Bread crumbs and Demons.

Bread crumbs and Demons.

A Story by Sir Psychosis
"

A short Introspective piece I wrote about being in the middle of difficult situations and whether you become a monster to protect yourself of suffer the pain with just rationality.

"
Bread crumbs and Demons.

Breadcrumbs are a little insignificant thing. Even so in the case of Hansel and Gretal. But so Many of us rely on breadcrumbs every day. We need the hope that we are being led onward.. Or towards something. Hoping that the something ahead is better than the something we left behind. So even though we don't know exactly where the bread crumb trail is leading us, we follow. We get some joy at just following blindly, that feels better than the sadness of sitting alone. We prefer to be in motion than to sit.
but what if you suddenly find yourself in a darkening forest, with no more crumbs to follow. And behind you, you realize that the darkness Is already everything. All there is, is darkness, Gradually gaining ground. The thoughts in your head now turn to panic. Was my path not set? Was there a branch off in the trail I missed?? Or is this a mistake I have made? After all I'm human. I followed The trail, I put in the best of my efforts and even when the trail demanded I take the long arduous routes I did, without question and when challenged, I persevered and I thought I was winning.. But wait.. I am human. Humans make mistakes.
Please think, you tell yourself.. What is happening here.. Is this darkness my making?
But before you can make a decision you realize that the darkness is already upon you. And that it was never just darkness, it was a force, an entity and it was always coming straight for you. You may run or you may try to fight it. But the end is nigh and the last thing you tell yourself is that you tried.. Despair envelopes you and you are met with a deep hurt that whether of your making or not there is no hope, no path, no better place. The pain builds and pounds away, burning, aching, You almost can't breath, can't even scream....
Agony... And you almost welcome the darkness...

But you open your eyes and realize you are now the darkness. Or atleast a part of it. You just begin to relax and then... You hear them... The voices. From within you or around, you can't tell.. The darkness doesn't permit that. You hear your demons talking to you. Kept at bay for so long as you found their keys upon the breadcrumb path and locked them up. But this is their territory now. And unbeknownst to you they have been growing, feeding off of you little by little while you ignored them. This part at least was definitely all your making.
The little ones speak up first, Fear and Doubt. They talk softly like your friends or allies. The other's soon make themselves heard though, Anger, rage and hate... They become the loudest and their words enslave you even against your better knowledge or your will, you have no weapons against them. All your weapons were destroyed with the breadcrumb path...

You feel the chill around your heart as it freezes over, your mind becomes clouded And your whole body becomes slowly, numb...
It's almost a relief. The heart that hurt so much is now entirely without any kind of pain. Your mind completely embraces the darkness... Or does it?
In the distance you hear something that even in your darkened state, sends a shiver down to your very core... It is the real darkness, from deep within you and you realize that once it is close, just a look into its eyes is enough. Once you see it, it sees you and neither of you will survive. It will become you and you it, one for all time and in that instance you damn yourself to it, for once you let it take over it will single-handedly destroy everything you ever held dear, till you have no where else, no one else. Nothing. But for your new prison - The Darkness...
You know the direction it comes from and now with no chance of escape something miraculous happens. Turning away from the thing that comes to claim you, you see a glimmer. Not light exactly but mayb a thinning of the darkness, you just begin to move towards the light, but agen, the voices-Like dogs for their master- immobilize you.
They question you knowing as they do that the true darkness Is closer to you than you do. They ask you "Are you hurting?"
and they know your answer
"No",
"Have we hurt you"
"No" you answer...
"so why do you run from us?", and despite the stupidity, you consider. Am I weak? You ask yourself, but you don't know.

What is there to run to? You
dont know. The brea... But you stop, there are no more bread crumbs, no more trail... So you ask yourself
"Why shouldn't I let the darkness take me, become me and smite all and everything around me, use that which has always shielded others instead to burn them asunder, tear them apart and leave all in ruin around me?"
you think and think and the Demons smile, they rejoice and at last you open your arms and almost embrace it... Almost..
A new very quiet and equally as feint voice whispers to you "this is a mistake". You recognize Hope and almost slap it away, but it speaks agen "This is wrong. You know better. You are better!",
"Am I?"
you retort back with the echoing voice of sarcasm, talking almost for you. "Yes!" a new, more confident voice answers "you are; and you can be... So much more". Reason, you realise, and rage laughs with your voice. "Fools!!!" You shout and with you, all your demons shout, their voices echoing from every direction at once... Anger reaches out and takes a hold of you. Instantly, Blood lust fills you and a red mist descends, leaving you snarling and seething, yet as powerful and unstoppable as you feel.... You feel the Dark too, slowly, becoming stronger, you can almost feel it... You are moments from becoming the grand ruination personified, the apocalypse. the Chaos, the Destroyer of all and everything. you are Nothingness, Incarnate!
A new voice speaks, and it is not an echo of your own voice as are the other's... but another's? "Trust", it says simply, not as a demand but as a precaution. Strange and beautiful as it is, you can't quite recognize it, both familiar and yet somehow strange. Hate, Squeezes on your mind now, you scream Long and hard, your very soul on fire with Hatred, but it doesn't fully claim you.... and despite your wishes you calm somehow, you feel, and you hear. You hear the sound you thought lost forever, a heart beat.
Your own heart beat, the single most beautiful sound you have heard. And as you look around you, the darkness lightens visibly but, then the pain wracks your very core, you remember with breath taking agony why you wanted the world and everything within it reduced to ash!... It's crippling and you wish your friends, the Demons would numb it agen. But looking back you see the darkness recedes a little. You find yourself in a limbo. You limp forwards, dragging your dead weight as you try to return to the darkness and the expectant eyes that await you inside it. And it creeps towards you a little, like an old friend, not seen in a while... "Wait, Pleeeease" that same soft voice beseeches to another tremor of absolute pain, but then joy speaks, as does hope and so too does will, "Pleeeease" they all cry together.. You realize that it could only be one voice that could cause you this much pain and this much elation at the same time, Love...
You turn to the one side where Darkness beckons you, and to the other side bright color, not white but a maelstrom of color. You put your hands to your head, pulling your hair against the confusion, the uncertainty, the fear the doubt, the hope, the pain... You stop. Pain, you realize has not had a say, so you listen and "Boom!" it f*****g hits you square in the chest.. You laugh to your self, a mixture of maniacal cackling and tear streaked joy. Pain is the balance, it has no voice, it takes no side, it by its very nature cannot. You can either learn from it and go on stronger, or give in to it and become the most hideous, destructive force of nature yet seen, but Pain has no bias, no judgement and no values, it is simply a balance. It hits you once more in the chest, with 3 questions all more profound and more simple than any asked by either side...
"How much pain do you have to suffer and how much could you avoid?,
How much pain is actually inflicted on you and how much of it is you inflicting it on yourself,
...and ultimately, can you ever Conquer ME?"
You look slowly to both sides...
Decision time!!

-SirPsychosis/Chaos.


© 2017 Sir Psychosis



Author's Note

Sir Psychosis
I welcome all costructive critisisms and comments. I hope you like my work.

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Reviews

Amazing and Brilliant. Very powerful.

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sir Psychosis

9 Months Ago

Thank you so much ☺

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Added on December 21, 2017
Last Updated on December 21, 2017
Tags: Mature, Emotional, introspective, fantasy, selfhelp, decisions

Author

Sir Psychosis
Sir Psychosis

Hayes, Middlesex, United Kingdom



About
Hi. I'm 36 From West London and I enjoy Writing, Art, Reading, gaming and I'm an Uber Nerd/Geek 😊 Also I am diagnosed Combination ADHD, Dyspraxia, Dyscalculia and Bipolar. more..

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