The Battle

The Battle

A Poem by Charlotte

A scarlet blade,
The mask of black,
Here was our battle,
There was no turning back.

As the young sith
Made his stand,
She swiftly charged
With saber in hand.

After the swords clashed,
He extended his arm,
Loudly yelling “Force push”,
While intending much harm.

She stumbled and fell
Pretending it worked,
Letting out a giggle
And a bit of a smirk.

Standing over her proudly,
He knew he was the winner.
Then mom yelled from downstairs,
“Guys, It’s time for dinner.”

© 2018 Charlotte

My Review

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A great memory, who didn't play Star Wars? At first I thought it was a Star Wars poem! It being kids playing was a twist I didn't see coming haha I almost wrote a review about a Star Wars poem

Posted 1 Week Ago

The narrative was tense - with a nice nod to the climactic fight in Star Wars VII - up until the great reveal, which put it right over the top! Nicely constructed! Nothing like a bit of tomfoolery every now and then for a bit of giggling. Well done!

Posted 2 Weeks Ago

Funny and fun. The rhyming scheme fits the piece well. I think you want "wiftly" to be "swiftly" on the seventh line. Thanks.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


2 Weeks Ago

Thank you! Yes, I’m missing an s. Oops. Good catch!
Hahaha it's sweet and silly, I liked it.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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3 Reviews
Added on March 2, 2018
Last Updated on March 12, 2018
Tags: Family, Silly, Humor, Star Wars




Hi. I’m Charlotte. I’m from North Carolina. I finally gained the courage to share poetry that I’ve kept inside. more..