Hold My Breath

Hold My Breath

A Poem by Marlena

Previous Version
This is a previous version of Hold My Breath.



You said you would love me and you did

but I can't escape thoughts of loneliness

and I can't help this strange urge I feel inside

you said it was all right, 

and still I tried

You said you'd protect me and you did

but I keep making scars and marks I can't cover anymore

words pass through me and insults swim in my veins

I'm wrong, I'm always wrong, I can't cover anymore

I'm all wrapped up in chains

Oh, I asked you to breathe life in me

and you did

- inhale, now, please.


I told you I'd love you and I am

I can see it in your eyes and on your face

you've told me through silence

your disgrace,

It'll be all right. 

I told you I'd protect you and I tried

but I see these scars appearing and I know why,

I hear words tumble from you and see your pain

You aren't wrong, you aren't wrong, and I know why.

I'll break away those chains. 

You asked me to live and I've given it to you

I'll hold my breath now,

I'll hold my breath now. 

All for you.


© 2009 Marlena



Author's Note

Marlena
Personal, I guess. Top part is a girl speaking, bottom part is a guy speaking. Just let me know what you think, okay?




Reviews

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Nia
I feel for the top strongly, i am going through this now.. you could also say this poem is of the girl stating her emotions and hopeing the second stanza is the response, hoping to be understood. this poem is amazing, i see why it is your favorite! dont change a thing- perfect!

Posted 1 Week Ago


Wow what a truly amazing poem!! You said you wanted criticism but I am afarid I have none to give!

Posted 2 Years Ago


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ReD
caught off guard.. it simply spoke everything just everything ...,Thanks to one who wrote it :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


I think a lot of emotion went into creating this poem and it is clearly displayed by the way your write, your words are perfect for capturing a perfect imagery into a person's mind when reading it. Amazing write.

Posted 3 Years Ago


this is amazing!!! so beautiful!

Posted 3 Years Ago


i really liked it. easy to relate to, definitely!

Posted 4 Years Ago


definitely enjoyed this. kinda feel like reading it again :D great job

Posted 5 Years Ago


well this is what am felling right now so it made me fell great when i read it(=

Posted 5 Years Ago


it was amazing very deep

Posted 5 Years Ago


This is amazing, no doubt about it. I felt like i was either character as i was reading. :) Thankyou for the magnificant display of emotion!

Posted 7 Years Ago



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2 Reviews
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Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on December 26, 2009
Last Updated on December 26, 2009
Tags: breathe, death, suicide, cutting, cut, hurt, pain, broken, love, life, living, go, on, inhale, hold, my, breath, dying

Author

Marlena
Marlena

NY



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