Lifetime of innocence in a bar

Knowing endless possiblities as i sit and drink cheap whisky

watching a fly through glass

my long red hair flowing down my tight brown leather jacket

my tight jeans and my dark colored boots

the bar tender stares at my chest seeing how my shirt takes its form

seeing smoke come from the cigrett , the guy sitting next to me

with drink in his hand and a smoke in the other, he looks at my thighs

I feel their eyes on me like prey, as i keep my eyes on the fly

memories ponder, on and on

 

A drunk walks in with a corolla beer

side to side is his steps , falling , clumsy , spills his beer

so sad , he walks by

Heavy stench of garbage, cum, and days rotten food

he walks by my back

and sits by the near corner table with his friends

I turn to see his face and all i see is a dead beat man, scrffy man, brown short hair

eyes darker than brown but lighter than black

young

could be handsome if he knew what a shower and shaving was

but so wrecked that reality its self can not help him

 

Clan of s***s walk in now,  most of them wearing mini skirts and short top shirts to show off their fake tan , and belly button rings, and tramp stamps and tatoos that leads to a mans favorite place

they sit in the center which is typical cause they of course thrive off the attention

dosent matter who it is

it can be an old man... a bum....pack of collage guys that use women,a bar tender....anyone they just need the attention though or they will never be happy

 

I drink my last sip of my cheap whisky

take a 5 dollar bill from my back pocket

and i open it up and right on it in black bold letters with a pen

"I've tasted better"

            folded it up and left it under the unperfectly round glass.

 

 

      "Philosophy is an elegant thing, if anyone modestly meddles with it; but if they are conversant with it more than is becoming, it corrupts them.”

                                 -Plato

 

 

 

Reviews

[Trevor]

Spelling errors and grammar mistakes, though they can be seen very easily, still don't distract too much from the fact that this story is kind of awesome haha. It's very realistic and as someone else's review said: it's badass.

[brianna vega]

wow love it reminds me of how i think ahaha have u read my mind dear? stolen a memory perhaps?

[Tony]

Could I please have the address of this bar?
Definitely a place rich in culture and disease.
My favorite kind!

[alan khan]

kickass opening line. awesome work. everything in this, was great.

[J.R Schlievert]

A very interesting story, a lovely imagery and how realistic it is. I love how you place that comment at the end. It really brings a sense of intelligent in which this girl possesses. The story is unraveling before my eyes.
Some issues with grammar I'm afraid. However, if you fix the grammar problem. This is a very realistic, somewhat humorous and brilliant story.
PS I love it how she writes. "I've tasted better" on the five-dollar bill. LOL ;-)

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Wow. What a badass! I was blown away by this story.
I just love anti-heroes.

*I've tasted better* ---> That was awesome.

The only bad thing about this story was that it ended.