Fall Into Sunlight

A dream, set in the desert of a woman's subconscious.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FALL INTO SUNLIGHT

 

By Michael Smallwood

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Michael Smallwood (c) December 2009

3401 S. Church St

Spartanburg, SC 29306

[email protected]

843-819-8495

FALL INTO SUNLIGHT

 

Dramatis Personae

 

THE VOICE

THE GIRL

THE MAN

MOTHER/WOMAN

FALL INTO SUNLIGHT

 

In the darkness, she stands. THE GIRL. From the darkness, he taunts. THE VOICE.

 

            MAN

Can you hear me?

 

            GIRL

Yes.

 

            MAN

Can you feel me?

 

            GIRL

Yes.

 

            VOICE

So can I.

 

            GIRL

Stop.

 

            MAN

Stay with me.

 

            VOICE

Come to me.

 

            GIRL

Stop this.

 

            VOICE / MAN

Do not fight. Fall. Let yourself slip down. Into warmth. Into weightlessness. Into yourself. Into all and everything.

 

            GIRL

I'll.....I.......no.....

 

            VOICE

It'll be okay. Just fall...

 

She falls. When she hits the ground, she is in the middle of the desert. There is a MAN on a bench, rocking.

 

            MAN

I gotta call someone have to call someone not right now of course cause the phone is all the way in the house and the house is all the way in New York and New York is all the way over there I don't know where I don't know exactly where New York is from here I'm sure it's more than a five hour drive it must be this is the desert and the closest deserts in the United States are in Nevada which is several hours flight from New York City but I'm not even entirely certain I'm still in the United States it could be much longer but I can't know for sure anyway that's besides the point the phone is nowhere close so I can't call anybody but I have to find some help find someone for him.

 

            GIRL

            (waking)

No, no, stop it. You have to...

(she observes her surroundings)

Where am I? Where is he?

 

                        MAN

I don't know who he is but he's probably not here there's nobody here but me never anybody else I would love to meet someone new and talk to them and maybe they can help me I'm so thirsty and hungry and I haven't slept I'm afraid to sleep if I sleep I might not wake back up.

 

                        GIRL

What are you talking about?

 

                        MAN

Hello?

 

                        GIRL

Hello.

 

                        MAN

Are you really there or are you a hallucination I've been seeing a lot of hallucinations lately and I just want to know if you're real or not the hallucinations are a product of the heat and my lack of sleep and my overall feeling of dread and trauma.

 

                        GIRL

I'm real. Where am I?

 

                        MAN

You're in the desert I just said that I'm pretty sure. Are you really real?

 

                        GIRL

I think so. I mean, I'm pretty sure I am. I'm talking to you aren't I?

 

                        MAN

Yes yes you are but it's kinda difficult for me to know the truth all the time because I haven't really gotten a lot of sleep lately or even really taken care of myself as you can clearly tell by my...uh...looks.

 

                        GIRL

Why can't you sleep?

 

                        MAN

I keep having this horrible dream where I'm watching my brother die. He keeps dying in front of me. We got lost out here in the desert and we couldn't find anything he was hurt so hurt he'd cut himself in the crash and there was this blood he was bleeding and there was no water and no shade and I tried everything I could but he just keeps staring forward staring forward with these eyes that can't see anything anymore they just fade out like old lightbulbs. That's what I see when I sleep. Every time. So I haven't slept.

 

                        GIRL

Oh my god. That's horrible.

 

                        MAN

You know. You know exactly what I'm talking about, don't you? You see it too, don't you?

 

                        VOICE

Of course you do.

 

                        GIRL

What are you doing here?

 

                        VOICE

You see it all the time. When you sleep.

 

                        GIRL

Where are you?

 

                        VOICE

Or at least you will.

 

                        MAN

What is it? What's there?

 

                        VOICE

It's a shame, really. Poor guy. Is this one of your nightmares? Is this what you're afraid I'll do to you?

 

                        GIRL

Leave me alone.

 

                        MAN

Alright. I don't intend to bother you. I was just...you asked why I was...

 

                        GIRL

No, listen, you aren't bothering me.

 

                        MAN

I don't bother anybody. I just sit here all day and....stare.

 

                        GIRL

Can I help? Is there any way I can help you?

 

                        MAN

Only if you can enter my mind and erase the dreams and memories. Can you do that?

 

                        VOICE

Can you?

 

                        GIRL

No. I can't. But I can be here for you. Will that help?

 

                        MAN

Why would you do that for me?

 

                        GIRL

You...remind me of someone. Vaguely.

 

                        MAN

It might help if you stay here. It just might.

 

                        VOICE

It won't help you. It really won't.

 

                        MAN

Now I'm hearing voices. I think I'm losing it.

 

                        VOICE

He thinks he's losing it. Trust me, young man, you are losing it. And that woman next to you can't help you. She's a liar. Do you understand that? She's a liar and she'll never help you.

 

                        GIRL

Stop. Stop it. Stop this.

 

                        MAN

Are the voices right? Are you a liar?

 

                        GIRL

No, I'm not.

 

                        VOICE

Liar.

 

                        GIRL

Will you please shut up!

 

                        VOICE

That's not the consoling tone you were taking earlier with our friend here. How's he supposed to trust you when all you can show him is your inner rage?

 

                        MAN

I just want to sleep. That's all I want. I don't want fighting voices in my head. I just want to stop seeing people die. I want to stop seeing my brother die.

 

                        GIRL

I know. I know.

 

                        VOICE

You know what, exactly?

 

                        GIRL

How he feels.

 

                        VOICE

Empty words. All she has for you are empty words. She has no real solutions.

 

                        MAN

There is no real solution for my problem.

           

                        VOICE

Of course there is.

 

                        MAN

What is it?

 

                        GIRL

You don't want to listen to him, okay? Look at me. Look at me.

 

                        MAN

I am.

 

                        GIRL

People do things sometimes that their mind tells them to do, but they don't want to do, or maybe they shouldn't do. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?

 

                        MAN

Your eyes...they're different.

 

                        GIRL

What?

 

                        MAN

I'm sorry, miss, but you have the most sincere eyes I've ever...I'm sorry if that's too forward or...

 

                        GIRL

No, not at all. I've never heard anyone say that to me before.

 

                        MAN

Then you haven't met many honest men.

 

                        GIRL

Maybe I haven't.

 

                        MAN

Remember that?

 

                        VOICE

What?

 

                        GIRL

What?

 

                        VOICE

What was that? A memory?

 

                        GIRL

It's part of whatever you're doing to me.

 

                        VOICE

Liar. See? She's a liar and she can't be trusted.

 

                        MAN

My head...

 

                        GIRL

Listen to me, you just have to relax.

 

                        MAN

I can't relax. My brother is dead. Lying in the sand. Staring that damn stare. Looking through my soul I can't stare back at him I can't do it could you relax if you had to keep seeing that?

 

                        VOICE

That's a very good question. I'm wondering that myself. Could you?

 

                        GIRL

What's that supposed to mean?

 

                        VOICE

It means I could make this you. It's apparently already in your head, on some level. I could make it real. I could have you sitting here on a bench, always seeing ghosts. Like our poor friend here.

 

                        MAN

Endless. It follows me. Every time I close my eyes.

 

                        VOICE

Would you like that? Would you like me to give you endless nightmares?

 

                        GIRL

I'm not afraid of my dreams. I'm not weak, like you.

 

                        VOICE

Did you hear that, sir? She thinks you're weak.

 

                        GIRL

No...

 

                        VOICE

Some counselor.

 

                        GIRL

That's not what I meant. He's trying to...

 

                        MAN

It's alright. I know I'm pathetic. I feel it.

 

                        GIRL

You're not pathetic. Do you understand me? You're not pathetic. You're a beautiful man and I am thankful to have met you. Do you understand?

 

                        MAN

Remember that. Hold on to me.

 

                        GIRL

Just trust me. Look at me again. Look at me. Look at my eyes, okay?

 

                        MAN

Your eyes. They're so different.

 

                        GIRL

Just keep looking into them. What do you see?

 

                        MAN

I see you.

 

                        GIRL

That's good. What else?

 

                        VOICE

What are you doing?

 

                        MAN

I see a...theater. And a woman singing.

 

                        GIRL

Yeah...me too. I see it too.

 

                        MAN

It's lovely.

 

                        GIRL

And do you see any death? Any pain?

 

                        MAN

No. I don't. All I see is hope in your eyes.

 

                        GIRL

Good. That's real good.

 

                        VOICE

And what do you see now?

 

                        MAN

Oh god......OH GOD!!

 

                        GIRL

What? What happened? What's wrong?

 

                        MAN

It's him on my god it's him Jesus Christ I can see him now stop it Stop It!!!

 

                        GIRL

Calm down. Come back and sit down. Just look in my eyes and maybe you'll...

 

                        MAN

He's standing there. Oh God, I can see him when my eyes are open now. He's standing right there. Bleeding. Bleeding and staring that goddamn stare.

 

                        GIRL

It's alright. It's not real. It's just a vision.

 

                        VOICE

It's real. It's very real. Death is real. And it's final. Remember that.

 

                        MAN

I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I couldn't save you. I couldn't. There was nothing I could do. I tried.

 

                        GIRL

Stop this. Don't you see what you're doing to him? To me?

 

                        VOICE

You can end this. You can just tell the truth.

 

                        GIRL

You are such a coward.

 

                        VOICE

He's dying inside.

 

                        MAN

I can't keep looking at this I won't STOP STARING AT ME NOAH YOU SON-OF-A-B***H!!

 

                        GIRL

Come here, come here. Look at my eyes. What do you see?

 

                        MAN

I see death. All I can see is death. And I'm tired. I'm so incredibly tired.

 

                        VOICE

You can just end it all you know. Just end it all.

 

                        GIRL

Do not listen to him. You don't want to do that.

 

                        MAN

Yes I do. It's final. I remember that. It's final. I don't want to see the staring. The eyes. The blank eyes.

 

                        GIRL

What about my eyes?

 

                        MAN

Your eyes lie to me. You're a liar. You didn't help. You said you'd help, and now it's worse. Now I feel worse. Now I have no reason to even stay awake. You left me in the desert to die.

 

                        GIRL

I did not.

 

                        VOICE

You know what you have to do.

 

                        MAN

I'm sorry.

 

                        GIRL

Don't do this.

 

                        MAN

I'm sorry I didn't save you Noah.

 

The Man closes his eyes and collapses. The Girl holds him. THE VOICE enters.

 

                        VOICE

Do you see what your lies do to people? Do you see?

 

                        GIRL

You b*****d! You're killing him!

 

                        VOICE

He's killing himself. He's giving up his life to escape the nightmares. A noble choice.

 

                        GIRL

If that's what you think is going to happen, you're wrong. I'm not going to kill myself.

 

                        VOICE

Is that really what you think I want to have happen? Am I that cruel?

 

                        GIRL

Yes.

 

                        VOICE

This is not cruelty. This is only fair. I will press deeper if I have to, but I don't want to. I didn't want to do it this way. Do you understand that?

 

                        GIRL

I don't believe you.

 

                        VOICE

No, I suppose you don't.

 

                        GIRL

Get out of my head.

 

                        VOICE

No.

 

                        GIRL

Get out of here. You have no right in here.

 

                        VOICE

Will you keep fighting me? It's easier to slide into it. Let go. Fall deeper.

 

                        GIRL

No....wake up....wake up....remember the song....remember the song....

 

                        MAN

I.........can't........reach......

 

The Girl's MOTHER enters.

 

                        GIRL

Mom?

 

                        MOTHER

Hey baby. Everything's alright. Everything's fine.

 

                        GIRL

Mom, what are you doing here?

 

                        MOTHER

You seem scared baby doll. Are you scared?

 

                        GIRL

I can't hold on to him mom. You have to help me hold on to him.

 

                        MOTHER

The weather...is so hot here...I feel like I could melt away. Like I might die out here.

 

                        GIRL

Mom?

 

                        MOTHER

Like I might die out here.

 

                        VOICE

Possible.

 

                        GIRL

Mom are you alright?

 

                        VOICE

Give over to me. And I won't destroy her.

 

                        GIRL

Why are you doing this?

           

                        VOICE

Because I want you. All of you. I will be the only person on your mind.

 

                        MAN

Don't....give....in....can...you....hear....me?

 

                        VOICE

Oh, die already.

 

                        GIRL

Silent night, holy night

All is calm, all is bright

 

                        VOICE

What are you doing? Does that calm you down?

 

                        GIRL

If you're in my head you should remember it.

 

                        MOTHER

That's still your favorite song. You've loved it since you were a little girl.

 

                        VOICE

She taught it to you, did she?

 

                        GIRL

You know she did.

 

                        MOTHER

It's always made you feel safe, hasn't it baby?

 

                        VOICE

Has it now?

 

The Voice touches Mother, and she changes.

 

                        MOTHER

Silent night, broken night

Nothing's changed, nothing's right

I found some hate for you just for show

You would be weaker by sending me home

Don't keep me crying to sleep

Sleep in heavenly peace

                       

                        VOICE

Still feel safe?

 

                        GIRL

Ahhhh! Leave her alone. That's all I have left. That's all I have of her.

 

                        VOICE

And you will lose. Everything.

 

                        GIRL

I can't keep fighting him. I can't.

 

                        MAN

Yes you can. Because I'm here with you. Beside you.

 

                        GIRL

On my own, pretending he's beside me.

 

                        MAN

That's it, hold that. Can you?

 

                        GIRL

What is it?

 

                        VOICE

It's jibberish.

 

                        MAN

It's us. Hold on to it. Bring me in.

 

                        GIRL

On my own...

It's from....the show....we saw together.....

 

                        VOICE

No together. Alone. I'll leave you here forever, all alone. With only your nightmares.

 

                        MOTHER

Goodbye, my darling.

 

The Mother is banished.

 

                        GIRL

No, mom!

 

                        VOICE

You have nothing to hold on to. Just fragments and pieces.

 

                        MAN

Your...eyes....

 

                        GIRL

You said....

 

                        MAN

Your eyes...

 

                        GIRL

You said when we first met...

 

                        MAN

I'm sorry, miss, but you have the most sincere eyes I've ever....I'm sorry if that's too forward or...

 

                        GIRL

And I thought....he's honest....

No, not at all. I've never heard anyone say that to me before.

 

                        MAN

Then you haven't met many honest men.

 

                        GIRL

Maybe I haven't.

And we went to see Les Miserables. And the woman sung so beautifully.

 

                        WOMAN

On my own pretending he's beside me

All alone I walk with him til morning

Without him I feel his arms around me

And when I lose my way

I close my eyes and he has found me

(She keeps singing the song)

 

                        GIRL

It's such a pretty song.

 

                        VOICE

It's nonsense. It's despair and loneliness. And delusion. You know that. You can feel it deep within.

 

                        GIRL

He's right. It's a sad song. Full of longing. Full of hallucinations.

 

                        VOICE

Full of haunting. Full of ghosts. An endless desert of desire.

 

                        GIRL

Like me.

 

                        MAN

Do you remember how you felt?

 

                        VOICE

She remembers nothing but my voice.

 

                        GIRL

I felt...like I loved you. And I thought you knew it.

 

                        MAN

I could feel it too.

And then you kissed me.

 

                        GIRL

And then I kissed you.

 

She kisses him. He rises.

 

                        VOICE

Liar! Coward! She doesn't love you!

 

                        MAN

And we were together from then on.

 

                        GIRL

And we are together. But I have this...

 

                        MAN

I know, and I'm here. I'll always be here. You'll never be lonely.

           

                        VOICE

You'll only ever be alone. Alone in the desert. He can't save you.

 

                        MAN

You can't take her.

 

                        VOICE

I already have.

 

                        MAN

Hold on to me and I'll pull you out. Okay?

 

                        VOICE

No. She stays. The desert will be her grave. With no memory of you.

 

                        GIRL

NO!!

 

The Voice runs at The Man. The Girl throws herself between them. When the Voice collides with her, everything goes bright. The desert stretches on forever, and there are two people. The Girl and The Voice. Many years before.

 

                        GIRL

Where are we?

 

                        VOICE

You don't recognize it? I've never forgotten. I've never left.

 

                        GIRL

You have to stop haunting me.

 

                        VOICE

What else would you have me do? Fade into nothingness and be forgotten?

 

                        GIRL

I'd have you stop torturing me. I just want to live.

 

                        VOICE

Like I never got to?

 

                        GIRL

You collapsed. I didn't have any water. I didn't have anything with me. There was nothing I could have done.

 

                        VOICE

You could have stayed with me. And not left me there.

 

                        GIRL

You died. I did everything I could to save you and it didn't...

 

                        VOICE

Then why didn't you stay with me?!

 

                        GIRL

Noah...

 

                        VOICE

I loved you. I loved you. And you left me to die alone. We could have died together but you chose to leave me alone.

 

                        GIRL

I chose to live. To remember you alive.

 

                        VOICE

Lies. You are a liar!

 

                        MAN

Sarah! Sarah!!

 

                        VOICE

And you've chosen this...man...over me.

 

                        GIRL

Noah, I love him.

 

                        VOICE

You were supposed to love me!!

 

                        MAN

Sarah, hold on...I can feel you. Stay with me. Stay with me.

 

                        VOICE

Get him out of here. Get him out of here right now.

 

                        GIRL

He's a part of me. Just like you. Just like mom.

 

                        MAN

Sarah, if you can hear me, I'm going to try something.

 

                        VOICE

I've destroyed mom. She's not in your head anymore.

 

                        GIRL

Of course she is. She's in yours too.

 

The Mother reappears.

 

                        MOTHER

Noah, what are you doing?

 

                        VOICE

She left me to die, alone in a desert. Don't you dare excuse her for that.

 

                        MOTHER

She loves you, Noah. Your sister loves you.

 

                        VOICE

No she doesn't. I loved her. I loved her more than anything.

 

                        MOTHER

She's you sister, Noah.

 

                        GIRL

Noah.

 

                        VOICE

Stop. Stop it. Stop this.

 

                        MAN

Sarah, stay with me.

 

                        GIRL

No. You need to hear this. I haven't forgotten you. I've never forgotten you. I will never forget you. You are my brother, and I miss you every day. Every single day.

 

                        VOICE

You are lying.

 

                        MOTHER

She is not. Look at me.

 

                        VOICE

Mom.

 

                        MOTHER

Do you remember me Noah? Do you remember my eyes?

 

                        VOICE

I do.

 

                        GIRL

Do you remember mine?

 

                        VOICE

Of course I do. They're the same.

 

                        MOTHER

What did I tell you? Do you remember?

 

                        VOICE

When?

 

                        MOTHER

Before you and Sarah left. Before you died. Look into my eyes. What do you remember?

 

                        VOICE

To look after my sister. To protect her.

 

                        MOTHER

Again.

 

                        VOICE

To look after my sister. To protect her.

 

                        MOTHER

Again.

 

                        VOICE

To look after my sister. To protect her.

 

                        MOTHER

Again.

 

                        VOICE

To look after my sister. To protect her.

 

                        MOTHER

Again.

 

                        MAN

Sarah.

 

                        GIRL

Where are you?

 

                        MAN

I'm here. What's happening?

 

                        GIRL

I think he's stuck.

 

                        MOTHER

Again.

 

                        VOICE

To look after my sister. To protect her.

 

                        MAN

Come back to me Sarah. Can you hear me?

 

                        GIRL

Yes.

 

                        MAN

Can you feel me?

 

                        GIRL

Yes.

 

                        MAN

Do not fight. Rise. Let yourself lift up. Into sunlight. Into weightlessness. Above your dreams. Back into yourself.

 

As The Man chants, The Voice and The Mother disappear.

 

                        GIRL

Where am I? Where am I?

 

                        MAN

Don't stop. Don't lose yourself. Keep rising.

 

                        GIRL

I can't. I'm stuck. I'm in the darkness alone. I can't see anything.

 

                        MAN

Can you hear me? Can you feel me?

 

                        GIRL

The desert. The endless desert.

Noah.

His eyes. Blank. Staring forward. These eyes that can't see anything anymore.

 

                        MAN

Sarah.

 

                        GIRL

They just faded out like old lightbulbs.

 

                        MAN

Rise out. Rise up. Rise into yourself. Wake up.

 

                        GIRL

And I couldn't remember the song.

 

                        MOTHER

Silent night....

 

                        GIRL

When he was dying...

 

                        MOTHER

Holy night.....

 

                        GIRL

I couldn't remember mom's song.

 

                        MAN

Let me in. Let me in.

 

                        GIRL

We saw the play...and I loved you.

 

                        WOMAN

On my own...

 

                        GIRL

And you're beside me.

 

                        MAN

I'm beside you.

 

                        WOMAN

Pretending he's beside me.

 

                        MAN

Wake up Sarah. I have you. I'm here.

 

The Man is there. He's holding her, a hand on her head. The desert has gone. The real world has taken its place. She is asleep in his arms.

 

                        MAN

Sarah, wake up. Sarah.

(she opens her eyes)

Sarah! Are you alright?

 

                        GIRL

I think so. I can't hear him anymore.

 

                        MAN

Relax. Take it easy.

 

                        GIRL

Will I remember...anything about them?

 

                        MAN

You should be able to.  Did you want me to erase them?

 

                        GIRL

No, I want...I want to keep them.

 

                        MAN

Okay.

 

                        GIRL

Stay with me tonight. Could you?

 

                        MAN

Of course.

I'll be right here.

In case the nightmares come back.

 

                        GIRL

I hope they don't.

But you're here.

That should be enough.

 

END OF PLAY