashing water berates us
Vast empty offerings
Nothingness all around
vulnerability takes hied

Suddenly all is still
No storm in sight
You must get ready to fight

Author's Note

Trying to write a bit of a happier poem lol

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Good job of telling an interesting story using an extended metaphor. It's clear how your descriptions of the ocean could be symbols for many aspects of life. I love your use of personification: "crashing water berates us" . . . but this line sounds awkward: "skies try it's hardest" (noun is plural but pronoun is singular) -- singular: "sky tries its hardest" (no apostrophe for "its") OR plural: "skies try their hardest." The final stanza is a good way to add a positive note to your roiling sea imagery. We must all be ready to pounce when the opportunity is in front of us! (((HUGS))) Fondly Margie

[Ghost writer]

wow! I totally got it though, sometimes I get this backwards but when I read this it felt like safety somehow, good work

[Coyote Poetry]

Very good use of words and logic. You are right. After the storm. We must go forward. Thank you Simba for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Einstein Noodle]

i can feel the creative tension your speaker seems to be under .. unable to enjoy the roar nor the calm of the oceans in his/her life ... a bit more living perhaps ;)
i like the feistiness expressed in closing ...
E.

[KCthelastboyscout]

If I'm in this ocean, metaphorically speaking I'm lost at sea...
Maybe we can save each other from drowning
I don't think we're so adrift we cant reach shore with the help of others