Nirvana

 

Sweet conformity

Grasps, but some resist, fearing

Its cold nirvana

Reviews

[Taja B.]

I like the message behind this senryu. My interpretation of this senryu is that people don't want to give in to conformity because it could be bliss because you are just like everyone else and you don't have to worry about anyone picking on them for who they're are. However, they don't want to give in to comformity because they don't want to be the cookie cutter of society, instead of being who they want to be. And I'm one of those people who fears conformity. And I hope some people would give in to non-conformity soon.

Well anyways, I really enjoyed this senryu in general and I thought it was well written.

Nice job.:)

[Raef C. Boylan]

Nice senryu.
I like the subtle oxymorons: "Sweet conformity", "cold nirvana".

Would love to see you tackle this within a less-limited, extended piece, i.e. a longer poem or story - i think you would make a great job of it. Maybe you already have?

Thanks for posting this.
A warning against taking the easy way out.

[Kelly Scheppers]

I'm a big fan of saying the most with the least amount of words. I applaud your effort!

[Lydia Shutter]

A great senyru! Conformity is never truly sweet, is it? In order to grasp it, we must leave behind all we believe in...all we hold to be true in our hearts and souls. You have said so much in your succinct poem. Lydia

[S. P. Vaporis]

conformity strangles creativity. a cold nirvana indeed!

[Gypsy Willow]

I definatly agree. Conformity is evil masked by innocence. Good piece.

[Erotic Goddess]

Of course not. Conformity is like a wretched curse. This is an incredible piece and you write so well. Thank you for sharing this with us.

XXOXX

[Chantal-lise Mirman]

Wonderful senryu! Great word choices... and I like the image you used for an icon, too! So much meaning crammed into the words, "Sweet conformity!" Yes, the kind of cloying "sweetness" Kellogg's is promising to take out of their cereals... or the Roach Motels use as bait to attract the doomed insects! Nice, using such a relatively positive word in such a negative way, without belaboring the point... "Grasps" is also a good word choice, as it implies a less than a less-than-autonomous choice made by those who are snatched up by "conformity." It might be a bit more powerful if you kept it in the first person, saying, "but I resist" - plus it would even more clearly support the notion that that is what one SHOULD do... in this case, respect the fear... And "cold nirvana" is a great juxtaposition of words which don't belong together and make a powerful point by their unlikely alliance! You mention that you just started writing! Hard to believe, but it's obviously what you were meant to do! This is the first of your work I have read, and I am very impressed.

[Robert Luna]

The questioning of who we are and what it is that we search for. We all strive to be different but if we ever truly achieve that we find loneliness waiting there for us. Because to be truly different you no longer seek acceptance from others and will no longer receive it. It is human nature to need others so we so often will conform to a groups way of thinking to feel a part of something more than just ourselves. Great thought provoking piece.Wonderful Job!!!!

[Selena Chapman]

I couldn't agree with you more. Mystifies me that we as individuals are expected to be like everyone else. Conformity of thought, of ideals, of appearance, how dull the world would be if we were all the same! Good job with this one.