Lost

An experimental write. Published in Indigo Rising Magazine 2011.

She was scared. It was the last thing she wanted to admit and yet, the feeling had gripped her. She could feel nothing else but fear in her heart as she stood at the side of the road. Her shiny locks of black hair were flowing wildly in the wind and the cold was stinging her face. She was glad that she had put on some warm clothes before leaving the house.

 

She had left it on her own free will. The first pangs of regret and fear had started surfacing but she tried to calm them down. A figure took shape in her head, undefined because the only thing marking its existence was its voice. The voice that was calm and yet, with a certain force with which it asserted itself. It raised many strong doubts against her decisions and told her to change directions and return. But the girl ignored her, after accepting her defeat at trying to justify what she did.

 

She felt nothing wrong at leaving a place that a few hours ago was a heavenly home. Taking nothing with her, she silently made her way out and did not notice how far she had come, lost in her overwhelming thoughts until her feet ached and the feeling of hunger and dread mixed together, settled in.

 

But then the ugly memories came rushing back and she felt all the more determined to pitch in as much distance possible between herself and…her father.

 

She was angry. She was very angry at him. And yet, the very thought of him brought tears to her eyes and created an uncomfortable lump in her throat. She hated him and yet, she knew that if he were to suddenly appear in front of her, she would run into his arms and promise to forget everything. She delved into many images of an alternative turn of events and yet, she couldn’t shake away the rising apprehensions which hindered her, otherwise, rhythmic walk.

 

Dusk had taken over the cloudy day and the wind was slowing down to a soothing breeze. The gray clouds formed breath-taking shapes and she tried to divert her mind by shaping them into the objects with her imaginative eye. It did not help.

 

She came to a stand-still a few steps later and decided that she ought to return home. She shook her head vigorously as if to throw out her entangled thoughts, turned around and started running. Her feelings of anger gave way to her over-powering longing to be in the safety and protection of her father once again and knew that she would endure his anger just to be with him once more. She was positive that he won’t be angry for long.

 

She thought of how he must have felt when he read that small note she left him. She did not want to recount the words except the ones that said she will never return and tears welled in her eyes at the thought of the extent of pain and anguish he must be going through. A sob broke out and she started running faster with her eyes closed. It was as if the darkness was chasing her back home, guiding her to the place where she was supposed to be. She ran with all her might. Every step was getting difficult to take but she did not care. She had to correct her wrong. She had to go back. Her feelings and thoughts were terribly mixed up and she couldn’t point out what exactly that she wanted or was thinking. She shut out her mind and focused only on the running.

 

The next few moments were a blur. She saw a bright flash and felt as if she had hit something solid with tremendous force. She was thrown back to the ground and with her eyes wide open, she stared at the fluffy clouds. Feeling numb to every sensation, she felt her eyes shutting on their own and the vision getting hazy. The cacophony in the background reduced to whispers as she lost her consciousness. She was falling and falling and falling and not landing anywhere. She did not know if she was breathing. She just lay there in a crumpled heap. Or maybe she was floating on the cloud that was shaped like a huge wave. She did not know. She couldn’t decide if what she was seeing was real or just a product of her imagination.

 

All she felt was anger as she walked on the road into the dimming light with her black locks of hair flowing in the wind. An anger that she felt, never found an end.

Author's Note

My not-so-frequent attempt at story writing. The ending is very unclear and most of you will be wondering what exactly happened? Well, I would like you to interpret it the way you want and tell me about it so I can know how can one thing be perceived in many different ways. In short, I hope you liked it. :)

Reviews

[Sheffer]

You displayed how a child's confusion and fear of running away must be like very well, and it turned out to be a good short story. I'm a bit confused on the ending, and I really can't come to a solid conclusion, but I think I can form what happened in my head eventually. It being a car having hit her at the end seems like a good answer though, but, as you said, you could see it in different ways.

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

I really liked the way you took us inside her head. You wrote her emotions really well. It's hard to be angry at the ones we love in the end, no matter how much they do to us. The way I interpreted the end was that she was struck by a car. Her spirit moved on, but she was angry that she never really got closure or resolved the problem with her dad.

[That Would Be Me]

This could work as an introduction to a deep story.

My random story attempts usually don't convey the sort of emotions you did. It's plot is clear for such an emotional story as well.

I like how you mention the black locks of hair at the beginning and end.

To me, the ending might possibly be spiritual, physical, or mental. She could have met an angel. She could have gotten hit by a car. Or she might have succumbed to a mental illness and imagined everything, but that would just be depressing.

[Poetic Beauty]

This is a great story that has me wanting to read more. You character is easy to relate to and I want to know what happened between her and her father to make her leave home. It am also wanting to know more details to what has happened at the end and why she is so angry. This is a great attention getting piece that draws the reader in and has them hooked.

[ImagineItAll]

I found myself captivated by this story! Most people cannot write so interestingly, with each sentence becoming more infused with captivation, but you definitely have that ability.

As the other reviewers before me have said that the story can have different interpretations during another read, I will be reading this over again.

I honestly wished that the story continued on, but it was such a great ending to such a wonderful piece of writing!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the story. To wander off to the unknown and lose direction can be scary. I like her desire to go home and go forward. The ending was strange. The lights could of been a car not seeing the lone person running. I like her anger when she got up. You are correct. Each time I read the story. I get a different feel. Thank you for the excellent story.
Coyote