Ask Me Tomorrow

I wrote this shortly after my 20th birthday when my Dad gave me a birthday gift. He is an alcoholic and we were on really rough terms at this point in my life.

You came by with a smile
And brought gifts for the birthdays you've missed or forgotten.
You put it all in a bag and handed it over to me.
Still with a smile you said "This is for what I missed"
And I know what you meant when you said it.
Inside the bag, things that say he knows me
One by one I sort through them...he does still know me

When I finish with that you start to speak
You say "You have every right to be afraid"
"You have every right not to trust me again"
"I've given you every reason after all"
I smile through the speech, thinking back through it all.
I wonder if he really knows how badly it hurt
My life, all our lives held back by a bottle
By the pills and the liquor and the loss of such love
A heart broken to pieces and burned away.

Once you have finished I take a deep breath
I miss him, I love him, but it's still so hard
He closes his eyes and breathes in as well
"I'm sorry" he says, "I'm so sorry I hurt you"
"And gave you the reasons not to trust"
"I'd take it all back if I could, you know that"
I'm convinced and not all at the same time
Is it really that easy? Can it be that easy?
Can two words take it all back and burn it away?
Will gifts and words heal every flesh and mental wound?

I don't know right now...

Ask me tomorrow.

Author's Note

Written in an emotional moment, ignore punctuation and grammar.

Reviews

[Lavender Soya]

Thanks for sharing your life through this poem. And I almost cried, the elements of your work agreed so much with each other that I was able to walk in your shoes. Kudos!

[Socioloverboy]

Reality is painful and being able to weave it into words is a gift. Frogiveness is one of those things, hurts like hell to do, and hurts even worse when done and to be let down again. This is beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

[Audrey Wynters]

Thank you very much, I appreciate the feedback. It was a hard one to post since it's so personal but I am happy you liked it.