Breeze As A Spear...

Breeze As A Spear...

A Poem by Surya

Some where behind this
Breeze on this bruisy man
I feel your presence
Even in your delighted absence

Negligence of rain on me
Showered me my tears
Worth of drunken spears
Digged my love mines.

Tattered tauntrums
In echoes of silence
I found a gaze of your
Pleasant smiles on my lips.

Lurking eyes of you
Gumptioned my
Petals of love, making me
A bud to love you again.

© 2017 Surya



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Featured Review

"I feel your presence
Even in your delighted absence"
This is what, for me, stood out in the poem. It holds so many feelings and contradictions.
And the entire poem has a unique style.
Though I didn't understand each word as you meant it, I still found this poem one of your bests.
Thanks for sharing Surya!


Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

"Negligence of rain on me
Showered me my tears
Worth of drunken spears
Digged my love mines."

I can just feel the rain slowly dropping on my face and washed away the tears. That so called worth of drunken spears literally needs a digging of landmines. Well done.

Sincerely,
CAPOLAVORO

Posted 9 Months Ago


"I feel your presence
Even in your delighted absence"
This is what, for me, stood out in the poem. It holds so many feelings and contradictions.
And the entire poem has a unique style.
Though I didn't understand each word as you meant it, I still found this poem one of your bests.
Thanks for sharing Surya!


Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The first thing I love in this is title and the second is entire poem

Posted 10 Months Ago


Surya

10 Months Ago

Thank you Farhan...:)
Different. Unique in content. Praisworty expression of thought. Deep. Liked your play with words.

Posted 10 Months Ago


Surya

10 Months Ago

That means to me...Thank you..:)
Wonderful phrase, 'making me a bud to love you again.' The next time I am feeling a bit 'bruisy', I will read your poem again. I can only say, I thought it was an excellent write.

Posted 10 Months Ago


Surya

10 Months Ago

Thank you so much Dear Aunt...;)
As you often do, here's a great example of writing with originality! There isn't one phrase here that's been used before & such unusual descriptions make your writing thought-provoking, even when it's about something simple becuz of the way you present it. Love this phrase for alliteration & meaning: "tattered tantrums" . . . love this phrase for it's stunning unusual way: "bruisy man" (this is what I mean by thought-provoking -- it can be interpreted in many different ways, so we are thinking, how does this fit into this poem?)

Posted 10 Months Ago


Surya

10 Months Ago

Thank you so much...I find joy in my own words, that's it....:)
Wonderfully crafted surya ji.... Nice work

Posted 10 Months Ago


Surya

10 Months Ago

Thank you Pragya...:)
Showered me my tears...... N echoes of silence......wow..... No words... i can only feel.... Thnx for sharing.... 😊

Posted 10 Months Ago


Surya

10 Months Ago

Thank you so much Sandipta...:)
What an amazing write. You came up with a marvellous work after being absent for days. Nice use of alliteration 'Tattered tantrums'. I loved the last line. Thank you so much for sharing this.

Posted 10 Months Ago


Surya

10 Months Ago

Thank you so much Saher...:)
Najam Us Saher

10 Months Ago

You're welcome. :)
Wow! Crafted so beautifully!
We end up retreating..
Powerful
"
Tattered tauntrums
In echoes of silence"

Posted 10 Months Ago


Surya

10 Months Ago

Thank you Tazeen...:)

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Added on August 19, 2017
Last Updated on August 19, 2017

Author

Surya
Surya

Hyderabad, India



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