Wonder Lust

Wonder Lust

A Poem by sinNsincerity

You left me breathless

when you asked,

“Do you like my

necklace?,” as

you escalated your

fingers down from

your left collar

bone towards your cleavage.

The center piece...

Heart exceeding because

a dose of you is

extremely needed!

Please my dear, I’m

in dire need

of O D-ing!



© 2018 sinNsincerity



My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Lovely write! Can sense the passion between the lines...

However, I'm not sure whether "escalate" is the right word for what the fingers did......yes, maybe the situation escalated.......and that is quite a pivotal verb in the poem.....so I cannot suggest an alternative, but that's what I got in my first reading.....

Towards the end of the poem, it got a "rap" vibe, where my feet started to tap, but then it stopped.....as if there was more to come....

Great work!

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

4 Months Ago

Escalate as in an escalator. They go up as well as down. Hence her fingers moving downward.
T.. read more



Reviews

This piece giggles and staggers to its own satisfaction, yet the fight between punctuation and rhyme is a bit of a distraction. The direction of escalation and its imagery is strong in thought, but the lines surrounding the idea of center and heart could be clearer wrought. There are here in nestled lovely blossoms of poetic bliss, it could have great contentions to be more than a near kiss.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

1 Year Ago

Maybe it that is what it was meant to be? Nothing more than a near Kiss...
Oh that was a beautiful poem :*
You did a great job

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

1 Year Ago

Thank you, I appreciate that.
Aw! This is, in my opinion, the cutest poem I've read on this website so far. It really put a smile on my face, and you described 'lust' perfectly. Good job! :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

1 Year Ago

Why thank you Polly, I just try to describe the snapshot as close as possible and make it interestin.. read more
Polly

1 Year Ago

Haha, that's good.
Women can be drugs can be women. It's something I say on occasion. Can work in reverse for men, too.
Wonder lust en route to wonder love, almost.
I dig this one as well, bro.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

1 Year Ago

And a lot of side effects come along with them both hahaha. I'm just messing.
Ok, you asked my opinion, so I'm gonna pull out my lady balls and give it to you. I think it's great!... here comes the but, "but" I think one word might need a small tweak. The word escalate denotes more of a rising motion, than a falling one, and since you describe her finger moving "down" from her collar bone to her cleavage, might I suggest a swap, perhaps, for a word like slid, or trailed? Just a small suggestion for a great piece. It has a lot of vibe. Nice work.
..Misty

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

1 Year Ago

Escalators travel upwards and downwards do the not?
Thank you for ready Misty, I'm glad you e.. read more
M. L. F.

1 Year Ago

Hmmm... Interesting perspective, and yes very good piece. :)
simple and clean with a clever ending that opens so many possible levels...i love it
...thank you...

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

3 Years Ago

Thank you!
Clever yet again! And a little kinky too!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

3 Years Ago

hehe Thank you Nadia!
Beautiful, teasing and utterly enchanting :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

3 Years Ago

Why thank you for thinking so Ana!
Just a moment in a life time. I really dug the relation to over dosing of a person. Being so consumed and filled with them that you feel like you're on drugs. Brilliant image and refreshing. this is one of my favorites

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

3 Years Ago

That means so much to me and made my day.
Thank you Crystal!
Love this SweetSin, a simple moment captured so perfectly..the suggestive action and the reaction....
O D ing....brilliant ending !
Awesome Bestie!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sinNsincerity

3 Years Ago

No worries, I'm the same right now...
And every time I make a dent and get it down a bit, it .. read more
sereenaoutloud

3 Years Ago

OMG I know right? I'm like talking to the computer screen..."stop" lol Plus i like to really read an.. read more
sinNsincerity

3 Years Ago

I feel you lol
it's all good though =D

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1342 Views
35 Reviews
Rating
Added on June 14, 2015
Last Updated on March 6, 2018

Author

sinNsincerity
sinNsincerity

East Los Angeles, CA



About
Help a brotha out. Copy and Paste the link. 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇 https:/.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..