Journal entry #2 4/10/2013

This is my second journal entry... i am doing some what better today my bf is alright and stuff just working on myself... i have been thinking about leaving this world.. permanently. But i am trying to work through this and it's funny people think i am writing this to get attention.. but really i am doing it for me and it's so i can get my emotion out so i don't go to school or home and cry my eyes out... But what ever i know i am being true to my self and don't need any of your approval... So if this helps you great, if not of well i will live but just remember that you are you and you don't need to be perfect i know I'm not but i still try to live through every day. And to be honest every day is hard i have to put that fake smile on so i don't cry yeah some days i actually do feel better and i am not upset and i can smile for real but it never lasts something reminds me of a memory, or makes me thinks negatively, or then i remember something i wish could have or couldn't have had happen...

So yeah believe me or not go ahead but my life story has been hell on a roller coaster, so yeah if i tell you my story you would most likely cry and think how strong i am but honestly i don't want your pity.. i just want you to understand i have valid reasons for hating my life.. and my dad and every thing..... so maybe i will post my story but we will see because i hate being judged