Will you see my pain, or leave me to cry, can you see this frown, that I try so hard to hide? Can you tell me what to do, I feel so lost, I can't think straight, this doesn't feel right...
my words are all mixed up, what did you say? I can't see the door, I feel so astray!
Can you help me,
escape the pain? can you please take it all away? cause I can't take it anymore, I need to be free, just take something, and end this for me, please... end it fast and painfree, I don't want to hurt anymore, you see.
I can relate to the angst in this poem. I'm sure that all of us at one point or another have felt this way and you captured it in words. It could be applied to relationship break-ups, life's trials and disappointments, or friendships; a good catch-all for this emotion.
I don't often swear when I am reviewing but damn!!!! This poem expressed so much hurt and sorrow, depression and anguish, and most of all heartbreak, it made me want to cry. one rhythm suggestion on this line: or can you please take it all away? Try removing the word or, it flows much better ;-) Great poem and another for the favorites box
i can connect with the emotions and everything..i believe everyone has felt this way at some point in their life,and if they havent -they will. good work!
I can relate to the angst in this poem. I'm sure that all of us at one point or another have felt this way and you captured it in words. It could be applied to relationship break-ups, life's trials and disappointments, or friendships; a good catch-all for this emotion.
You're so good at this kind of thing. In all of your work, you have an idea, and as complicated and deep it may be, you express it carefully, and clearly. I totally feel every bit of emotion coming through this. You're a really talented writer:)
Hey I'm Somer,
I'm 16 years old,
I'm from Canada! Where the igloo's are ;)
I love to read and write! I've read a lot of books, so if you need any suggestions ask me :) I also love horseback riding.. more..