World of s**t

Note: Its not a poem but rant isn't an option for type so please forgive.

So i'm sitting here trying to write words i can't say
trying to put it all together to make some sense
but dementia and mania of the heart makes no sense
i sit here thinking of the past, thinking of what could have been
torturing myself just by remembering you
killing myself or hoping to do so by holding onto to something i never had
sitting here 22 nearly, looking back on life already
to soon for grave bound regrets
to late to change them

i felt this way about you all my life
but i could never find the words to say
plenty to write but no audience
sitting here with strength hanging from my neck
bands and bangles of the past bound to my wrists
making no f*****g sense
as usual


feeling like my soul is leaving its prison
i hope the body will soon follow, i can't take being an empty husk much more
i would love to end it, forget everything as i walk down that tunnel into that light
but there's no honour in slit wrists or O.D's nor a noose or a good tall bridge
there just no honour at all anymore
can't see the woods for hiding in the tree's

You don't deserve to be happy, none of us really do
but i'd do anything to see you smile
your far from perfect, in all honesty your broken so much you can't even tell what you used to be
but in my eyes you form beauty no artisit ever captured, no poet ever wrote, Gia's only masterpiece
Life is a burden, i've lost all hope
where are my gods now ? Evil proveils and good men die in the dirt
love conquers all but through tyranny,jealousy and hate, not purity anymore
just lust and greed and selfishness

I don't know what to do