Gosh, all of my poems are so depressing. Which is strange cause I've always viewed myself as a happy person... Ah well. Comments are very much appreciated. Criticism is more then welcome. After all how can I improve if I don't think I'm doing anything wrong?
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nice imagery, favorite line "where even memories fall like broken glass" how fragile our lives and thoughts are.
I know what you mean by looking at your poetry and realizing it's depressing, it's usually easier to write when sad or upset, for when one is happy they are out enjoying life, not sitting writing about it.
This is Great, thank you. Canyon Voices will review it, critique it, edit it and give you some feedback. Can you please provide me with your contact info. Phone number and email,
"Where even memories fall like broken glass, and the Soul's splintered shards..." This is a really powerful pair of images!
"Night's" needs an apostrophe, and the poem, I feel, ought to be broken into separate sentences, rather than one flowing thought, perhaps even short, choppy sentences, to echo the 'shards' idea. But then again, the run-on technique gives a picture of panic, uncertainty, so perhaps it's better left as is! As always, I offer only insights based on forty years' writing; I am by no means the final authority on anything! Nice job, overall!
nice imagery, favorite line "where even memories fall like broken glass" how fragile our lives and thoughts are.
I know what you mean by looking at your poetry and realizing it's depressing, it's usually easier to write when sad or upset, for when one is happy they are out enjoying life, not sitting writing about it.
You know, i'm not much of one for depressing poems with over-used words like heart/soul/etc - but this -- captured each essence of what you wanted to convey perfectly - the glass fell perfectly into the empty heart, into the darkness with a prayer for hope - it takes a lot to take "old" words and play a new trick, well done!
I LOVE this poem. Your words paint a beautiful (if tragic) picture. I love your use of figures of speech to create images that last in your mind. You are very talented. I don't really know enough about poetry to give advice other than keep it up. Don't worry about your stuff being depressing. I'm the same way. It seems the depressing words are much easier to find and put emotion to for some reason.
I live in the country on the outskirts of St. Louis. I was born in 1994(you do the math)I've been writing tons of poems, but lately I've started to work on on a story. My interests are wide and varied.. more..