A cantankerous writer

Sometimes you are not a writer but just trying to be one

Writing a book is not that simple, it takes courage to write a book. Writing a book means you yourself become void and hollow. You put every thought, emotion, feeling, instinct, experience on  a few lines of paper. To me it is an act of suffering. Sometimes your pen follows you and sometimes it ceases to reveal your undetermined emotions. Writing means becoming a criminal in your mind where your thoughts haunt you, where fear gets you every time, where your imagination falls into an endless limbo without aiming to touch the ground.

  My question which I ask myself many times is why do I write? When writing something haunts me so badly. Why do I feel voidness in my soul? When I can't feed lines with proper words. Why do I cry? When I feel I can't write anything anymore. When they(critics) say writing is an art which only few possess, I ask them how? I want to tell them it is neither an art nor it is some talent, it is just a simple way to express your regret which has haunted you throughout your life. Regret is that compelling instinct which fills soul in the writing. To me writer is one who is unsuccessful in his life. When a writer can't achieve anything in his life he writes inspirational books. When he can't settle his life affairs, he writes fiction so that he can reason himself. When he wishes to master the nature and fails, he writes poetry. Hence writer lives in a universe where everything is followed by failures.

  Despite all this, sometimes when I am alone I think of becoming a great writer who is respected everywhere he goes, and for achieving it I had to be good at failures because failure represent how good I am at writing and how far can I go in this small universe of writers. I want to feel that pain which will help me to stray away from the norms of so called "modern society" so that I an always look at them with hate and hostility. So that I can deliver them the same pain with my feelings such that they will respect me just to keep themselves away from me. Only then I will be able to write what they call

"Writing".

Author's Note

Important note : This story is about a writer who is upset with the world not about me. And just because this writer is upset he sees things with hatred because he thinks these people are responsible for his failures and tries to write against them which make him a great write because now he is not writing he is expressing his feelings which are much more power than mere words.
Please don't forget to write reviews...its important to me

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

I for one am glad you decided to be vulnerable and put your true thoughts on paper. The human condition is messy at times; chaotic, difficult- etc, etc,. I needed the inspiration that I am not the only one who ever had doubts about my motivation, goals or dreams. Keep up the good work; your on the right track. I am a very newbie writer with just three poems so you are to me a great success.

[Country boy183798]

An interesting piece! I enjoyed reading it and I like the theme and the topic you write about. The only thing I think could have been better is that you could have formatted your text better. But aside from that, I really liked it and I'll be looking forward to your next uploads.
Take care and keep on writing!

[Usman Muhammad]

Thanks EdReilly

[Richard🖌]

Usman,
As stated in my Profile Comments: I am Merely a poet, and unqualified to review and critique writers' stories, but on your insistence, this time, and this time only, I shall give it my best shot.

I realize each author has their own philosophy and feeling(s) about their genre of writing and what it means to them when composing it, so your expressed commentary here is, somewhat, of interest to me on that level, as it allows for insight into another's outlook and take about their own writing … which I find to be rather radical (unbalanced ?) in some quite odd ways, and insightful into your own motives in writing and personality in others.

As far as grammar and presentation are concerned, there are the usual variances one would expect from one whose first language is other than English, but not excessively so; perhaps, as good as, if not better, than some of my own … LOL!

As I've emphasized to the best of my ability, I am merely a poet, and no expert on writing; so, what I say in review and critique should be accepted with a grain of salt (accepted with skepticism, or not taken literally) and as nothing more than my opinion, but with your particular outlook about writing in general, it seems (to me) you might be better off seeking another method of expressing yourself, as it doesn't seem to be beneficial to your mental health, or your mental health is not good for it, but that's just my take on what you've shared, after carefully and fully reading through it several times.

In-any-event, "Welcome to the site!" I am positive there is much for you here to learn from.
I wish you the very best of luck in whatever your endeavours, Usman … sincerely! ⁓ Richard

[Usman Muhammad]

Thanks for reviewing on this story. Basically this story is about a writer who is upset with the world not about me. And just because this writer is upset he sees things with hatred because he thinks these people are responsible for his failures and tries to write against them which make him a great write because now he is not writing he is expressing his feelings which are much more power than mere words.

[Richard🖌]

Usman,
If such a story gives every appearance of being about the author who wrote it, but it is not, it should be so stated and made clear in your Author's Note box, in order for your readers/reviewers to understand this; otherwise, how are we to know?
It is not fair to those who take their time and effort to give you an honest critique to leave us in the dark … it feels like a bad trick on us.

[Usman Muhammad]

You are absolutely right... i beg pardon. Next time i will keep this in mind. Thanks for your review because it matters to me a lot. Once again i beg pardon for my mistake

[Richard🖌]

You can do the right thing and rectify your "mistake" now, by making a comment in your Author's Notes, so no one else who comes along and reviews for you will be fooled into thinking this article is about You.

[Usman Muhammad]

Done sir.. The Author's note has been updated

[Richard🖌]

A most wonderfully thoughtful and considerate gesture for your fellow-writers, Usman … thank you for having your heart and your head in the right place! ⁓ RJ

[Usman Muhammad]

Sir it shouldn't be you thanking but me. We need people like you to help us improve our writing skills. You mean a lot to us..to this community.

[Georgina Cross]

Hi Usman, this is a very different type of short story that i thoroughly enjoyed the idea of writing a book leaving you void and hollow is an unusual stance and very thought provoking. I'm not sure if this is a story or... Well I'm not really sure what i would call it. But it is very interesting and i hope you continue to write.
I will follow your work closely,
Please keep writing.
Georgie.

[Usman Muhammad]

Thanks Georgia pardon me i am not a writer since its my first story in English. Even i didn't know either it was an article or story. So you are absolutely right in your doubt. Your encouragement means a lot to me.I only considered it a story just because it was about some author(not me) who was trying to tell his story.

[Georgina Cross]

Oh yes I understand completely, please do not doubt your judgement. Even if others do not quite understand it is your work and your emotion on the page, not theirs. I do love you perspective, it's a very unique idea and I think you should definitely keep with it. It is beautiful writing.
Georgie.