Confectionary Calamity

Take hold with your teeth

And tear the red flesh apart.

The sour taste conquers you,

But now you're addicted,

Bite again

 

And let the sugar devour

Your burning, whincing tongue.

Let the bittersweet pain

Encompass you

Then fade.

 

Funny how a small red sweetie

Defeats those who dare to eat it.

Author's Note

Jenneh wanted meh to write a poem about a Sour Strawb (a jelly sweet)
At least I didn't have to write one about a whiteboard d: xx

Reviews

[trainwreck]

This was pretty cool. :) Good job.

[.shalynn.009.]

Haha. As simple as the premise for this poem is, it was extremely deep. It reminds me of a poem by Stephen Crane called "In the Desert". I love that this could be about so much more than candy, yet could be about the candy as well. It could be about love and the pains of love, or addiction, or self-inflicted pain, or humanity. Another very good poem from you, with great description of color and taste. Tell Jenneh thanks from me for making you write this.

[Calypso]

Nice going!

[Skoo.]

sophieturnitup; That's the point, it's a weirdly creepy poem about a delicious little sweet. (:

[Sophie Titch]

im sorry, but how can this harsh, scary poem reflect upon a jelly sweet apart from its red flesh! it makes you sound like a canabal

[Ben Taylor]

Aha, the first time I read this through I thought you were describing a cannibal, until the end.
I like it better about food :)
You made the mundane into the beautiful.
Kudos :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Food is our great pleasure. I like the description and the ending. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Saraplenty]

Very clever!!

[Ravyne Hawke]

This is delightful and well-written, Scooby. Very artful and witty.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Okay, thought this was like a werewolf poem starting out...lol...and it turned out something sweet. Too bad the same irony isn't more often applied to the human race... :o) great poem!