A Second Try

When life knocks you down, that doesn't mean you can't get back up and give it a second try. Be it stress, mental illness, depression, or physical illness.

A Second Try

 

I’ve been through this bullshit enough

And it’s tough

I’ve been rough

My mental illness and stuff

My hopes and dreams like a candle that’s been snuffed

Leaving me blind and alone

While I watched everyone around me living in a world full of light

It was so dark that I couldn’t see the good in my life, how lucky I am

Giving me the pessimistic view that everything was greener on the other side

But I’ve learned how to bring a lighter tone to my world, and grow my own grass

It’s finally time to shake off this rust

I’m not buff

But I’m strong enough to brush it off like it’s fluff

Cause if I can then I must

It always used to be my own mind I couldn’t trust

Full of illusions, and paranoia

But when it comes to accepting my reality

 and making the best of it

I think I’m finally ready

Im going to blow the dust off my poetry

And I’ll be sharing it openly

Because I feel it’s supposed to be

When back to normal I can boast to be

Seen by those that are close to me

As if I were well again

Finally able to give back to those that helped me

 

My woes dug a hole so deep, under my feet,

Burying me alive and almost killing me, I was filled with defeat

It was my prison and I thought I was beat

But I’ll get out somehow

There’s so many things, places and people I’ve yet to meet

 

I’ve been nearly silent for a while

Choking on my own bile

Still I grit my teeth and just smile

Because I can still run the extra mile

And scream at the top of my lungs with excitement, sharing my story, just letting it all out

 

Maybe there are those that know what I mean when they hear my words

And flock to them like a nest

Maybe they can learn from my mess

But I digress

 

I’ve finally climbed over a mountain of stress

I’m not at my best

Yet I know that this is a test

To show everyone that I tried, and I know I won’t rest

 

I know at some point I messed up

I fell too hard and I couldn’t get up

But that doesn’t mean I can’t pick my depressed a*s off the ground now

And say enough is enough

And walk through the door of redemption and self gratification

Spending my days full of enlightenment without medication

I want to astound the others around that you can indeed still make a sound when you’re on the top of the mound of fucked up thoughts looking down on them as you live like a cloud

And possibly even help people bound to be the same way

Who continue to struggle everyday

Because their life is just gray

And be it as it may

That doesn’t mean it’s the way it will stay

I thought I’d never get better

So many years spent contemplating death

That I couldn’t live my life

But I've learned how to be me again

To enjoy every minute of my life

The wisdom and that high feeling that you can only get by going so low

Not knowing where my path takes me, but still itching to go

 

Understanding can be learned in two ways, from experience, or from others

So learn from your sisters and brothers, so you know what to expect

And when life gives you a sharp turn, you’ll be prepared

 

If I could just write my younger self a good letter

A poem just something to say it’s ok, to never give up

Or better one to those others in need

Smoking weed to forget what they see

To be honest I hope we all can learn to be the person we want to be

And just lead your soul through the journey that is life

And be happy to live it, as if you’re willing to give it, a second try

Author's Note

This is the first poem I've wrote in a while. I'm been struggling with mental illness, so I'm a little rusty, but please tell me what I can do better and consider reviewing my work. I'm always happy with criticism, it helps me learn.


I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review, because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[Najam Us Saher]

I loved they way you have managed to hold up yourself and write the emotions. I like your nature of having hope and living a life with happiness. Stick to the hope and faith in god then only success and happiness will be yours. Don't be depressed thinking that you are a patient of mental illness you write uncommonly heart touching poems. I am glad to know that you like writing and poetry heals you.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thank you for the support! Your words made me happy.

[Najam Us Saher]

I am even more happy to know that I made you happy. :) you're always welcome

[...]

I think it's a brave and strong piece that too many will find relatable. I like the strength in this voice.
The positive outlook.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I know this is two months late, but thank you for the review.