Hate Grenade

A ten syllable per line Villanelle. I hope you enjoy!

I suffer, I fail, let fate prevail

The world ales my frigid form

Life’s hate grenade explodes controlled sorrow

 

Cold tears of God fall from the skies, broken

Cover the ground in white winter death, still

I suffer, I fail, let fate prevail

 

In the frozen world, warriors shiver

There is little forgiveness for sinners

Life’s hate grenade explodes controlled sorrow

 

It covers me, the ugliness, lonely

I am only what they made me, stale

I suffer, I fail, let fate prevail

 

As I rust under the robust loveless

Armageddon, the blood of hell’s heaven

Life’s hate grenade explodes controlled sorrow

 

I remain loyal to the immoral things

That breed cruel figments of humanity

I suffer, I fail, let fate prevail

Life’s hate grenade explodes controlled sorrow

Author's Note

I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[Jackie]

goes together very well lines were structured very nicely

[Ghost writer]

This one sinks in easier than your long ones, I like them too but sometimes I just don't have time and want to find something short, I like the metaphor of a grenade, like the troubles of life building and building until they burst, which goes very nicely with "I suffer, I fail, let fate Prevail"

[Zhavy]

Really enjoy the environment you create with each poem its a dark and bleak place but not a lot of folks get the chance to experience it, the fact you're able to project experience so well speaks volume to your talent, keep it up.

[Pete]

stark, powerful words as is your metaphor. the short, punchy wording and repetition is like exploding shrapnel. against our better judgement, we try to conform to a dark, fallen world living our lives in a "controlled sorrow" ... :)

"I remain loyal to the immoral things"

[Najam Us Saher]

I loved the repitition. Though you are very sorrowful the fact that you wrote 'you let fate prevail' shows how strong you are.

[.]

Loved this new style... Awesomely written! As always I enjoyed it. 😊
Good Luck