Chapter 1A Chapter by 6/10/13 Forever Babe
Chapter 1 in "Forever My Love"
That day. That horrid day. Where my whole life changed. It amazes me where one little choice could change the impact on someone’s life. If I had just CHOSEN to drive Zach to his guitar lesson instead of him doing it himself. If I had just CHOSEN to heed the warning the weather man said to stay off the roads because of the rain. Zach was dead because of my mistake and I would never be able to forgive myself for it.
“Jamie?” the sound of my mom’s voice broke my train of thought. I stared down at the polished stone in front of me.
“Jamie!?” my mom said a bit louder. I answered with a “hm?” but my eyes could not be torn away from the three foot stone in front of me.
My eyes were dry and it had been that way for days. I wasn’t really the crying type. The only time I cried was on that day. In that moment where Zach was being hauled into an ambulance, already pronounced dead. And then once more at the hospital where they pulled the light blue bed sheet over his face. His eyes were closed. I would never feel those gorgeous blue eyes staring intently at me from across my bedroom as I read a book or studied for a test. I would never see his brow scrunch up as he tried to understand algebra or as I confused him by using big words. I would never see him smile when I made him laugh or if he was just happy to be with me. I would never be able to hear his steady heart beat as I lied on his chest while we were curled up on his couch while we watched his favorite movie The Last Samurai for the 100th time. His heartbeat would never again lull me to sleep like a lullaby
“Jamie!” yelled my mom again
“What?!?” I snapped spinning around to face my mom. In comparison to my mom we could practically be sisters. My mom looked young for her age of 45. In all honesty the only thing I think I got from my father was my strength and my stubbornness.
“You’ve been staring at his grave for well over 30 minutes. I have more important things to do, so let’s go!” my mom reached for my wrist but I withdrew my arm and watched as she almost fell on her face.
“More….important?” I drew out each word in a long whisper. My mom opened her mouth and stupid naïve me thought she was going to apologize. But all she said was,
“Yes more important.”
So many words and snarky comebacks formed in my head. But I forced myself to swallow them and just turned my back on her. I heard her sigh as she retreated back to her car. But before she left she said, “5 minutes.” I read the engravement on the stone for the 50th time.
I wanted to add “loved boyfriend,” but I would not disrespect him. The sound of my mom’s horn made me jump. I lingered in my spot for one final moment before jumping in my mom’s car. It felt like I was saying goodbye all over again.
© 2011 6/10/13 Forever Babe
Forever My Love
6/10/13 Forever Babe
Alone....and Dying...., NC
AboutWhat goes on!! My last profile bio was from a few years ago so I decided to start over and update it! I guess you could say I can be bitchy but only when people are the same back to me. But if you.. more..
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