Dark Night

Dark Night

A Poem by Syldor
"

Despite its length this poem took me forever!

"

Dark night's despair

echoes on a lonely wind

to a place of shattered dreams

where even memories fall like broken glass

and the soul's splintered shards lay dull

where the heart's empty void

is naught but a black oblivion

and a weeping prayer cries out in a whisper

© 2010 Syldor


Author's Note

Syldor
Gosh, all of my poems are so depressing. Which is strange cause I've always viewed myself as a happy person... Ah well. Comments are very much appreciated. Criticism is more then welcome. After all how can I improve if I don't think I'm doing anything wrong?

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Featured Review

nice imagery, favorite line "where even memories fall like broken glass" how fragile our lives and thoughts are.

I know what you mean by looking at your poetry and realizing it's depressing, it's usually easier to write when sad or upset, for when one is happy they are out enjoying life, not sitting writing about it.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is Great, thank you. Canyon Voices will review it, critique it, edit it and give you some feedback. Can you please provide me with your contact info. Phone number and email,

Thanks,
Adirana

Posted 13 Years Ago


wow! beautiful write
excellent

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is indeed quite depressing. Thanks for submitting it to my contest Cynical Literature.

Posted 14 Years Ago


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"Where even memories fall like broken glass, and the Soul's splintered shards..." This is a really powerful pair of images!
"Night's" needs an apostrophe, and the poem, I feel, ought to be broken into separate sentences, rather than one flowing thought, perhaps even short, choppy sentences, to echo the 'shards' idea. But then again, the run-on technique gives a picture of panic, uncertainty, so perhaps it's better left as is! As always, I offer only insights based on forty years' writing; I am by no means the final authority on anything! Nice job, overall!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

nice imagery, favorite line "where even memories fall like broken glass" how fragile our lives and thoughts are.

I know what you mean by looking at your poetry and realizing it's depressing, it's usually easier to write when sad or upset, for when one is happy they are out enjoying life, not sitting writing about it.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You know, i'm not much of one for depressing poems with over-used words like heart/soul/etc - but this -- captured each essence of what you wanted to convey perfectly - the glass fell perfectly into the empty heart, into the darkness with a prayer for hope - it takes a lot to take "old" words and play a new trick, well done!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Great poem
Keep them coming.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I LOVE this poem. Your words paint a beautiful (if tragic) picture. I love your use of figures of speech to create images that last in your mind. You are very talented. I don't really know enough about poetry to give advice other than keep it up. Don't worry about your stuff being depressing. I'm the same way. It seems the depressing words are much easier to find and put emotion to for some reason.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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299 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on November 9, 2009
Last Updated on January 28, 2010

Author

Syldor
Syldor

MO



About
I live in the country on the outskirts of St. Louis. I was born in 1994(you do the math)I've been writing tons of poems, but lately I've started to work on on a story. My interests are wide and varied.. more..

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A Poem by Syldor