Grammy Moore

Met my Aunt Linda and Grammy Moore today, the look of peace found in my Grammy's eyes were amazing.

Oh how the years have gone by,

my do they fly.

Although they took far to long,

twelve years gone.

With every opportunity rising,

I stay denying.

For I must hinder any confusion,

not even an illusion.

 For Donnie's fault it may be,

the reason I cannot see.

Yet finally this day we do unite,

after a tiresome night.

My years are numbered,

close to slumber.

But the peace this has brought,

left doubt a not.

That God has you in His hands,

a young man to stand.

Stand bold strong and proud,

let grace abound.

I dont know how long I have,

but this has made them glad.

So I take each second to marvel,

till you go farther.

To take in who you have become,

and thank the Son.

Bless be you Joey my dear,

have no fear.

You are different from him,

hating sin.

Though we now must depart,

you have eased this elders heart.

Author's Note

Tried out a new writing style that iv never used. help please!

Reviews

[quinfinn]

there is nothing wrong with the writing style you pursue here. it reflects and older era, quite dignified and respectful and fits the piece you have woven. you may want to study some on the works of Keats and Byron if you wish to learn how best to make this style come to life for you, however, you did quite well at putting it in your own particular idiom.

[Sir Joseph]

Thank you! It was a new and wonderful moment that i deemed worthy of trying a new style on:) and i will look into them

[Ohhhwillow]

It's is lovely in format and style too. Your last line is triumphant "you have eased this elders heart", just beautiful :)

[Sir Joseph]

Thank you soo much for the review!!:)

[Ohhhwillow]

*this is, sorry typo
And you are very welcome!

[lee von cleef]

a feast , and on Joseph's feast day too,well done.I think the new coat fits, the soul of the young and old.Maybe feast days are just appointments .

[Sir Joseph]

Thank You

[Tarry Franck]

Magnificent job - love it :)

[Sir Joseph]

thanks!

[Tarry Franck]

my pleasure

[StayAnchored]

This is beautiful! You did a wonderful job :)

[Sir Joseph]

Thabks!:)

[StayAnchored]

You're welcome :)

[Ethale Captor]

Excellent write.

[Sir Joseph]

Thank you!

[Ethale Captor]

No problem.

[Sir Joseph]

Everything about the poem i tried was new. from the different perspective to the rhyme scheme and set up. first legit try at it

[Ethale Captor]

Well done at a first try. It is better than most I have read.

[Sir Joseph]

Improvements por favor?? i know there are many

[Ethale Captor]

If a critique is what you are requesting, I see nothing out of place. An original yet touching piece, I believe it needs no work.

[Sir Joseph]

well thank you for that response but i see so much i could improve on. to me this is mediocre at best

[Ethale Captor]

Keep in mind that we are our own hardest critique.

[Sir Joseph]

yes, however i find that sometimes people hold back in fear or in care of hurting someone

[Ethale Captor]

Trust me, I have no fear of tearing down something and analyzing every little piece of it, I just see no need to here. There are little things, yes, but likewise there is no perfect write.

[Sir Joseph]

perfection is a goal that should be strived for yet with the knowledge of failure

[Ethale Captor]

Agreed.

[Sir Joseph]

but i do welcome criticism

[Ethale Captor]

The only point I could pick out is the measures, the syllables. If you want to write something like this, you must choose wisely your vocabulary so that it all matches up. Other than that, great work.

[Sir Joseph]

thank you!

[Ethale Captor]

No problem.

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

Grammys always mean well..even in scolding...they really mean well..
even in their stories...around campfires..even in their advice...in late hours..
even in their smiles....encouraging to excel!

[marie]

Great job Joey!!:) loved that you used your grammy's point of view in this she seems wonderful!:) can't wait to meet her one day:)

[Sir Joseph]

Me either! :) and Thank you!!:)

[marie]

No problem!:) loved it:)