Stars

Your fingertips outline the silhouettes of the stars,

I watch you gleam amongst the grass from afar.

Somewhere inside each point you have touched,

There is a trace of a goddess and a bit of love.

Hinting that there is more to stars than just a shine,

It’s a symbol that one day something far could be mine.

I would hold you close as we stay idle on the ground,

We never spoke once because the stars are our sounds.

Shooting across the sky as we make that special wish,

There is not another moment that can make us feel like this.

Reviews

[Megan Marie]

This is really nice. Makes my mind wander off

[Princess152]

another beautiful write

[Lilly]

This a beautiful piece. The images here and the feel of the poem are vivid and lovely.

[Darwyn Sansalone]

I enjoy how you leave the poem open for two variations of emotional interpretation. Only one issue, although you make it quite personal, the way you tie in religious elements as imagery, it doesn't go smoothly against the top line "silhouettes of the stars".

...The first line of the poem is by far the best and the rest doesn't keep the same rhythm; another way of saying this, the skies are symbolism of universalistic ways and the then you jump to holy beauty, then although you bring in the stars again, it had no transition, therefore when you add the special wish at the end, I just can't feel it.

From an abstract perspective, could you a bit of variational rhythm other then the typical rhyme scheme, but very well done.

[ChristopherPoet]

There's an enigmatic quality to your words, especially in reference to "a trace of goddess" almost out of reach and unobtainable, but maybe. Imagery is wonderful also.