Uttermost

You may say you don't
but you know me; of me
and my swelling quiet
 
and they may say
over and over
in a low rumble
not to write of love
I know, I know
 
I close my eyes
the sanguine lids
like a heart
throbbing 
 
In ink it spills
brims over like tears withheld
and stains the stark white page
 
your whiskers at dusk
the fine lines in your lips
Your eyes drip like jewels
heavy and sparkling 
 
This smudge of words
I would die in
if I could not write 
what I cannot speak

Author's Note

Thinking of changing the title from Uttermost (I liked the word play on utter) into Ink Spots on Paper. Some feedback on what you guys prefer would be nice! Thanks for stopping by.

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

What a shadowed beauty you breathe out here... the words as moving, waking lyrics unmatched. If you wish to stay with Uttermost, you might simply change the last line to read: what I cannot utter, so the play on words is not lost. Love your writing.. always have.

[Sorry Infamous]

Thanks for taking the time to stop by Craig and thank-you for the input on the ending to the title. I appreciate it.

[An owl on the moon]

Just thrilled to see you back.. your voice belongs here like birdsong.. :)

[Sorry Infamous]

*blushing*

[jacob erin-cilberto]

keep "uttermost"

i like the last stanza as is...terrific wording...you are a fresh voice...so different..the way you describe love, and here the way you describe the poet trying to find the words to die in....

excellent write.

[Mouli Banerjee]

i like "uttermost" better. it seems more intense, and suits the poem. the imagery is so beautiful.

[Sorry Infamous]

Thanks! and thanks for stopping by. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

"In ink it spills
brims over like tears withheld
and stains the stark white page "
Words give us strength and relief. I enjoyed this poem. Each set of lines send me to different places and thoughts. Closing lines were my favorite. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Sorry Infamous]

Thank you, Coyote.

[melodioh]

Honestly?

This piece needs more than just a name change. It's awkwardly composed. The similies weak. The lay out, punctuation, structure of sentences,..lazy.

I don't suppose any of your friends will tell you this much, so I will.
Keep working on your writing. Don't be discouraged.

[DCT ponderings]

I too thought of Rorschach instead of ink spots on paper. Because underneath lives the question of whether you can see the love given. To me it begs “See me” and I will look right into you. There is a multi-layered nature to your writes, and depth I can dive into. Well written.

This smudge of words
I would die in
if I could not write
what I cannot speak

[Sally Dinn]

I like the fact that this is intimate. I like that it's conflicting. Because I have nothing but praise for what it carries.

[Cool Handless Luke]

This smudge of words
I would die in
if I could not write
what I cannot speak

i really like the ending. you also managed to write a love poem without going all hallmark on it. making it too mushy-gushy lol. there's a hint of darkness to it, or a finality to the sentiment concerning the outlet writing lends to the writer. sometimes we just can say with our lips what we can with our pen. ink spots on paper makes me think of rorschach ink blots but i have played with that theme in poems before (words bleeding in rorschach shapes upon the page) because everyone seems to find different meanings in a poem mush the same way as people see different images in the shapes. a great poem though, glad you are writing again!

[Sorry Infamous]

Thanks for stopping by and for your kind kind words!

[Sami Khalil]

"I close my eyes
the sanguine lids
like a heart
throbbing

In ink it spills
brims over like tears withheld
and stains the stark white page "
All splendid and beautiful...Thank you for sharing...:)

[Jack...]

My first time to your page and what a pleasant surprise I have found. This poem was extremely nice. I like the feel of this and the flow. As if it has it's own heartbeat. The last verse is spot on, it really brings the entire piece together. Very nicely done.

[Dr. Wood ?]

Maybe just Uttering.....I have not read you before...You have an interesting angle.......DO NOT READ MY stuff...it RHYMES.......I was worried a little in this poem by the line 'THESE SMUDGE OF WORDS'...probably just ME....should not it be THIS????

[Sorry Infamous]

Now that you mention it I do like the sound of THIS!