Today I Realized

Today I Realized

A Poem by Saskia Liddick
"

After extensive research, I found out that I am a monophobic, someone afraid of being completely and utterly alone without anyone to look to, to rely on, or to love. The realization is scaring me.

"

Today I Realized

By Saskia Liddick

 

Today I realized there was something wrong,

as I stood up to look out onto a sunkissed street.

Today I realized how happy the children looked,

and I was spending my day finding people to talk to.

Today I realized the true colors deep inside me,

why I enter chatrooms to find a stranger's company.

Today I realized exactly why I do the things I do,

because the monophobia is taking control of me.

 

Today I realized that I am far, far different from the rest,

what I think makes me want to be more what they want.

Today I realized that I will never be able to please them all,

and I just may fulfill my darkest dream, to fall asleep alone.  

Today I realized as I sit inside this badly lit office space,

that all the people I thought loved me were putting up with it.

Today I realized that everything I ever had and smiled about,

is as fake as my nightmares of no one by my deathbed could be real.

© 2010 Saskia Liddick


Author's Note

Saskia Liddick
Ever since I found out that I was monophobic, I haven't been the same, I stopped talking on facebook, I had the desire to stop the book all together, and to just... just... I don't know. For the first time I can't see the sun breaking through the thunder clouds, and it's terrifying me in ways that someone - not eve you dear reader, if you're out there - could begin to understand.
Saskia

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Added on May 27, 2010
Last Updated on May 27, 2010

Author

Saskia Liddick
Saskia Liddick

San Diego, CA



About
Willkommen everyone, come in and sit down. Make yourselves at home, I'm Saskia Liddick, the most energetic and charismatic person you'll ever meet. I've been writing for 6 years, at age ten I left beh.. more..

Writing