I Loved a Soldier

I watch him intently, 
as he walks towards me 
with baby steps, 
some news i foresee 
He halts and stands, 
one step away 
lifts his palm to my face 
cups my cheeks, and that gaze 
I've got news for you, he says 
And he speaks, his voice resonates, 
in my ears, I stare blankly into the oblivion 
as I try to registers those words 

He's leaving me again.. 
Just like he does each time, 
And my world comes to a standstill. 
He promises me, he'll be back 
just like always, I'm dumbstruck 
He turns around to leave, 
And I wish to stop him, hold his hand, not let him go. 
Instead I scream. 
But I find no voice, none whatsoever.. 
Come back, is all I can whisper to myself 
my head hung low, 
tears threatening to spill 
With a promise to return, 
he packs his bags, 
and begins his sojourn... 

I stand at my door, 
his bus he boards 
And i see so many other army men 
I wonder, for their family, is it the same? 
I wave my hand at him, 
Bid him goodbye, 
tears falling down 
and not once, he turns around... 

My days are dull, my nights empty 
his memories almost tempt me, 
Its been eight months, and days twenty, 
that he's been gone now 
And I drag my existence somehow.. 

There is nothing else 
but a fear and sorrow, 
of what would it be like, tomorrow! 
The phone buzzes, and i rush to receive it 
I know its about him.. 

I clutch the device in my hands, 
And press it to my ears, 
The war's over, they say 
But I keep my happy dance at bay 
For there's more, I hear 
I hear that in their tone, 
and i choke... choke on the smell of your cologne. 

The doorbell rings, twice.. thrice.. 
I walk towards the door, 
everything is so surreal.. 
My existence, it seems has lost meaning 
On the door, I see four men, 
they bear a palanquin.. 
And one other, stands with a wood case 
"these are all thats left of him", he says 
With trembling hands, I unlock the door, 
The general hands me over the box, that man 
My heart burns in anguish, at the sight 
of those collectibles, they belonged to him.. 

Another packet, an envelope, 
he handed over,"These he'd written for you", he said 
What'd I do with those writings, 
those pieces of paper, 
For everything has lost meaning without him.. 
My life, now, is just a whim.. 
Though he broke his promise, his words he didnt keep, 
at every memory of him, my heart does a leap, 

Dressed in black, now I stand 
at his funeral march, on that barren land 
where he lay his life for the country.. 
leaving me with tears plenty.. 
I gape at the men, they fire the guns 
one, two, three...i count the shots, they're twenty one.. 

And I find myself, 
holding the burning log, 
I mock at my fate, 
For I lived to see such a day, 
when his body I'd have to cremate. 

Brutal pain pierces through my soul, 
as i bring myself to face the truth whole.. 
With my tears flowing like a raged river, 
I set fire to his mortal remains 
And I step behind, 
from the funeral pyre 
from my wish to vanish with him, I refrain... 

Dusk settles in, I still stand there, 
wondering what had I done so wrong 
to have lost my love like this.. 
even though my whole life, with him I belonged.. 

I know tomorrow will be a beginning new, 
of a new life, and it'll be a path rough.. 
To make the ends meet alone though, it'll be tough... 
I mourn and weep, over the promises he did not keep 
But none of these million tears I know 
would bring him back to me 
For this is my life henceforth, 
sans him, sans any glee... 

Author's Note

It's a bit lengthy. And, a figment of my imagination, along with a dash of reality.
:)

Reviews

[Pretty_as_a_Poet]

Wow... I loved this!

[.]

OMG...too leng.......ly.........................offff.....one min...let me dry my sweat :)
so, powerful...i can 't write more ......but wanna say........EMOTIONAL ATYYACHAARRRR"

[Nithin Purple]

well laden with doom emotions...thanks for this share:)