Little Man

A poem about a young man struggling to stay happy

Once there was a little man

The little man lived with a nice little family

In a nice little town

With a nice little life

And everything was grand

 

The little man loved everyone and was loved by everyone

He went to a nice little school

With nice little students

And nice little teachers

 

He had a nice little job

To support his nice little life

 

Everything was nice little perfection

 

Until one day, the little man saw the flip side, and everything turned gray

The little man could not suspect that this would happen, because he had such a nice little past

And predicted a nice little future

 

He could not suspect it when depression hit like a truck

And insanity started to grow in his mind

The doctor that he saw couldn’t give a f**k

And left only his memories behind

 

His nice little family fell apart

He dropped out of his nice little school

And was fired from his nice little job

And everything was bland

 

Because the little man wasn’t the same

Maybe it was the way they talked about him behind his back

Maybe it was the mental illnesses he was diagnosed with

Maybe it was the tears he cried

Maybe it was just him

 

But he couldn’t take it any more

 

The little man was sad

And he would never be the same

 

He wanted to end his life

But his nice little conviction wasn’t strong enough to finish the job

 

He was taken against his will to a nice little hospital

Locked up, and out of sight

Where he would spend more than 2 years of his life

 

Where he was given nice little pills

While his nice little family visited everyday

And his nice little world grew dark

 

He had a mean little voice in his head

That wanted him dead

His sad eyes were so red

Even though he spent most of his nice little day in bed

 

It was horrible

It was like everything in his life was turned to poison

Nothing was nice anymore

 

Life was dark, cruel, pointless, and had stolen everything it had given him

After all, he had just borrowed this world, and no longer had the money to pay for rent.

 

He met many nice little people

That restored his faith in humanity

 

Only to shatter it again

When they hurt him

 

It seemed like everything the little man touched turned to poison

Every relationship

Every skill

Everything important

 

The poor little man was all alone

 

When he got out of the hospital

He was relieved

And he had a nice little revelation

 

“Things can always get worse”

 

As the years went on

The little man had learned his lifelong lesson

And started to walk down the road to recovery

It was bumpy, and every bump reminded him that things could get worse

It was reality

 

The little man wouldn’t give up

The little man would fix nice little world

And find meaning in his nice little existence

 

The nice little man was no longer little

He had grown up into a young adult

Striving to make it a nice little life again

 

Once there was an old man

The old man lived with a nice little family

In a nice little town

With a nice little life

And everything was grand again

 

 

 

Author's Note

Please review this


I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review, because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[CK_85]

I'm going to review this stanza-by-stanza (though I might skip some if I feel like there's nothing substantial to comment about):

1: I love how you used the word "little" over and over again, but then hit us with "And everything was grand". Really good contrast.
2-4: I'm writing this as I read it, so pardon my inability to see into the future. I have a feeling based on the description that it really isn't. Perhaps you're going to talk about the concept of freedom in a society that tells you to go to school, go to college, get a job, pay your bills, retire, and die, and nothing more. Regardless, let me continue reading.
5-6: I was right about things not going right. I also love how you said that the doctor couldn't give a f**k. It really isolates him from the rest of the town.
7: This is a nice hyperbole as to what really happens. It puts it into perspective who aren't struggling through mental illness.
10: First, I skipped 8 and 9 because it's fairly straight-forward. This man is indeed a man. This would mean that his depression was provoked by something. Why couldn't he be the same? Typically, if depression emerges that late, it's not genetics. Could he not have rebuilt his life? Or, perhaps it's because he can't because of the illness. To that, I'll counter my other monologue half by saying that he could go to a therapist. To which I counter with the fact that if everything is nice, there's no need for therapists.
11: You're doing a fantastic job with the "nice and little". You're putting it in different contexts, and that really pronounces it.
13: I thought it already turned gray, which is dark? Though, I'm nit-picking and semantics-ing.
14: I love this stanza in particular. It really highlights the struggles that people go through with mental illness. I don't know what you're going to say next (again, I'm writing as I read), but maybe you'll say something that tells the audience that thought is the most damaging weapon to someone with a mental illness. I have to ask, and you don't have to answer if this is too personal, do you personally struggle with a mental illness?
15: "Nothing was nice anymore". Nice line!
16: Great metaphors!
17-20: I have to wonder if you'll address the reason as to why this happens, or if you're to leave the reader wondering as to the reasoning behind it.
21-23: Very abrupt switch. It went from pure pessimism to almost something like Taoism. Revelations don't happen that fast (though, this might be hyperbole to help the reader understand it better).
24: Nope, I was right when I said somewhere up there ^ about the fact that the man can make his existence better.
25: Woah! Hold the phone. Now this changes everything! You literally meant "little". You meant he was a child (comparatively). That was awesome! You used a common phrase in a literal sense, knowing that it would be taken as the metaphorical sense, then you revealed how old this person actually was. Now I fully understand why he would believe that his life could be rebuilt. This is a new style of reviewing for me, so I probably sound ignorant up there ^, because I was.
26: Very clean closing. In my opinion, a little too clean. I have to wonder what caused the depression. If it was genetics, then it wouldn't be that clean. If it was just being a teenager, it could be that clean. A lot is left to wondering. But it's not in a bad way. You revealed enough, and gave us a guide. So, it's a good sort of omission.
Overall: Fantastic story! I loved it. I'm giving this the highest rating I've ever given a story before: 98/100. The only reason it's not 100 is because of the abrupt switch from miserably depressed to cautiously optimistic recovery. However, fantastic story! I'm so glad you asked me to read this.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I'm happy you like this story, and I really appreciate the review. I've been struggling with mental illness for a long time, so I know what it feels like. I've spent almost three years of my life hospitalized where I learned to cope with depression. I feel like depression is an issue that is not covered as much as it should be, especially with children and teenagers. So I created "little man" to show a teenager growing up with depression. This poem is about 25% my experiences, but the rest is different. This poem isn't really about me, it's about the struggles people go through, and how things can change at the flip of a coin. When this happens, you have put a lot of effort into rebuilding your life. It could take years, like with the little man.

[Najam Us Saher]

This was a truthful poem on life. It shows the grim reality of life and the way you have continuously used the word nice was really very effective. This poem sticks to the fact that life has ups and downs. This poem also had a good story and I liked how that little man didn't give up even when his faith quivered.

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

Thank you for the review, I really appreciate it! Depression is a big part of the lives of a lot of people. I just wish everyone could be like the little man and not give into it.

[Najam Us Saher]

Yes I agree.