The Lake

 

For Lance Bass and Reichen Lehmkuhl

 

 

“I’m already there,” Will sang. “Take a look around. I’m the sunshine in your hair. I’m the shadow on the ground. I’m the whisper in the wind…and I’ll be there till the end. Can you feel the love that we share? Oh, I’m already there…” Alex continued to secretly listen to Will singing his Lonestar songs and watched as Will stuffed an invitation in an envelope to a distant relative—his or Will’s, he didn’t know—whoever it was would throw a royal hissy fit if they weren’t invited. They still wanted invites so they were recognized as family and so they could scoff at it self-righteously and physically display their disapproval by tossing the invite in the trash.

 

Alex turned his head and stared out from his spot by the window. He took in the crystal clear lake and how the forest, mountains, sky and clouds were reflected perfectly like an exact mirror image. Focusing on the mountains for a second, he remembered the first time he and Will went hiking there for the first time—and learned the joys of altitude sickness. He would never live down how he threw a very childish tantrum—which forced them to end the trip earlier. The smell of pine trees intoxicated his senses, as well as the sensation of the cool, clean water soaking his feet as he sat at the edge of the dock. It was so quiet and peaceful, safe from the everyday realities, insanity and dangers of life in the city. Buying this small cabin in the mountains was the best thing Will and he did. Deep down though, Alex knew Will loved LA and he had wanted to get married in the city. Alex was able to talk him into getting married at the lake they were now living at, but Will continued to worry about how their guests were supposed to get to the lake having to drive up into the mountains they had never driven in before. It also didn’t help that Will’s older sister was allergic to pine trees.

 

“She’ll be sneezing through the whole ceremony,” Will complained, his Southern accent showing his brand of annoyance. “And you know how loud she sneezes. And her husband’s going to be a complete jackass about it and I might punch him in front of God and all of those people…” Alex bit his lower lip to keep himself from laughing. True, Will wasn’t too fond of his brother-in-law (he wouldn’t even call him that; he was either, “my sister’s husband” or, “that mother f*****g a*****e”), but Will couldn’t throw a fist to save his life.

 

No, but he kicks really hard, Alex reminded himself, remembering how much it hurt falling off of his side of the bed. He knew he should have gotten carpet. To hell with the vacuuming he’d have to do.

 

Alex jumped a little bit, feeling his cell phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at the caller ID. He rolled his eyes.

 

“Hello?” Alex said into his phone.

 

“Hi honey,” his mother responded back to him. “How are things, sweetie?”

 

“They’re alright, Mom. Will’s getting some of the invitations ready to get mailed off.”

 

“Is that right? Is William working nice and hard for you so you can work on your stories?” Alex squinted at the undertone his mother had at mentioning his new writing career.

 

“Yeah, he’s working hard, as usual,” Alex said, eyeing his stack of papers that made up the chapters of his new book. “You and Dad are coming up, right? For the wedding?”

 

“Of course sweetie, you know that.”

 

“Yeah, I just wanted to make sure, you know. I mean, I know Dad wasn’t exactly happy when we…you know, told him.” His mother sighed as she switched the phone to her other ear.

 

“Well, you know, if you had told us earlier he might have taken it better. You always have to put things in ways that you know will get your father upset and you don’t talk to us often enough anyhow! I mean, your brother calls in at least once a week if not more than that…” Alex’s eyes shifted to the lake and noticed how the sky had gone cloudy. He missed the sunny day at the lake already. The dark forest green hue eased his irritated mood and soothed his mind. He remembered swimming in the lake and feeling the cool water against his skin and how good it felt to come back up for air after swimming under the surface for a while. That sounded good right now. He drummed his fingers on his knee and saw the forest’s reflection in his silver engagement ring. He smiled as he felt the same feelings he had staring at the lake seep into him again thinking about what that ring represented.

 

“Alex? Are you there?”

           

“Huh?”

 

“Are you listening? I asked you if Marie is going to be there?”

 

“Yeah, she is. Will invited her.”

 

“I can’t believe he’d do that…”

 

“That’s his mother, Mom,” Alex said half-heartedly, trying to ignore the memories of his mother and Will’s mother fighting all the time.

 

“Well, you remember to send us your invitation to us, you hear? And don’t forget Uncle Ted, he’s going to want one too.”

 

“Mom, he probably won’t even show up. Why do we need to worry about him? You’re not even that close to him.”

           

“He’s family, Alex. You can’t ignore him—just like William can’t ignore his mother.” Alex felt all of his arguments bubbling under his skin.

           

“Alright, fine.”

 

“Ok, then. I’ll see you at the wedding ok, sweetie?”

 

“Yeah, ok, Mom.”

 

“I’ll tell your father you said hello. I love you Alex.”

 

“Love you too, Mom.” Alex hung up the cell phone and tossed it onto the smaller couch nearby. He glanced over at Will, who was still diligently working on the invitations.

 

Alex watched as Will ran his fingers through his gelled blond hair and checked off a numberless name on the list of guests. Alex got up and stretched before walking to Will.

 

“Come to the lake with me,” Alex said rubbing Will’s shoulders. Will looked up at Alex.

 

“Right now?” Will asked, his green eyes widening a little. “But it’s starting to get dark.”

 

“I wanna go to the lake,” Alex persisted, pulling Will out of the chair. Will’s hand barely missed the bottle of beer he was nursing.

 

“Alex, what the hell?” Will said, following after Alex through the sliding glass door that led to the path down to the lake. “We have all this s**t for the wedding left to do and all you wanna do is go to the lake?” Alex pulled Will close for a hug and stared into Will’s eyes.

 

“Your eyes are the exact same color as the trees,” Alex said softly. Will looked up into Alex’s sky blue eyes and gave him a knowing smile.

 

“How many guys did you use that line with before me, huh?” Will asked with a smirk.

 

“Only you,” Alex said cradling Will’s chin with his index finger and thumb. Then Alex smiled goofily. “It depended on what color the guy’s eyes were you know? I mean, I couldn’t say they were the same color as the forest if they were s**t brown you know what I mean?” Will rolled his eyes and shoved Alex away.

 

“Let’s go to the lake before we have to bust out our dinky little key chain flashlights,” Will said, pulling Alex down the path like a scolding parent to a child.

 

Reaching the end of the path, it led to a small clearing where a tiny pier was built on the edge of the lake. Deep green forest surrounded the small lake and snow coated peaks roses to the incoming gray clouds. Alex took a deep breath and let the air fill his lungs.

 

“The family is going to love this scenery,” Will said quietly, admiring the lake. Alex sighed deeply and a smile crossed his face.

 

“Let’s take a dip,” Alex said. “Like we used to when we first moved here.” Will’s eyes widened again as Alex breathed in the scent of pine all around him again.

 

“Are you crazy?” Will said. “It’s almost sun down! You have any idea how freezing cold it is?”

 

“I can keep you warm,” Alex said, tugging on Will’s shirt. Will pulled back.

 

“No way,” Will said, putting his hands up. “Not right now. It is way too cold for us to be doing that, and we still have work to do. We still have a mountain of invitations to go through and mail off and we need to get that done by Wednesday. Alex, come on, let’s get back, we don’t have much time to do all this.” Alex sank down and shook his head.

 

“What?” Will asked.

 

“You’ve been doing nothing but work, work, work,” Alex said crossing his arms. “If it’s not about the wedding, it’s all that busywork you give your students. If it’s not that, you’re going through all our bills and freaking out over how we’re going to pay them all. It’s always something. I haven’t been able to spend any time with you anymore, not ever since I asked you to marry me.”

 

“Hey, someone has to do work in this house,” Will retorted. Alex gaped.

 

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” Alex demanded. “I may not have a regular job anymore, but I do work my a*s off writing those novels and then running around looking for publishers! Will, all I’m trying to do is make my dreams come true! I got tired of teaching so I could live paycheck to paycheck; don’t you want a man who wants more in life than just some job that pays bills?”

 

“But someone has to make sure we have a roof over our heads,” Will said back, gesturing over his head. “Someone has to make sure we have food on the table. If we’re having this wedding, someone has to plan it. And if you want to be married to me, you need to straighten up your act and take on some responsibility!”

 

“Christ, you sound just like my mother!” Alex shouted.

 

“What, squeaky and whiny because she can’t get her way all the time?” Will snapped.

 

“Don’t talk about my mom like that,” Alex said in a low, dangerous voice.

 

“Then tell your mom to stop talking s**t about MY mom,” Will said in an equally low and dangerous voice. “And tell your dad to stop talking s**t about my family. He’s not exactly citizen of the month either.”

 

“It’s not my fault my dad acts like he does,” Alex argued. “It’s not my fault he wasn’t raised to deal with Southerners like you.”

 

“My dad wasn’t raised around gays, but he doesn’t call his own son a f*g either,” Will sneered. Alex’s eyes darkened.

 

“Take that back,” Alex said, his voice hollow. Will crossed his arms and looked directly into Alex’s eyes.

 

“You’re defending him,” Will stated dryly. “You’re defending the man who damn near threw you out of his house and his life for being a f*g.”

 

“He’s my father,” Alex said firmly. Alex tried to ignore what looked like sparks of tears in Will’s eyes.

 

“You’re defending the man who treated you like s**t for being gay over the man you’re marrying,” Will said, his voice completely devoid of feeling. Alex struggled to bring his argument to his lips.

 

“He’s family,” Alex said, his voice giving out. “My flesh and blood. You don’t just abandon family.” Will stepped back from Alex.

 

“Blood's pretty bitter," Will said coldly. “I guess blood's more important to you than love.” To Alex’s horror, Will pulled off his own matching silver engagement ring and threw it in the lake over Alex’s head before running back to the house at the top of the hill. Alex froze in place, unable to stop Will from running to the house and away from his life. The darkness from sundown blackened the green forest.

 

                                                *            *            *            *

 

A fantastic, almost full moon made the mountain glow in a white, pure light. The clouds had left the lake and everything was clear again. Alex wished he could have said the same for himself. He ran a frustrated hand through his medium brown hair, feeling the dried gel in his hair crack at his touch. He sat up on the couch, putting his chin on the top of the couch, staring out the glass door.

 

Without thinking about it, Alex got up from the couch and opened the sliding door, not bothering to put his shoes on. He walked the dusty path to the lake, gaining speed as he came down the hill and running by the time he got to the little wooden pier. To stop himself from running off the edge of the pier, Alex sank to his knees at the edge and put both of his hands on the posts to keep himself from falling in. Alex looked at his reflection in the clear water. His sky blue eyes looked back up at him, just as blue as he felt. His eyes traced the edges of his well-carved face and then down to his perfectly chiseled torso until his reflection ran out. He looked back up again at his face’s reflection and studied it a little closer. He shuddered when he realized that he looked like his father more than ever.

 

Alex threw his hand at his face’s reflection in the water and his left hand slipped. The top half of his torso was teetering over the edge of the pier and his right hand sank to the muddy bottom of this shallow edge of the lake. Alex pulled himself up and when his right hand emerged out of the water, he pulled the silver ring from the mud. He pinched the ring between his index finger and his thumb and remembered the superstition about wearing another person’s engagement ring.

 

Alex sat there, just admiring the lake as he had always done. This place meant so much to him. He remembered the first time he was ever up there. It wasn’t a month before he met Will. It was fate that he found Will the way it was fate that he found this secluded lake. But why? Why did this lake mean so much to him? Why did he hold so much love for this place?

 

Alex looked at the ring in his right hand and wiped some of the mud off before seeing the reflection of the forest and the lake in it. Once his thoughts were as clear as the sky above him and the lake in front of him, he left.

 

                                                *            *            *            *

 

“Alex! It’s so good to see you!” Alex forced a smile onto his face when he saw his Aunt Betty walking briskly towards him. He hugged her plump body and willed her to go away in his mind. He pulled at his stiff shirt collar. He tugged on it a little bit, walking amongst the guests, trying to be polite. He watched as the little kids his relatives brought were running around, and how they were screaming at their children to please not ruin their immaculate church attires. Alex looked up and saw a familiar person walking towards him. If there were anything that would make him want to commit suicide before his own wedding it was the sight of his—

 

“Hey, what’s up little bro? Taking the plunge, huh?” His older brother clapped a strong hand on his shoulder, nearly knocking him over.

 

“Yeah, I am,” Alex said, trying to make sure that his brother’s hand wouldn’t break his shoulder. His older brother gave a hearty chuckle.

 

“Yeah, you are. God, I thought you’d never get married! I thought I’d be the only one with kids and a wife man! I mean, I was starting to get so sick of Mom and Dad saying how HAPPY they are for us and…” Alex glared at his older brother as he went on with his disguised bragging. If he was really that sick of it, why did he have to keep saying so?

 

If that’s what a perfect son does, I’m just peachy being imperfect then, Alex thought to himself. He heard someone clear his throat behind him.

 

“Are you ready?” the judge asked in an unenthusiastic voice. “It’s time to start the ceremony.” Alex sighed.

 

“Yeah. Is Will ready?”

 

“We’ve both been waiting for you,” the judge said. “You said you wanted to start at eleven, and it’s five till. You better get ready now.” Without another word, the judge went to the pier, waiting for the grooms and the family to order themselves.

 

                                                *            *            *            *

 

“I thought they called off the wedding,” Alex’s cousin whispered to his sister-in-law as Alex came down the pier to the wedding music. “I heard Will was being a stubborn a*****e who was bad mouthing the family.”

 

“And waste all the money he spent making his dream wedding come true?” his sister-in-law whispered back. “Not likely. If he’s going to front a bill for Alex, he’s going to make sure Alex makes it worthwhile.” Alex’s sister-in-law straightened up and smiled politely as he passed by her. Alex saw Will’s sister out of the corner of his eye give Alex’s sister-in-law a filthy look for gossiping during a wedding, but remained silent and gave Alex a look of encouragement before sneezing. The judge waited patiently but unenthusiastically, trying to keep his left wrist with his watch down at his side. Will was already at the end of the pier, waiting for Alex to come to him. When Alex reached the end of the pier, Will sighed and grabbed Alex’s hands like in rehearsal and bowed his head.

 

Alex looked out onto his side of the audience, trying to ignore the sneezing from Will’s side. His mother and father watched, still not looking thrilled to see another man marrying their son. Uncle George obviously forgot to turn on his hearing aid because from the middle of the audience, he could hear him reciting Leviticus under his breath. Aunt Linda was watching, almost having a heart attack thinking that the end of the world had certainly arrived. If some of his cousins could get away with it, they would be covering their children’s eyes so they’d know that what they were seeing wasn’t something to be repeated again. But that would be too rude—always good to look tolerant and respectful. They were supposed to be supportive of him; he knew that if he ever pulled any of this at their weddings, his parents certainly would have called him out on it and asked him why he couldn’t be more like his perfect brother.

 

“Alexander, you have written your vows for William, I presume?” the judge asked in a bored voice after Will recited his vows from a note card. Alex had no doubt that Will loved him as he stated a few times in his vows; that was the very reason why he was marrying him. Alex only feared that Will didn’t believe he was making the right choice to marry him, even after a second, ring-less and desperate proposal. Alex pulled out the piece of paper, hoping the fresh ink wouldn’t smudge from being folded his in pocket.

 

“Not long before I met you,” Alex started, his voice starting to shake, “I went on a road trip alone. Something inside of me was telling me I had to be alone for this. I needed to get away from the city and from everything that felt like it was suffocating me. I found this place. I looked around. The lake was so clear that the reflections in the water were so perfect. I remember how the soft scent of pine filled every breath I took. I loved the feeling of the sun drenching me, but not burning me. I loved how the water felt to my warm skin. I didn’t remember the last time I felt so at peace and at one with nature. I guess it’s safe to say I fell in love with it.” Alex saw Will sink at his words. He smiled at Will reassuringly.

 

“But that couldn’t last. I had to leave; I had a life to come back to. What broke my heart the most was when I realized that the lake wasn’t truly a home—it was an escape. I needed a home. I needed a place to rest my lonely heart. But more importantly, I needed to be loved by the one I felt this love for. Then I met you.” Alex let the paper drop to the pine needle covered ground.

 

“Do you know why I stare at the lake like I do?” Alex asked tenderly. “Well, I’ll tell you. The lake makes me think of you. When I’m lonely without you, the forest makes me think of you when you stare at me like I’m the only person in the world. When you’re upset and I stare at the sky, it reminds me that the storm will pass and another calm will arrive for us. I think of those mountains in the distance and I remember how we hiked them together for the first time—and how if we just hung in there and kept moving, we’d get through it together. When I hear the wind through the trees, it makes me want to hear you sing your Lonestar songs over and over again. I found you at this lake before I even knew you existed. I don’t see a lake anymore when I stare out the window. I see you.” Alex pulled out the gold wedding ring and took Will’s left hand.

 

“I love you Will,” he said, barely able to say it loud enough so the whole group could hear. “I know I haven’t shown it as much as I should to you. And I’m sorry. I acted like our love didn’t matter—when it’s the one thing that matters most. And I should have known that. And I should have run with it, no matter how scared I’ve been of what the people I care about thought of us. I am so blessed to have you in my life. And I plan on spending the rest of my life honoring that blessing.” Alex slipped the gold ring onto Will’s left ring finger. “I, Alexander Levinson, take you, William Brighton, to be my lawfully wedded husband. You’re the whisper in the wind—and I’ll be there till the end.”

 

Alex never got a chance to turn to the side to see the looks on his family’s face. Before Alex knew it, Will tackled Alex and pushed him into the lake, the judge moving just in time before they took him down with them. Under the water, where no one else could reach them, Alex and Will finally became one.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Drew Wade]

hey wow, southern accents and all. sheeeiiiittt. hahaha.

I don't really feel qualified to talk about this since I'm divorced from all of the stuff that goes on politically with this topic. It was a nice story, however. the silver engagement ring being drawn from the muck, that was the most picturesque moment of it for me.

[Tom Benson]

Good work overall. The reader is made aware quite early on that there is something amiss - or there will be before the end, but it isn't made too obvious which is the way it should be, setting up sufficient clues, but not too many.
I thought it was really atmospheric. The imagery portrayed a peaceful and picturesque setting, but it also hinted at seclusion, a privacy that would be hard to break into. Enjoyed the heated exchange in the dialogue too. Not particularly easy to get right, but I think you got the balance with it. There was an edge, an anger in both directions. It brought emotions to the fore that had only been hinted at before.
Tom

[Taylor H]

why would i want to drive your car off a cliff? this sounds pretty gay loving to me lol. this was great and adorable lol gay guys are so cute

[[untitled]]

I think it was an awsoem love story. you wrote about a diffrent not traditional type of love which is uncommon and i think people will appreciate that.

[DarkAngelWriter]

Aww, Stefanie... you've got me crying. You really do love those boys, don't you? And you tell a damn good story. Great job.