Unfinished Memories

I don't know if this is considered a poem or not but this is the form it took

Fragments, that’s what I have. I’m made up of many form good times and bad. Many hold you, but many without. I wonder now if id of been better without. One that is clear is the one of the rain, falling from heaven washing away pain. When I chased you outside as the sky poured down, making this one of the good not the bad, we laughed in our joy this memory clear. You smiled as I drew you near. We stood in the downpour not giving it mind, arms interwoven, hearts entwined. But now that time is over, crumbled to dust, as is the love and the trust. Still cracked from the fall, not sure what to do. Still left with shrapnel in me from you, moved on with my life, still a bit lost, free from the past but at what cost. 

Reviews

[SydneyLK]

I think this piece is great!
The line "still a bit lost, free from the past but at what cost", was a very good close and very finely crafted. I think all your work needs is a bit of editing and you'd be good to go. Not too much editing though because I believe that the initial expression is often the rawest and most human, connecting to the purest energy within, but often a brief re-write can help.
I hope this was a helpful review!
You really are a promising writer, keep up the good work mate!
I look forward to reading more.

[Brandon Wilson]

Thanks for the feedback, this is all still very new to me and having someone enjoy what I have created feels good. Thanks for the constructive criticism.